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Now gentlemen we're not gonna sit here and pretendthere's not a big ass elephant in the roomWhat the fuck is going onThis is what the fuck is going onOh shit Oh shitLaughing hystericallyOh shit NoThat

It's really not that funny

22 Jump Street • 2014

Captain Dickson:
Gentlemen, you're not gonna sit hereCaptain Dickson:& pretend there's not a big-ass elephant in the room.Jenko: What the fuck is going on?Captain Dickson: *This* is what the fuck is going on!Jenko: Oh shit! Oh shit!Jenko:Oh shit! No! That is not happening right now!Jenko:No!Jenko:Hey ya'll he's fucking the captain's daughter! Yo! Oh my FUCK!Captain Dickson: Every time, he says that shit? That's another foot in your ass!Jenko: Schmidt! You clearly... yo, this is the best thing ever!Jenko:Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!Jenko:Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter! Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!Jenko: Shit! Fuck!Jenko:You fucked Captain Dickson's daughter? Captain? What the fuck, you bragged to him to his face! To his actual face, the captain, do you understand that *this face*Jenko:right here! You bragged to that face!Jenko: You actually high-fived Schmidt for fucking your daughter? Holy Shit! Oh my God, this is...Captain Dickson:Jenko: It's really not that funny

Full Transcript

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Now gentlemen we're not gonna sit here and pretend

00:00:05.538 --> 00:00:08.039

there's not a big ass elephant in the room

00:00:08.041 --> 00:00:08.084

What the fuck is going on

00:00:10.209 --> 00:00:12.143

This is what the fuck is going on

00:00:18.317 --> 00:00:21.152

Oh shit Oh shit

00:00:21.154 --> 00:00:22.687

Laughing hysterically

00:00:24.389 --> 00:00:26.039

Oh shit No

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That is not happening right now No

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Hey y'all he's fucking the captain's daughter Yo

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Every time he say that shit

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Jenko Oh my fuck

00:00:36.436 --> 00:00:38.436

that's another foot in your ass

00:00:38.438 --> 00:00:41.672

Schmidt you clearly Yo this is the best thing ever

00:00:41.674 --> 00:00:42.707

Laughing hysterically

00:00:43.876 --> 00:00:46.444

Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter

00:00:46.446 --> 00:00:49.447

Singsong Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter

00:00:49.449 --> 00:00:52.283

Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter

00:00:52.285 --> 00:00:54.886

Shit Fuck

00:00:54.888 --> 00:00:57.488

You fucked captain dickson's daughter

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Captain what the

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You bragged to him to his face

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To his actual face Captain

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Do you understand that this face right here you bragged to that face

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You actually high fived schmidt for fucking your daughter

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Holy shit

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Oh my God This is

00:01:15.607 --> 00:01:17.175

It's really not that funny

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.898

Tu déconnes

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Et j'étais habillé en Peter Pan Toi et ton frère vous êtes proches

00:00:08.411 --> 00:00:11.767

Oui eh oui

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La vidéo Zook McQuaid Football

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C'est du génie C'est pas trop

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Non

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Ouais putain

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On a passé la nuit Ça pourrait être bien pire

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Là il nous faudrait Un fondu enchaîné

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Tu me dois une bière Bien joué De Quoi

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On a parlé toute la nuit merde déjà 8h

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Je dois aller en cours OK

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Sers toi ce que tu veux excuse moi

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À tout à l'heure OK

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Putain

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Ça fait longtemps que tes là Une éternité

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C'était un moment intime Alors il faut que

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Je fasse comme si j'entendais pas tous tes problèmes

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Ich habe einen Kurs

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Nimm dir was du brauchst und

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Tut mir riesig leid

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Also dann bis

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Bis später

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Beste Nacht überhaupt

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Mach's gut

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Wie lange sitzt du schon da

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Die längste Zeitspanne die dir einfällt

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Das war nicht für dich Sondern privat

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Soll ich einfach

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da sitzen und alle deine Probleme ignorieren

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Du hast 99 Probleme

00:00:40.576 --> 00:00:41.703

Aber Jungsein ist keins davon

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Du bist nur neidisch weil wir uns so gut verstehen

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Mein Opa und ich tun das auch

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Du bist schlimmer als Cynthia

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und die ging immer zum Uni Psychiater

00:00:52.709 --> 00:00:53.397

Wozu

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Keine Ahnung

00:00:54.084 --> 00:00:56.395

Aber sie kriegte viele Pillen

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Vielleicht kriegst du was für deine alte Visage

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In Ordnung

00:01:05.408 --> 00:01:06.749

Du kommst spät

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Nein ich hab über dem Fall gebrütet

00:01:11.714 --> 00:01:13.066

Er war Cynthias Therapeut

00:01:13.846 --> 00:01:15.001

Das ist unser Fall

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:06.172

Hei dengar kawan Kau tidak tahu tentang bandar narkoba disini

00:00:08.306 --> 00:00:10.685

Kenapa kau bertanya seperti itu Tidak tidak apa apa

00:00:13.056 --> 00:00:18.732

Kau siap Ada sesuatu yang tidak beres disini

00:00:19.998 --> 00:00:20.931

Seseorang sudah menyebabkan kematian disini

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Aku tahu apa yang aku lakukan Ya pastinya

00:00:29.285 --> 00:00:33.319

Aku beritahu kau sesuatu aku percaya padamu Yeah apa

00:00:37.671 --> 00:00:42.712

Aku harus menemukan orang ini Mungkin di suatu tempat di kampus ini

00:00:42.785 --> 00:00:51.268

Itu sangat berbahaya bagimu kau sebaiknya tidak ikut campur dalam urusan seperti ini

00:00:55.275 --> 00:00:59.439

Jadi kau tahu sesuatu tentang itu Yeah aku tahu semuanya disini

00:00:59.485 --> 00:01:04.633

Aku pernah bertemu dengannya Tapi kau dan aku seperti Batman dan Robin

00:01:04.877 --> 00:01:08.911

Mungkin kita berdua Batman Dengan cara kita menghadapi semuanya

00:01:09.999 --> 00:01:15.031

Tapi kau seperti polisi Yang selalu bertanya seperti ini

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Так господа мы не будем сидеть и делать вид

00:00:05.538 --> 00:00:08.039

будто ни херашеньки не случилось

00:00:08.041 --> 00:00:08.084

Да что такое блядь

00:00:10.209 --> 00:00:12.143

ВОТ ЧТО блядь

00:00:18.317 --> 00:00:21.152

Вот сука Блин

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Блин Нет

00:00:26.392 --> 00:00:29.961

Это чё всё взаправду Нет

00:00:29.963 --> 00:00:33.364

Эй братва он трахнул капитанскую дочку ё моё

00:00:33.366 --> 00:00:34.866

Каждый раз как он прогоняет эту херню

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Ох ты же ёбаный насос

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это плюс один поджопник

00:00:38.438 --> 00:00:41.672

Шмидт ну ты Это ж ваще дал стране угля

00:00:43.876 --> 00:00:46.444

Шмидт насадил капитанскую доооочку

00:00:46.446 --> 00:00:49.447

Шмидт насадил капитанскую доооочку

00:00:49.449 --> 00:00:52.283

Шмидт насадил капитанскую доооочку

00:00:52.285 --> 00:00:54.886

Бля Сука

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Ты насадил на кукан дочуру капитана Диксона

00:00:58.157 --> 00:00:59.724

Капитан какого

00:00:59.726 --> 00:01:02.126

Ты ж этим перед ним бравировал

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Прямо перед ним Капитан

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Вот этот вот человек ты перед ним бравировал понимаешь

00:01:07.999 --> 00:01:11.169

Капитан да вы ж ему за то что он её насадил пятюню отвесили

00:01:11.001 --> 00:01:12.236

Твою мать

00:01:13.955 --> 00:01:14.001

Боже это

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Это не так уж и смешно

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Ahora usted sabe a veces nos aferramos a las cosas

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porque son familiar y cómodo

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Enseño acerca un principio llamado la incrustación

00:00:07.645 --> 00:00:09.242

Mira los hechos De hecho yo

00:00:09.244 --> 00:00:11.922

Zook tiene el tatuaje Sabía Cynthia

00:00:11.924 --> 00:00:13.278

Sé que la primera vez que te conoció

00:00:13.281 --> 00:00:14.635

se le cayó un jodido sándwich en el pie

00:00:14.637 --> 00:00:16.001

y él le sonrió a usted

00:00:16.099 --> 00:00:19.297

pero usted está completamente ante el hecho de

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Qué le dijiste incrustación era Incorporación

00:00:21.318 --> 00:00:24.934

Oh la incrustación es nuestra tendencia aferrarse a

00:00:24.936 --> 00:00:27.543

el primer bit de información que se nos ofrece

00:00:27.545 --> 00:00:30.291

y con vistas o incluso ignorando información contradictoria

00:00:30.293 --> 00:00:31.231

Es una fascinante principio

00:00:31.233 --> 00:00:33.003

Cállate Estoy pensando

00:00:34.189 --> 00:00:36.589

Crees es posible que

00:00:36.591 --> 00:00:38.503

nos inmersos

00:00:38.505 --> 00:00:40.207

Lo que como cuando éramos borracho o algo así

00:00:40.021 --> 00:00:42.191

Estamos inmersos El uno al otro Bueno Voy a recomendar

00:00:42.193 --> 00:00:42.099

Bueno puede salir de la habitación

00:00:42.993 --> 00:00:44.104

Sólo lárgate

00:00:45.001 --> 00:00:46.504

Vete a la mierda Ya lo has oído

00:00:46.506 --> 00:00:47.861

Esto dio un giro

00:00:47.863 --> 00:00:49.427

Uno dos

00:00:49.429 --> 00:00:51.271

Bueno Sip Buena sesión

00:00:51.273 --> 00:00:52.593

La primera vez vimos la foto

00:00:52.595 --> 00:00:54.998

de Cynthia comprar whyphy

00:00:54.001 --> 00:00:56.803

i Dickson dijo Este tipo es el distribuidor i

00:00:56.805 --> 00:00:58.096

Todo lo que hemos hecho y el pensamiento ha sido sobre la base de ese hecho

00:00:58.962 --> 00:01:00.734

pero lo que si Dickson estaba mal

00:01:00.736 --> 00:01:03.274

Y hemos ignorado todas las otras pistas

00:01:03.276 --> 00:01:04.666

i Qué pasa si Cynthia no era el comprador i

00:01:05.999 --> 00:01:07.762

i Qué pasa si Cynthia fue el distribuidor i

00:01:07.764 --> 00:01:11.346

Capitán tenemos algo muy muy importante para informarle

00:01:15.008 --> 00:01:17.364

Capitán

00:01:17.367 --> 00:01:19.001

Estás usando kevlar

Available in 6 languages

Duration

78 seconds

Views

1,351

Timestamp in Movie

01:04:59

Uploaded

Feb 16, 2026

Genres

action, comedy, crime

Production

Columbia Pictures,Original Film,MRC,LStar Capital,Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer,Stephen J. Cannell Productions,75 Year Plan Productions,Storyville Films,JHF Productions,33andOut Productions

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Movie Summary

After making their way through high school (twice), big changes are in store for officers Schmidt and Jenko when they go deep undercover at a local college.

Actors

Captain Dickson

Jenko