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Tom:Yeah, uh, this is... And Rhoda, no disrespect, but um, this is total shit.McKenzie:Tom!Tom:"Go for it" "You can do it"? That's not inspirational, that's suicidal. If pickles goes for it right there, that's a dead cat. These are lies. We're liars. Think about it. Why do people buy these things? It's not 'cause they wanna say how they feel. People buy cards 'cause they can't say how they feel or they're afraid too. We provide the service that lets them off the hook. You know what? I say to hell with it. Let's level with America. At least let them speak for themselves! Right? I mean, look! What-What is this? What does it say? "Congratulations on your new baby." Right? How 'bout, "Congratulations on your new baby. Guess that's it for hanging out. Nice knowing you."Vance:Sit down, Hansen.Tom:How bout this one, with all the pretty hearts on the front? I think I know where this ones going. Yep! "Happy Valentines Day, sweetheart. I love you." That sweet? Ain't love grand? This is exactly what I'm talking about. What does that even mean, "love"? Do you know? Do you? Anybody?McKenzie:Tom...Tom:If somebody gave me this card, Mr. Vance, I would eat it. It's these cards, and the movies and the pop songs, they're to blame for all the lies and the heartache, everything. We're responsible. *I'm responsible.* I think we do a bad thing here. People should be able to say how they feel, how they really feel, not you know, some words that some stranger put in their mouths. Words like "love"... that don't mean anything. Sorry, I'm sorry. I, uh... I quit. I'm... There's enough bullshit in the world without my help
Full Transcript
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Yeah uh this is
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And Rhoda no disrespect here
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but um this is total shit
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Tom Go for it and You can do it
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That's not inspirational That's suicidal
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If Pickles goes for it right there that's a dead cat
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These are lies we're liars
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Think about it Why do people buy these things
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It's not 'cause they want to say how they feel
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People buy cards 'cause they can't say how they feel or they're afraid to
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We provide the service that lets them off the hook
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You know what I say to hell with it Let's level with America
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At least let them speak for themselves Right
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I mean look What what is this What does it say
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Congratulations on your new baby Right
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How 'bout Congratulations on your new baby
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That's it for hanging out Nice knowing you Sit down Hansen
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How 'bout this one with all the pretty hearts on the front I know where this is going Yep
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Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart I love you
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That sweet Ain't love grand
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This is exactly what I'm talking about
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What does that even mean love
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Do you know Do you Anybody
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Tom
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If somebody gave me this card Mr Vance I would eat it
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It's It's these cards and the movies and the pop songs
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They're to blame for all the lies
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and the heartache everything
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And we're responsible I'm responsible
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I think we do a bad thing here
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People should be able to say how they feel how they really feel
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not you know some words that some strangers put in their mouths
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Words like love
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that don't mean anything
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Sorry I'm sorry I uh
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I quit I'm
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There's enough bullshit in the world without my help
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Movie Summary
After being dumped by the girl he believes to be his soulmate, hopeless romantic Tom Hansen reflects on their relationship to try and figure out where things went wrong and how he can win her back.

