Transcript:
MAXWELL: Agent 34? 86, welcome to Innsbruck. (BONES CRUNCHING) Thank you.
Shall we go? | MAXWELL: Agent 34? 86, welcome to Innsbruck. (BONES CRUNCHING) Thank you.
Shall we go?

Transcript:
MAXWELL:
This tram is overloaded. Tell them they can walk on
water, it's part of the tour. AGENT 22: All right, now,
you're all Israelites. You're going to go into the water
and experience what Moses ...

Transcript:
(PEOPLE GASPING) (PEOPLE SCREAMING) | (PEOPLE GASPING) (PEOPLE SCREAMING)

Transcript:
We've got to take this tram.
There are people on it. Tell them it's part of the tour.
They could get killed. So what? We're not
charging them for it. | We've got to take this tram.
There are people on...

Transcript:
They're using real bullets. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) | They're using real bullets. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Transcript:
MAN: Now, there are rules
to movie fighting. The villain always
gets in the first punch. I counter with a left, like in the
stomach, toss him out the window. And that's why movie
fights look realer. N...

Transcript:
That way, 22. (GROANS) | That way, 22. (GROANS)

Transcript:
22, are you all right? He clubbed me. A man, he grabbed the dress
and went out the door! | 22, are you all right? He clubbed me. A man, he grabbed the dress
and went out the door!

Transcript:
He's been shot, 22. See what you can do for him.
I'm gonna check out the back. | He's been shot, 22. See what you can do for him.
I'm gonna check out the back.

Transcript:
Mr. Seigle? (GASPS) | Mr. Seigle? (GASPS)

Transcript:
Freeze. 36, what are you doing in my bed? Well, Carruthers called about Seigle. I rushed right over
and you weren't here, and I hadn't slept in 48 hours, so I thought I'd take a
shower to wake myself ...

Transcript:
Never?
Never! 22?
Hmm? After, definitely. | Never?
Never! 22?
Hmm? After, definitely.

Transcript:
See you later, Max. CARRUTHERS: Got
our first break, Smart. Man named Seigle responded to the
distribution of the photographs. Said he'd call you back. | See you later, Max. CARRUTHERS: Got
our first ...

Transcript:
(MEN SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (MEN CONTINUE
SPEAKING RUSSIAN) COMMANDER: Present...
Halt! PLAYER: Let's give
these fans what it's worth. (PEOPLE CHATTERING) (PEOPLE CHATTERING) | (MEN SPEAKING RUSSIAN) (MEN ...

Transcript:
Well, Max, KAOS knows
you're on the job. I've never seen that maneuver before. Falling over backwards
and coming up shooting! When did you first think of that? The second my foot hit
this banana peel....

Transcript:
Max, take cover! CHIEF: Max, watch out! | Max, take cover! CHIEF: Max, watch out!

Transcript:
I don't think Carruthers
expects us this early. I hope he moved your things
over from your old apartment. 22, we'll be out
in about five minutes. AGENT 22: Okay. Chief, you
may have been followed. A b...

Transcript:
What is it now, Chief? CHIEF: Max, I wanna
know what's happening (THUDS) (MAXWELL SCREAMING) MAXWELL: I'm falling at a
speed of 120 miles an hour from a height of
approximately 8,000 feet. I'm gonna o...

Transcript:
Agent 22: I've never seen that maneuver before: falling over backwards and coming up shooting. When did you first think of that?
Maxwell Smart: The second my foot hit this banana peel. | I've never se...

Transcript:
Maxwell Smart: Sorry about that... Normie. | Sorry about that Chief

Transcript:
Russell. Please come back to me. | Russell. Please come back to me.

Transcript:
Freeze! Drop the knife! No. Please. Ohh! Aah! | Freeze! Drop the knife! No. Please. Ohh! Aah!

Transcript:
Aah! Aah! | Aah! Aah!

Transcript:
[Channing screaming] Aah! | [Channing screaming] Aah!

Transcript:
Sister. Oh, I'm afraid
she's not here. Keep fighting him,
Marguerite. | Sister. Oh, I'm afraid
she's not here. Keep fighting him,
Marguerite.

Transcript:
Let her go, Patrick. So soon? I just got here. I just got here. Come out and face me,
you son of a bitch. Don't hide behind her. Don't you know
that cursing is a sin? | Let her go, Patrick. So soon? I...

Transcript:
Sister. Take my hand. [Channing's voice]
Gee, thanks, Russ. | Sister. Take my hand. [Channing's voice]
Gee, thanks, Russ.

Transcript:
We have to hurry. He's still here.
I feel it. Sister Marguerite! Keep going. | We have to hurry. He's still here.
I feel it. Sister Marguerite! Keep going.

Transcript:
[Voices chant] | [Voices chant]

Transcript:
Logan. Hurry. We have to get
out of here. | Logan. Hurry. We have to get
out of here.

Transcript:
En nomini patri,
et matri et spiritus sancti. Are you all right,
sister? Yes. | En nomini patri,
et matri et spiritus sancti. Are you all right,
sister? Yes.

Transcript:
Through the only soul
in history who had all 3 powers. | Through the only soul
in history who had all 3 powers.

Transcript:
Tess. Open up! | Tess. Open up!

Transcript:
Whee! [Honk honk] Come on. Pucker up. [Honk] Aah! [Honk] Whoo-ee! This is fun! Whee! Whoo-hoo! [Honk] Ooh, look!
There's a big truck. | Whee! [Honk honk] Come on. Pucker up. [Honk] Aah! [Honk] Whoo-ee...

Transcript:
Where are we going,
Logan? There's nowhere to go. Hi, Logan.
Did ya miss me? Give me a kiss. | Where are we going,
Logan? There's nowhere to go. Hi, Logan.
Did ya miss me? Give me a kiss.

Transcript:
Oh, good. A game. Hide-and-seek. I'm it.
I'll count to 10. 1... 2... 3... | Oh, good. A game. Hide-and-seek. I'm it.
I'll count to 10. 1... 2... 3...

Transcript:
Don't you think
I look pretty, Logan? Not nice to hit a lady. | Don't you think
I look pretty, Logan? Not nice to hit a lady.

Transcript:
Russell! What? What is it? The bag lady, she was outside
the window. | Russell! What? What is it? The bag lady, she was outside
the window.

Transcript:
Oh, Logan,
what are we doing? This is crazy. | Oh, Logan,
what are we doing? This is crazy.

Transcript:
You're holding it
upside down. [Pentagram drops] You can't go on killing
forever, Patrick. You want to bet? | You're holding it
upside down. [Pentagram drops] You can't go on killing
forever, Patrick....

Transcript:
Channing: This way. Come on. Check it out,
buddy boy. | Channing: This way. Come on. Check it out,
buddy boy.

Transcript:
Aah! I though I told you
to stay in the car. Logan, he's here.
Channing. I heard him
on the radio. You what? Channing: Piggy, piggy. | Aah! I though I told you
to stay in the car. Logan, he's here.
Ch...

Transcript:
Radio: Attention, all units.
Officer needs assistance. 2130 Julian. Channing on radio: You know
which officer needs help, don't you, sweet cakes? It's Logan. | Radio: Attention, all units.
Officer nee...

Transcript:
Marguerite. I'll pray for you. | Marguerite. I'll pray for you.

Transcript:
I never thought
you'd go this far, Marguerite. People came to me
for help. I turned them away. I can't do that
anymore. But that doesn't excuse the theft of a sacred
church icon. Is it theft to use th...

Transcript:
Oh, he came in here
at night. He was drunk. | Oh, he came in here
at night. He was drunk.

Transcript:
I don't care
what anybody says. He was a happy child. You tell them. Tell the world... What a good boy he was. A murderer?
That's just nonsense. He was always so quiet
and considerate. | I don't care
...

Transcript:
What made you decide
Patrick was innocent now? Why didn't you
see the truth sooner? That's why we want
to get the real story, Mrs. Channing. That's my husband Louis. He was a good man. The good always...

Transcript:
Is it too dark
in here? Light hurts my eyes. Cataracts. No, it's fine. Well, sit down. | Is it too dark
in here? Light hurts my eyes. Cataracts. No, it's fine. Well, sit down.

Transcript:
Mrs. Channing-- we're from The Post. We really hate
to bother you, but these new
pentagram killings could prove that Patrick
wasn't guilty after all. We'd like to talk to you
if we could. | Mrs. Chann...

Transcript:
You've gotta believe
in this. You've gotta believe
in this. You always talk
this much? It's no wonder
your boyfriend split. Wasn't my boyfriend. We just went out
a few times. Amazing it lasted
that lo...

Transcript:
So what's your next
hot lead? You know, you're not doing
so great yourself, Logan. Thing only thing
I've heard out of you so far is that you need
a drink. Would have done me
more good than seeing
the ...

Transcript:
I'm surprised you didn't
pull your gun on her. | I'm surprised you didn't
pull your gun on her.

Transcript:
Yes? Hi. We'd like to see
sister Marguerite, please. Sister Marguerite
doesn't see visitors. Could you tell her that it's a matter
police business, sister? I'm afraid that will mean
very little to her...

Transcript:
Ok, he possesses bodies, but I saw him.
I saw him. He wants you to see him.
That's his game. He can reveal himself
to you, or he can hide. And what am I
supposed to do? Look, I spend
most of my time t...

Transcript:
This is an emergency. Move! Look, I'm not
an anti-cop type. You need help
with some creep-- shut up! Shut up! Aah!
Aah! | This is an emergency. Move! Look, I'm not
an anti-cop type. You need help
with...

Transcript:
[Snoring] What the fuck? | [Snoring] What the fuck?

Transcript:
There it is! There it is!
Pull over! | There it is! There it is!
Pull over!

Transcript:
Where's the priest
who just came in here? Priest? I didn't see
any priest. | Where's the priest
who just came in here? Priest? I didn't see
any priest.

Transcript:
Hey! Are you ok? Are you ok? Well, what about
the bottle? Well, what about
the bottle? | Hey! Are you ok? Are you ok? Well, what about
the bottle? Well, what about
the bottle?

Transcript:
[Voices] [Laughter] | [Voices] [Laughter]

Transcript:
God, I hope
I am going nuts, Al. 'Cause if I'm not, Grimes isn't gonna do
much good. | God, I hope
I am going nuts, Al. 'Cause if I'm not, Grimes isn't gonna do
much good.

Transcript:
Perkins:
Get him out of here. Lieutenant Grimes, I want you to take over
the investigation immediately. Yes, sir. | Perkins:
Get him out of here. Lieutenant Grimes, I want you to take over
the investi...

Transcript:
Look, Russ. Yeah. I know. Officer: Sir? Yeah. Officer:
They got Mazza. | Look, Russ. Yeah. I know. Officer: Sir? Yeah. Officer:
They got Mazza.

Transcript:
Where's my witness? Oh, you mean the woman whose house you
illegally entered, hmm? Who you then abducted and recklessly
endangered the life of during a high-speed
auto pursuit? Her lawyer came
and got...

Transcript:
All right, Russ.
Let's try it again. What for? Because
I want to know how a guy jumps off
a 10-story building, waves at you, and then
just walks away. | All right, Russ.
Let's try it again. What for? ...

Transcript:
Where did he go? Where did he go? Who? The guy who just jumped
off the roof. Jumped off the roof?
What you been smoking? We could use some. | Where did he go? Where did he go? Who? The guy who just ju...

Transcript:
[Gunshot] Hold it! You move,
and you're dead. See you around,
buddy boy. | [Gunshot] Hold it! You move,
and you're dead. See you around,
buddy boy.

Transcript:
Let's do it, me and you. One on one? You're crazy. You're dead, all of you, and you know it. - You're dead.
- Swan! | Let's do it, me and you. One on one? You're crazy. You're dead, all of you, and yo...