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"A Million Ways to Die in the West" quotes

A Million Ways to Die in the West poster
As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.

Director: Seth MacFarlane
Writer: Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, western
Year: 2014
MetaScore: 44/100
ImdbRating: 6.1
BoxOffice: $43,139,300
Released: 30 May 2014
Awards: 6 nominations

76 Clips

AnnaAlbertDoc BrownVendorEdwardClinchGeorge StarkLouiseMillieFoyRuthCowboy At FairBarn Dance ComedianDream VoiceCochiseTeacherAbraham Lincoln
And life was a daily struggle for survival - A Million Ways to Die in the West 01:38 And life was a daily struggle for survival Hey hey dude you really shouldn't drink and horse - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:06 Hey hey dude you really shouldn't drink and horse Where'd you learn to shoot - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:08 Where'd you learn to shoot Yeah but you're not even a good sheep farmer Albert - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:18 Yeah but you're not even a good sheep farmer Albert You're okay with your girlfriend screwing 15 different guys every day - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:10 You're okay with your girlfriend screwing 15 different... The last time somebody gave me one of these - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:06 The last time somebody gave me one of these All right challenge accepted - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:04 All right challenge accepted I don't think you should leave tomorrow - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:36 I don't think you should leave tomorrow No I fired a gun at the shooting gallery - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:10 No I fired a gun at the shooting gallery Come on let's go - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:10 Come on let's go You know there are a million ways to die in the West Clinch - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:35 You know there are a million ways to die in the West Clinch My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:05 My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug You know what else can kill you - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:03 You know what else can kill you So how did you guys meet - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:15 So how did you guys meet God why are the Indians always so mad I don't know - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:10 God why are the Indians always so mad I don't know Man I see kids everywhere with those stick hoops lately - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:15 Man I see kids everywhere with those stick hoops lately Yeah this is my first vagina - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:36 Yeah this is my first vagina Please don't shoot us on sex night - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:05 Please don't shoot us on sex night All right You're going home every night - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:34 All right You're going home every night You why are you laughing - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:07 You why are you laughing Ow That came out of my penis - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:06 Ow That came out of my penis Your dick's out - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:05 Your dick's out You're late - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:08 You're late You're a good sheep farmer - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:15 You're a good sheep farmer Yeah I know that - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:03 Yeah I know that A very small bite That's it - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:11 A very small bite That's it There is something about connecting over mutual hatred - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:06 There is something about connecting over mutual hatred It's a weather experiment - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:17 It's a weather experiment I'm not the hero - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:10 I'm not the hero Just a little taste - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:04 Just a little taste People die at the fair - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:05 People die at the fair This is the square dance - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:16 This is the square dance No he's a fucking rail road builder - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:21 No he's a fucking rail road builder Sorry I killed your husband - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:18 Sorry I killed your husband That is our Mayor - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:29 That is our Mayor Louise My God The guy is one of the best shots around - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:11 Louise My God The guy is one of the best shots around Somebody bring me one of them white women - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:04 Somebody bring me one of them white women But I tell ya folks this telegraph machine That thing is nuts - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:11 But I tell ya folks this telegraph machine That thing is... Somebody's gonna get fucked up - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:05 Somebody's gonna get fucked up Class please welcome our graduation speaker - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:36 Class please welcome our graduation speaker These are all fuckers You look fantastic - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:47 These are all fuckers You look fantastic Take your hat off boy That's a dollar bill - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:04 Take your hat off boy That's a dollar bill Albert I know everything seems hopeless right now - A Million Ways to Die in the West 02:31 Albert I know everything seems hopeless right now All right challenge accepted - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:04 All right challenge accepted All right You're going home every night - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:47 All right You're going home every night But I tell ya folks this telegraph machine That thing is nuts - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:11 But I tell ya folks this telegraph machine That thing is... Class please welcome our graduation speaker - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:35 Class please welcome our graduation speaker Come on let's go - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:10 Come on let's go Hello - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:25 Hello Hey hey dude you really shouldn't drink and horse - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:06 Hey hey dude you really shouldn't drink and horse Hey sorry I killed your husband - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:16 Hey sorry I killed your husband I don't think you should leave tomorrow - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:36 I don't think you should leave tomorrow Louise My God The guy is one of the best shots around - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:11 Louise My God The guy is one of the best shots around Man I see kids everywhere with those stick hoops lately - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:15 Man I see kids everywhere with those stick hoops lately Me No I'm not the hero - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:10 Me No I'm not the hero My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:05 My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug No I fired a gun at the shooting gallery - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:10 No I fired a gun at the shooting gallery Ow That came out of my penis - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:06 Ow That came out of my penis People die at the fair - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:03 People die at the fair Please don't shoot us on sex night - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:05 Please don't shoot us on sex night So how did you guys meet - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:15 So how did you guys meet Take your hat off boy That's a dollar bill - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:05 Take your hat off boy That's a dollar bill That is our mayor - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:29 That is our mayor The last time somebody gave me one of these - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:06 The last time somebody gave me one of these There was a drowning and the Indians attacked - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:11 There was a drowning and the Indians attacked There is something about connecting over mutual hatred - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:07 There is something about connecting over mutual hatred Where'd you learn to shoot - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:08 Where'd you learn to shoot Yeah but you're not even a good sheep farmer Albert - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:18 Yeah but you're not even a good sheep farmer Albert You know there are a million ways to die in the West Clinch - A Million Ways to Die in the West 01:01 You know there are a million ways to die in the West Clinch You know what else can kill you - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:03 You know what else can kill you You why are you laughing - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:07 You why are you laughing Your dick's out - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:05 Your dick's out You're a good sheep farmer - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:15 You're a good sheep farmer You're late - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:09 You're late You're okay with your girlfriend screwing 15 different guys every day - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:10 You're okay with your girlfriend screwing 15 different...

Cast

Albert - Seth MacFarlane
Anna - Charlize Theron
Louise - Amanda Seyfried
Clinch - Liam Neeson
Edward - Giovanni Ribisi
Foy - Neil Patrick Harris
Ruth - Sarah Silverman
George Stark - Christopher Hagen
Cochise - Wes Studi
Old Prospector - Matt Clark
Lewis - Evan Jones
Ben - Aaron McPherson
Sheriff - Rex Linn
Charlie Blanche - Brett Rickaby
Millie - Alex Borstein
Dan - Ralph Garman
Pastor Wilson - John Aylward
Doctor Harper - Jay Patterson
Marcus Thornton - Amick Byram
Snake Oil Salesman - Dennis Haskins
Doc Brown - Christopher Lloyd
Abraham Lincoln - Gilbert Gottfried
Cowboy at Fair - Ewan McGregor
Dandy #1 - John Michael Higgins
Dandy #2 - Julius Sharpe
Vendor - Mike Miller
Cowboy Ardy - Ardy Brent Carlson
Guy at Fair - Alec Sulkin
Other Apache - Tatanka Means
Angry Cowboy - Ivan Brutsche
Elsie Stark - Jean Effron
Cowboy at Table - Bob Jesser
Pastor's Son - Dylan Kenin
Dirty Cowboy - Frank Spencer
6 Year Old Albert - Mike A. Salazar
Photographer - Jimmy Hart
Teacher - Joe Berryman
Cowboy #1 - Tait Fletcher
Ruth's Cowboy Client - Kevin Wiggins
Other Cowboy - Jackamoe Buzzell
Barn Dance Band - Tom Adler
Barn Dance Band - Gerry Carthy
Barn Dance Band - Zoltan Duo
Barn Dance Band - Allan K. Edgar
Barn Dance Band - Mark Ericksen
Barn Dance Band - Jack Klintworth
Barn Dance Band - Kit Murray
Barn Dance Band - Mark Nava
Barn Dance Band - Chris Smith
Barn Dancer - Kayla Armgardt
Barn Dancer - Susan Baker-Dillingham
Barn Dancer - Ashlee Carrasco
Barn Dancer - Stephanie Dyke
Barn Dancer - Emily Fine
Barn Dancer - Kevin Gallacher
Barn Dancer - Joseph Gonzales
Barn Dancer - Dominic Guerra
Barn Dancer - Jonathan Guise
Barn Dancer - Keith Kuhl
Barn Dancer - Marty Lawson
Barn Dancer - Jacob Maes
Barn Dancer - Lydia Cash
Barn Dancer - Kristy Medina
Barn Dancer - Sarah O'Gleby
Barn Dancer - Kelsey Paschich
Barn Dancer - Tessa Peterson
Barn Dancer - Andrew Pirozzi
Barn Dancer - Vladimir Conde Reche
Barn Dancer - Tracy Ritter
Barn Dancer - Robbie Rodriguez
Barn Dancer - Kelly Ruggiero
Barn Dancer - Darren Savage
Barn Dancer - Alex Michael Stoll
Barn Dancer - Maura Talley
Barn Dancer - Kimberly White
Barn Dancer - Charlie Williams
Barn Dancer - Giacomo Zafarano
Barn Dancer - Jeremy Hudson
Barn Dancer - Jonathan Prattes
Barn Dancer - Alex Wong
Townsperson - Kenn Ashe
12 Year Old Albert - Preston Bailey
Cowboy - Seth Bailey
Featured Extra - Christian Baste
Towns Girl - Bonnie Bell
Towns Girl - Sage Bell
Citizen of Stump - Todd Bethke
Cowboy in Bar Fight - Rupert Boneham
Prostitute - Avery Breyne-Cartwright
Strong Ice Man - Nathan Brimmer
Waiter - Steve Callaghan
Fair Patron - Kurt Capalbo
Shooting Gallery Bystander (asks about the dollar) - Rodney Carrington
Other Fair Girl - Claire Mackenzie Carter
Mexican Drunk - Phillip Casaus
Townsman - Paul Caster
Hoop Rolling Boy - Cruz Castillo
Female Passenger - Challen Cates
Townsman - Rich Chavez
Townsperson - Warren M. Christopher
Fair Kid - Asher Corbin
Fair Kid - Leedy Corbin
Woman in the Store - Kaley Cuoco
Townsman - Carter DuBois
Angry Cowboy - Hugh Elliot
Townsperson - Scott Esquibel
Townswoman - Cassandra Rochelle Fetters
Django - Jamie Foxx
Schoolgirl - Addison Fulton
Town's Boy - Christopher W. Garcia
Rancher Lady - Susie Gillespie
Apache Warrior - Jon J. Gonzalez
Fair Worker - Sean Helean
Fair Girl - Vivien Jane
Townsman - Jahan Khalili
Townswoman - Kelly Khun
Sexy Bar Girl - Chelsea Arielle Kibbee
Moustachery Customer - Bob Knowlton
The Coffin Guy - James E. Lane
Barn Dance Comedian - Bill Maher
Fairgoer - Jon McGarrah
Michael - Colton McPherson
Townswoman - Crystal Miller
Miner - Robb Moon
Townsperson - Denny O'Connor
Cowboy - Johnny Otto
Townsmen - Martin Palmer
Photo Family - Bailey Passeno
Hoop Rolling Boy - Maximus A. Passeno
Townsman - Michael Neal Powell
Man with Hat #2 - Jaime Powers
Exotic Bird & Reptile Man - Giuseppe Quinn
Wild Girl - Allyn Rachel
Man Killed by Clinch in Bar - Ryan Reynolds
Townsperson - James Rishe
Mexican Townsman - Isaiah Rodriguez
Townswoman - Rachel Katherine Ross
Moustachery Attendant - Marcos Roybal
Meat Vendor - Kiko Sanchez
Townswoman - Brittney Scavo
Bar Keeper - Mathew Shoemaker
12 Year Old Girl - Belle Shouse
Chinese Girl - Catherine Shu
Dream Voice - Patrick Stewart
Townsman - Michael E. Stogner
Townsman - David D. Taylor
Acrobat Girl - Ciera Thompson
Saloon Girl - Kendra Tuthill
Mother of James Addison - Debbie Waters
Townsman - Kirk Waters
Waiter - Sean Weimorts
Bartender - Kevin Wester
Hotel Clerk - Barry R. White
Prostitute - Mae Whitman
Merchant - Richard Daniel Williams
Angry Cowboy - Christophe Zajac-Denek