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There ain't no tooth fairy, idiot!
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A Million Ways to Die in the West

There ain't no tooth fairy, idiot! Now, clean up that horse shit!

There ain't no tooth fairy, idiot! Now, clean up that horse shit!

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.751
There ain't no tooth fairy idiot
00:00:02.835 --> 00:00:04.795
Now clean up that horse shit
Available in 2 languages
Duration
6 seconds
Views
34
Timestamp in Movie
01:56:41
Uploaded
Mar 10, 2026
Genres
comedy, western
Production
RGB Media,Fuzzy Door Productions,MRC,Bluegrass Films

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Movie Summary

As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.
Albert, I think I lost my essay. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:33
Albert, I think I lost my essay.
Class please welcome our graduation speakerPresident Abraham LincolnHiya shmucksFour score and seven years agoI was brokejust like youBut now I'm the presidentand I'm so fucking richI can have all the licorice I wantWhere's my speaking feeI don't think - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:36
Class please welcome our graduation speakerPresident Abraham...
Stop! Get back here! Shit, not again. Get that son of a bitch! - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:08
Stop! Get back here! Shit, not again. Get that son of a...
You're an idiot. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:09
You're an idiot.
Pardon me, Albert. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:09
Pardon me, Albert.
You may not have the looks. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:15
You may not have the looks.
We are the guardians of the future. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:07
We are the guardians of the future.
All right, sweetheart. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:21
All right, sweetheart.
Let her go, Clinch. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:55
Let her go, Clinch.
Good boy. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:11
Good boy.
Where'd you learn to shootYour wifeOh snap - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:07
Where'd you learn to shootYour wifeOh snap
You know there are a million ways to die in the West ClinchThere's uh famine disease gunfightsAnd uh wild animals You know like snakesAnd you know the funny thing isyou don't even have to get bittenAll you need is a little bit of the venomintroduced into - A Million Ways to Die in the West 01:00
You know there are a million ways to die in the West...
Hey sorry I killed your husbandOh God That was never gonna work out anywayHe's Methodist I'm half JewishAre you You are NoOh thank GodYou're not really Arabic are youNo no noOh thank God Because I was like Ah kill meI know right No Oh my God - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:18
Hey sorry I killed your husbandOh God That was never gonna...
So, you killed Clinch Leatherwood, the deadliest gunman on the frontier. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:18
So, you killed Clinch Leatherwood, the deadliest gunman on...
Step right up, folks. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:10
Step right up, folks.
What the fuck? - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:06
What the fuck?
Somebody bring me one of them white women - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:04
Somebody bring me one of them white women