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This is never gonna work
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A Million Ways to Die in the West

This is never gonna work. This is not working. It's gonna work. It's gonna work and Louise...

This is never gonna work. This is not working. It's gonna work. It's gonna work and Louise isgonna come running back to you. How the hell do you getthese things out? I'm sitting there jerking that thing off

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.989
This is never gonna work
00:00:02.085 --> 00:00:03.878
This is not working It's gonna work
00:00:03.962 --> 00:00:06.214
It's gonna work and Louise is gonna come running back to you
00:00:06.339 --> 00:00:08.716
How the hell do you get these things out
00:00:08.008 --> 00:00:11.469
I'm sitting there jerking that thing off
Available in 6 languages
Duration
13 seconds
Views
53
Timestamp in Movie
01:03:25
Uploaded
Mar 10, 2026
Genres
comedy, western
Production
RGB Media,Fuzzy Door Productions,MRC,Bluegrass Films

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Movie Summary

As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.
You're a good sheep farmerOh my God please I suck at sheepLouise was right I can't keep track of themThere was a sheep in the whorehouse last weekReally YeahWandered in there and then when I went to pick it upsomehow it had made 20 - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:15
You're a good sheep farmerOh my God please I suck at...
But, you know, thank you anyway for what you said. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:16
But, you know, thank you anyway for what you said.
Oh! Hey! There we go! See? There! All righty. That's one. So, all I gotta do is get Foy to let me sh - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:16
Oh! Hey! There we go! See? There! All righty. That's...
Hey! Yes! Oh! God damn it, Albert! No more friends! - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:10
Hey! Yes! Oh! God damn it, Albert! No more friends!
My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:05
My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug
The last time somebody gave me one of theseI became convinced that prairie dogs could read my mind - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:06
The last time somebody gave me one of theseI became...
A very small bite That's it - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:11
A very small bite That's it
This is really weird. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:32
This is really weird.
There's something wrong with my swallowing. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:19
There's something wrong with my swallowing.
John, this tree didn't fall down. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:08
John, this tree didn't fall down.
Now, this can only end well for one of us. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:14
Now, this can only end well for one of us.
Oh. Oh, my God. Ten thousand in gold bullion. We'll kindly relieve the Wells Fargo company of this h - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:18
Oh. Oh, my God. Ten thousand in gold bullion. We'll...
That was a big mistake. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:22
That was a big mistake.
Like I said, one warning. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:30
Like I said, one warning.
HeyWowYou look amazingAnd maybe a little uncomfortableOh shitI'm totally overdressed aren't INoI've never done formal beforeAnd the lady at the boutique told me to buy thisand no one else is wearing thisWho cares whatThese are all fuckers You look - A Million Ways to Die in the West 01:11
HeyWowYou look amazingAnd maybe a little uncomfortableOh...
Well, at the very least, this will be a good way to spend my last night alive, right? - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:23
Well, at the very least, this will be a good way to spend my...
Yeah, okay. - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:06
Yeah, okay.
But I tell ya folks this telegraph machine That thing is nutsI mean sure it's faster than the Pony Expressbut what good is it if you can't send a picture of your dick - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:11
But I tell ya folks this telegraph machine That thing is...
Come on let's goNo no no I suck at dancingNo one will noticeHow will they not noticeBecause you suck at everything - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:09
Come on let's goNo no no I suck at dancingNo one will...
Ready for weird, stiff, traditional frontier dancing? - A Million Ways to Die in the West 00:07
Ready for weird, stiff, traditional frontier dancing?