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Joey: We kidnapped a fucking vampire.
Sammy: A ballerina vampire.
Peter: Someone has been messing with us ever since we got here. Right? It's got to be, uh, some kind of trick.
Joey: I don't know anyone that could pull off a trick like that. Do you?
Sammy: I feel sick.
Peter: At least Valdez isn't in here.
Frank: The fucking girl is Valdez, you moron.
Peter: I thought her name was Abigail.
Frank: She isn't... . There isn't a... Jesus fucking Christ.
Joey: Shit. We got to get out of here. There's got to be another way.
Frank: No, I checked all the other doors. This is some kind of magnetically sealed locks and these shutters are two inches thick. You think you could hack the locks?
Sammy: With what internet?
Frank: I don't know. You-you can't do it manually?
Sammy: Well, even if I could, I don't have any equipment. You know, there's got to be, like, a control room or something.
Joey: Okay. What do we know about vampires?
Peter: Th-That they're not real.
Sammy: What are we talking about, like Anne Rice or True Blood, you know, Twilight? Very different kind of vampires.
Joey: Okay, we know they feed off blood.
Sammy: We're really doing this right now?
Joey: They can turn other people into vampires.
Sammy: Oh. Okay, fuck it. Um, they can turn into bats and stuff like that.
Frank: Mind control, they make you do shit.
Joey: They don't have a reflection.
Peter: Not listening to this.
Joey: Okay, how do we kill a vampire?
Frank: Garlic.
Joey: A stake through the heart.
Frank: Crucifixes.
Sammy: Holy water.
Frank: Oh, you're a fucking priest now?
Sammy: Daylight is a big one.
Frank: Oh, that's a good one, but it's, mm, 3:30 in the fucking morning.
Peter: Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut the fuck up!
[Frank grabs him by the neck]
Frank: Hey, dum-dum, we got a real fucking situation here. So I don't give a shit what you think. Either you're helping us, or you're 270 pounds of dead weight. Which is it?
Peter: Helping.
[Takes Frank's hand off of his neck]
Peter: Just don't do that again.
Frank: There's pool cues in the game room. Go sharpen 'em into stakes.
Peter: Okay.
Frank: You, go check the kitchen for garlic.
Sammy: Alone.
Frank: Yes alone
Sammy: A ballerina vampire.
Peter: Someone has been messing with us ever since we got here. Right? It's got to be, uh, some kind of trick.
Joey: I don't know anyone that could pull off a trick like that. Do you?
Sammy: I feel sick.
Peter: At least Valdez isn't in here.
Frank: The fucking girl is Valdez, you moron.
Peter: I thought her name was Abigail.
Frank: She isn't... . There isn't a... Jesus fucking Christ.
Joey: Shit. We got to get out of here. There's got to be another way.
Frank: No, I checked all the other doors. This is some kind of magnetically sealed locks and these shutters are two inches thick. You think you could hack the locks?
Sammy: With what internet?
Frank: I don't know. You-you can't do it manually?
Sammy: Well, even if I could, I don't have any equipment. You know, there's got to be, like, a control room or something.
Joey: Okay. What do we know about vampires?
Peter: Th-That they're not real.
Sammy: What are we talking about, like Anne Rice or True Blood, you know, Twilight? Very different kind of vampires.
Joey: Okay, we know they feed off blood.
Sammy: We're really doing this right now?
Joey: They can turn other people into vampires.
Sammy: Oh. Okay, fuck it. Um, they can turn into bats and stuff like that.
Frank: Mind control, they make you do shit.
Joey: They don't have a reflection.
Peter: Not listening to this.
Joey: Okay, how do we kill a vampire?
Frank: Garlic.
Joey: A stake through the heart.
Frank: Crucifixes.
Sammy: Holy water.
Frank: Oh, you're a fucking priest now?
Sammy: Daylight is a big one.
Frank: Oh, that's a good one, but it's, mm, 3:30 in the fucking morning.
Peter: Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut the fuck up!
[Frank grabs him by the neck]
Frank: Hey, dum-dum, we got a real fucking situation here. So I don't give a shit what you think. Either you're helping us, or you're 270 pounds of dead weight. Which is it?
Peter: Helping.
[Takes Frank's hand off of his neck]
Peter: Just don't do that again.
Frank: There's pool cues in the game room. Go sharpen 'em into stakes.
Peter: Okay.
Frank: You, go check the kitchen for garlic.
Sammy: Alone.
Frank: Yes alone
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.097
We kidnapped a fucking vampire
00:00:03.836 --> 00:00:05.237
A ballerina vampire
00:00:05.372 --> 00:00:07.037
Someone has been messing with us ever since we got here
00:00:07.505 --> 00:00:10.012
Right It's got to be uh some kind of trick
00:00:10.148 --> 00:00:11.809
I don't know anyone that could pull off a trick like that
00:00:11.944 --> 00:00:13.482
Do you I feel sick
00:00:13.618 --> 00:00:15.112
At least Valdez isn't in here
00:00:15.247 --> 00:00:17.618
The fucking girl is Valdez you moron
00:00:17.753 --> 00:00:18.983
I thought her name was Abigail
00:00:19.118 --> 00:00:20.789
She isn't There isn't a
00:00:20.925 --> 00:00:23.555
Jesus fucking Christ
00:00:26.664 --> 00:00:28.999
Shit We got to get out of here
00:00:28.193 --> 00:00:29.029
There's got to be another way
00:00:29.425 --> 00:00:30.965
No I checked all the other doors
00:00:31.001 --> 00:00:32.036
These are some kind of magnetically sealed locks
00:00:32.496 --> 00:00:33.899
and these shutters are two inches thick
00:00:34.999 --> 00:00:35.869
You think you can hack the locks
00:00:36.026 --> 00:00:37.671
With what Internet I don't know
00:00:37.807 --> 00:00:39.305
You you can't do it manually
00:00:39.441 --> 00:00:40.975
Well even if I could I don't have any equipment
00:00:41.111 --> 00:00:42.574
You know there's got to be like a control room
00:00:42.709 --> 00:00:43.811
or something
00:00:43.946 --> 00:00:47.002
Okay What do we know about vampires
00:00:47.178 --> 00:00:48.376
Th That they're not real
00:00:48.512 --> 00:00:49.949
What are we talking about like Anne Rice
00:00:50.001 --> 00:00:51.751
or True Blood you know Twilight
00:00:51.886 --> 00:00:53.622
Very different kind of vampires
00:00:53.757 --> 00:00:54.921
Okay we know they feed off blood
00:00:55.997 --> 00:00:56.186
We're really doing this right now
00:00:56.322 --> 00:00:57.457
They can turn other people into vampires
00:00:57.593 --> 00:00:58.861
Oh Okay fuck it
00:00:58.996 --> 00:01:00.926
Um they can turn into bats and stuff like that
00:01:01.998 --> 00:01:02.663
Mind control they make you do shit
00:01:02.799 --> 00:01:03.893
They don't have a reflection
00:01:04.006 --> 00:01:05.994
Not listening to this
00:01:05.229 --> 00:01:06.461
Okay how do we kill a vampire
00:01:06.596 --> 00:01:08.013
Garlic A stake through the heart
00:01:08.001 --> 00:01:09.464
Crucifixes Holy water
00:01:09.599 --> 00:01:11.017
Oh you're a fucking priest now
00:01:11.306 --> 00:01:13.006
Daylight is a big one Oh that's a good one
00:01:13.175 --> 00:01:15.014
but it's mm 3 30 in the fucking morning
00:01:15.001 --> 00:01:18.002
Shut up Shut up Shut up Shut the fuck up
00:01:18.001 --> 00:01:21.997
Hey dum dum we got a real fucking situation here
00:01:21.182 --> 00:01:23.001
So I don't give a shit what you think
00:01:23.313 --> 00:01:24.001
Either you're helping us
00:01:25.001 --> 00:01:27.288
or you're 270 pounds of dead weight
00:01:27.001 --> 00:01:29.553
Which is it
00:01:29.999 --> 00:01:32.996
Helping
00:01:34.002 --> 00:01:36.261
Just don't do that again
00:01:37.902 --> 00:01:39.161
There's pool cues in the game room
00:01:39.001 --> 00:01:41.233
Go sharpen 'em into stakes
00:01:43.034 --> 00:01:45.105
Okay
00:01:47.273 --> 00:01:49.342
You go check the kitchen for garlic
00:01:49.999 --> 00:01:50.999
Alone
00:01:50.613 --> 00:01:52.376
Yes alone Yep
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Movie Summary
After a group of criminals kidnap the ballerina daughter of a powerful underworld figure, they retreat to an isolated mansion, unaware that they're locked inside with no normal little girl.
