Clips with Ashton Kutcher

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No Strings Attached I'm gonna call every girl in my phoneuntil someone agrees to have sex with meThat's strong Toast to that ToastThat is a terrible self destructive planand we're behind you a hundred percent - No Strings Attached 00:12
I'm gonna call every girl in my phoneuntil someone...
No Strings Attached Listen I want you to know thatI respect youThank youNormally I would remember the name of someone that I'veWhat Oh my GodDid you think we had sex Oh my God we did not have sexHey Adam You left your socks in my roomDid I You didDid I by chance leave my - No Strings Attached 00:35
Listen I want you to know thatI respect youThank youNormally...
No Strings Attached Did I just pass out on your couch NoNo then you did this thing It waslike a danceDance Yeah likeI shook my dick at you YeahOh shit I'm sorryNo no it was it was excitingIt was like you were cheering while you were doing itYou were like Look at my dickDid - No Strings Attached 00:44
Did I just pass out on your couch NoNo then you did this...
No Strings Attached It was like you were cheering while you were doing it - No Strings Attached 00:17
It was like you were cheering while you were doing it
No Strings Attached Did you look at it Yeah I lookedIt was nice You have a really nice penisNice It seems kind of like carefreeYeah Yeah - No Strings Attached 00:13
Did you look at it Yeah I lookedIt was nice You have a...
No Strings Attached Congrats For what Having sex with youYeah You did a good job so I thought you deserved a balloon - No Strings Attached 00:11
Congrats For what Having sex with youYeah You did a good job...
No Strings Attached So what's up with not calling me backI'm not good at this stuff At what talkingYeah talking Communicating Relationship stuffIt's just This isIf we were in a relationshipI'd become a weird scary version of myself andMy throat starts constricting the walls - No Strings Attached 00:25
So what's up with not calling me backI'm not good...
No Strings Attached Did you have sex with some girl and give her a balloonCan we not tell everyone - No Strings Attached 00:09
Did you have sex with some girl and give her a balloonCan we...
No Strings Attached OK You know I don't want to freak you out butI'd love to hang out with you in the daytime sometimeIt's not really possible I have no timeI work 80 hours a week doing 36 hour shiftsWhat I need is someone who's gonna be in my bed at 2amwho I don't have to - No Strings Attached 01:03
OK You know I don't want to freak you out butI'd...
No Strings Attached Don't list me as your emergency contact I won't comeIsn't that against your Hippocratic oathYeah YeahI'd let you die Oh yeah - No Strings Attached 00:10
Don't list me as your emergency contact I won't...
No Strings Attached Don't call my penis cuteEven if it's dressed up like a Care Bearand it's giving you a Care StareDon't dress up your penis Ever - No Strings Attached 00:11
Don't call my penis cuteEven if it's dressed up...
No Strings Attached HelloHey it's AdamAre you kidding meGo awayI've got cupcakes - No Strings Attached 00:14
HelloHey it's AdamAre you kidding meGo awayI've...
No Strings Attached I understand what's going on You're all on the same cycleThis is very excitingYour uterine walls will be shedding for the next three to five daysNice memorization Did you Google thatI may haveBecause you're women And I think that's a beautiful thingIt's - No Strings Attached 00:57
I understand what's going on You're all on the...
No Strings Attached AdamWhatWe fell asleep We were spooningWe were YeahAnd we were spooning with our clothes onwhich is like ten times worse - No Strings Attached 00:22
AdamWhatWe fell asleep We were spooningWe were YeahAnd we...
No Strings Attached She is so good at impressionsDo an impression then Yes do an impressionAll right guess who this isDadDad Oh my God that's so cuteI don't know Come onWhere are you I don't knowWhere are you Dad It's NemoYes YeahNemo AmazingI don't know why I didn't get - No Strings Attached 00:48
She is so good at impressionsDo an impression then Yes do an...
No Strings Attached Adam what's going on What happenedHe sprained his wrist punching a wallYou texted me that you were dyingIt really hurtI gave him some hydrocodone for the night It's a very strong painkillerYou might want to have Dr Kurtzman here drive you homeAnd here is - No Strings Attached 00:53
Adam what's going on What happenedHe sprained his wrist...
No Strings Attached My dad invited me to dinnerand he's bringing VanessaYou have to come No I don'tI just worked 14 hours I'm not gonna meet your parentsYou know what Just help meThese are really powerful painkillers I can't feel anythingFeel thatYeah I felt that - No Strings Attached 00:31
My dad invited me to dinnerand he's bringing VanessaYou...
No Strings Attached How long have you two been togetherOh we're notWe're sex friends Yeah Yes we areYeah friends with benefits Fuck buddiesGreat Scott - No Strings Attached 00:17
How long have you two been togetherOh we're...
No Strings Attached Hey WhatThank you for what you did back at the restaurantGo on a date with meYou're heavily sedatedCome on it's it's one date Just do itWhy So I can wear makeup and act perfect all nightYeahI'll pick you up and we can talk about our favorite booksand our - No Strings Attached 00:57
Hey WhatThank you for what you did back at the restaurantGo...
No Strings Attached Come on it's it's one date Just do itWhy So I can wear makeup and act perfect all night - No Strings Attached 00:09
Come on it's it's one date Just do itWhy So I can...
No Strings Attached I can't keep doing thisI'm not gonna see you againI knowThat makes senseBye - No Strings Attached 00:26
I can't keep doing thisI'm not gonna see you...
No Strings Attached HelloHiIt's Emma KurtzmanFrom Camp WeehawkenYes What is itSo my sister is getting married in Santa Barbara tomorrow andI don't know I heard your show is tonight CongratulationsThank youI know this is random I justI miss you I miss you so muchOKI don't - No Strings Attached 01:39
HelloHiIt's Emma KurtzmanFrom Camp WeehawkenYes What is...
No Strings Attached When you're married and you do blowtry to stay away from women who want to fuck youEven ugly womenBlow is blind Adam Blow is blindYou're an assholeBut you're notYou got a good heart Adam Try to keep it - No Strings Attached 00:26
When you're married and you do blowtry to stay away...
No Strings Attached Hey You can't call me and tell me that you miss meI don't want to have that conversation on the phoneSo you can't text me and you can't e mail meand you can't write on my wallLike if you really miss me you need to grow upand get in your car and come and - No Strings Attached 00:24
Hey You can't call me and tell me that you miss meI...
No Strings Attached Hey You can't call me and tell me that you miss me - No Strings Attached 00:20
Hey You can't call me and tell me that you miss me
No Strings Attached And I don't care if you think it's too late I'm telling you anyway - No Strings Attached 00:05
And I don't care if you think it's too late...
No Strings Attached You eat like a baby dinosaur You don't even chew - No Strings Attached 00:06
You eat like a baby dinosaur You don't even chew
Jobs Nobody wants to buy a computer Nobody - Jobs 00:16
Nobody wants to buy a computer Nobody
Jobs What about Enterprise Computers - Jobs 00:14
What about Enterprise Computers
Jobs It's gotta be straighter These have to be more symmetrical - Jobs 00:06
It's gotta be straighter These have to be more...
Jobs We can't afford to pay three people right now - Jobs 00:20
We can't afford to pay three people right now
Jobs All right Steve - Jobs 00:24
All right Steve
Jobs Welcome to Apple Computer - Jobs 00:14
Welcome to Apple Computer
Jobs We have something really special to share with you today - Jobs 00:34
We have something really special to share with you today
Jobs Get your shit and get out What wait - Jobs 00:28
Get your shit and get out What wait
Jobs I just wanted to be one of the guys - Jobs 00:34
I just wanted to be one of the guys
Jobs So this is the Macintosh team - Jobs 00:10
So this is the Macintosh team
Jobs Andy Hertzfeld - Jobs 00:05
Andy Hertzfeld
Jobs I don't ever want to hear you tell me that you can't make it faster - Jobs 00:08
I don't ever want to hear you tell me that you...
Jobs It's great - Jobs 00:11
It's great
Jobs What the hell makes you think you can get him - Jobs 00:15
What the hell makes you think you can get him
Jobs Let me make this perfectly clear Bill - Jobs 00:20
Let me make this perfectly clear Bill
Jobs John you're awfully quiet - Jobs 00:26
John you're awfully quiet
Jobs Steve what can I do to convince you to come back - Jobs 00:10
Steve what can I do to convince you to come back
Jobs We're glad you're back - Jobs 00:08
We're glad you're back
Jobs Last week an unidentified investor - Jobs 00:21
Last week an unidentified investor
Jobs If you want to get back what you lost this is the time - Jobs 00:11
If you want to get back what you lost this is the time
Jobs If you want to get back what you lost this is the time - Jobs 00:11
If you want to get back what you lost this is the time
Jobs And we're gonna kill every other project - Jobs 00:12
And we're gonna kill every other project
Jobs When you grow up you tend to get told - Jobs 00:38
When you grow up you tend to get told
Jobs What are we gonna do now - Jobs 00:15
What are we gonna do now
Jobs The round pegs in the square holes - Jobs 00:40
The round pegs in the square holes
The Ranch S01 • E08 What in the fuck is almond milk - The Ranch 00:13
What in the fuck is almond milk