Clips with Graham Chapman

At Last the 1948 Show S01 • E04 Well that's splendid Do I have to be Doris sir - At Last the 1948 Show 00:14
Well that's splendid Do I have to be Doris sir
Monty Python's Flying... S03 • E09 My first is in glasgow but not in spain - Monty Python's Flying Circus 00:15
My first is in glasgow but not in spain
The Magic Christian To make you a very interesting offer - The Magic Christian 00:12
To make you a very interesting offer
Monty Python and the Holy... Who goes thereIt is I Arthur Son of Uther Pendragon from the castle of CamelotKing of the Britons defeater of the SaxonsSovereign of all EnglandPull the other oneI am and this is my trusty servant PatsyWe have ridden the length of the land in search of - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 01:40
Who goes thereIt is I Arthur Son of Uther Pendragon from the...
Monty Python and the Holy... Please Am I rightI'm not interested It could be carried by an African swallowOh yes An African swallow maybe Not a European swallow That's my point - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:14
Please Am I rightI'm not interested It could be carried...
Monty Python and the Holy... Old woman ManMan Sorry What knight lives in that castle over thereI'm 37 WhatI'm 37 I'm not old I can't just call you manYou could say Dennis I didn't know you were called DennisYou didn't bother to find outI did say sorry about the old woman but from - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:38
Old woman ManMan Sorry What knight lives in that castle over...
Monty Python and the Holy... How do you doHow do you do good lady I am Arthur King of the BritonsWhose castle is that King of the whoThe Britons Who are the BritonsWe all are We're all Britons And I am your kingDidn't know we had a king I thought we were an autonomous - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 01:02
How do you doHow do you do good lady I am Arthur King of the...
Monty Python and the Holy... I am your king I didn't vote for youYou don't vote for kings How did you become king thenThe Lady of the Lake her arm clad in the purest shimmering samiteheld aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the watersignifying by divine providence that I Arthur was to - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:37
I am your king I didn't vote for youYou don't vote...
Monty Python and the Holy... Shut up See the violence inherent in the systemHelp I'm being repressed Bloody peasantWhat a giveaway Did you hear thatThat's what I'm on about Did you see him repressing me - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:14
Shut up See the violence inherent in the systemHelp I'm...
Monty Python and the Holy... You fight with the strength of many men Sir KnightI am Arthur King of the BritonsI seek the finest and bravest knights in the land to join me in CamelotYou have proved yourself worthy Will you join meYou make me sad So be it Come PatsyNone shall passWhat - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 02:06
You fight with the strength of many men Sir KnightI am...
Monty Python and the Holy... Look you stupid bastard You've got no arms leftYes I have LookJust a flesh wound - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:08
Look you stupid bastard You've got no arms leftYes I...
Monty Python and the Holy... Right I'll do you for that You'll whatCome here What are you going to do Bleed on meI am invincible You're a loony - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:10
Right I'll do you for that You'll whatCome here...
Monty Python and the Holy... Quiet There are ways of telling whether she is a witchAre there What are they Tell us Do they hurtTell me what do you do with witchesBurn themWhat do you burn apart from witches More witchesWood So why do witches burn'Cause they're made of wood GoodSo how - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 01:40
Quiet There are ways of telling whether she is a witchAre...
Monty Python and the Holy... That my liege is how we know the Earth to be banana shapedThis new learning amazes me Sir BedevereExplain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:12
That my liege is how we know the Earth to be banana...
Monty Python and the Holy... Certainly sir Look my liegeCamelot CamelotCamelot It's only a model - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:12
Certainly sir Look my liegeCamelot CamelotCamelot It's...
Monty Python and the Holy... What are you doing now I'm averting my eyes Oh LordDon't It's like those miserable psalms They're so depressingNow knock it off Yes Lord - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:11
What are you doing now I'm averting my eyes Oh...
Monty Python and the Holy... Right Arthur King of the BritonsYour knights of the Round Table shall have a taskto make them an example in these dark timesGood idea Oh Lord Course it's a good idea - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:14
Right Arthur King of the BritonsYour knights of the Round...
Monty Python and the Holy... Go and tell your master that we have been charged by Godwith a sacred quest If he will give us food and shelter for the nighthe can join us in our quest for the Holy GrailWell I'll ask him but I don't think he'll be very keenHe's already got one you - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:29
Go and tell your master that we have been charged by Godwith...
Monty Python and the Holy... Can we come up and have a look Of course not You are English typesWell what are you then I'm FrenchWhy do you think I have this outrageous accent you silly kingWhat are you doing in England Mind your own business - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:18
Can we come up and have a look Of course not You are English...
Monty Python and the Holy... Jesus Christ - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:03
Jesus Christ
Monty Python and the Holy... What happens nowWell now Lancelot Galahad and I wait until nightfalland then leap out of the rabbit taking the French by surpriseNot only by surprise but totally unarmedWho leaps outLancelot Galahad and Ileap out of the rabbitLook If we built this large - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:33
What happens nowWell now Lancelot Galahad and I wait until...
Monty Python and the Holy... Run away - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:04
Run away
Monty Python and the Holy... Knights of Ni you are just and fairWe will return with a shrubbery One that looks niceOf course And not too expensive - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:09
Knights of Ni you are just and fairWe will return with a...
Monty Python and the Holy... Let us taunt it - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:12
Let us taunt it
Monty Python and the Holy... Who are you - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:07
Who are you
Monty Python and the Holy... Are you saying Ni to that old womanYesWhat sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladiesThere is a pestilence upon this land Nothing is sacredEven those who arrange shrubberies are under considerable economic stressat this - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:33
Are you saying Ni to that old womanYesWhat sad times are...
Monty Python and the Holy... What is this test knights who until recently said NiFirstly you must findanother shrubberyNot another shrubberyThen you must bring it here beside this shrubberyHigher so you get the two level effect with a path going down the middle - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:22
What is this test knights who until recently said NiFirstly...
Monty Python and the Holy... Cut down a tree with a herring It can't be doneDon't say that word What wordI cannot tell Suffice to sayit's one of the words the knights of Ni cannot hearHow can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it isHe did it again What IsNo not is You - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:23
Cut down a tree with a herring It can't be...
Monty Python and the Holy... What manner of man are you that can summon up firewithout flint or tinder I am an enchanterBy what name are you known There are some who call me - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:16
What manner of man are you that can summon up firewithout...
Monty Python and the Holy... But follow only if ye be men of valorFor the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creatureso foul so cruelthat no man yet has fought with it and livedBones of full 50 men lie strewn about its lairSo brave knights if you do doubt your courageor your - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:41
But follow only if ye be men of valorFor the entrance to...
Monty Python and the Holy... There he isWhere ThereWhat behind the rabbit It is the rabbitYou silly sod WhatYou got us all worked upThat's no ordinary rabbitThat's the most foul cruel and bad tempered rodent you ever set eyes onYou tit I soiled my armor I was so scaredLook that - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:54
There he isWhere ThereWhat behind the rabbit It is the...
Monty Python and the Holy... We better not risk another frontal assault that rabbit's dynamite - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:06
We better not risk another frontal assault that...
Monty Python and the Holy... Would it help to confuse it if we run away moreShut up and change your armor Let us taunt it - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:08
Would it help to confuse it if we run away moreShut up and...
Monty Python and the Holy... How does itHow does it workI know not my liege Consult the Book of ArmamentsArmaments 2 9 21And St Attila raised the hand grenade up on high saying'O Lord bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest'blow thine enemies to tiny bits in thy mercy - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 01:34
How does itHow does it workI know not my liege Consult the...
Monty Python and the Holy... Of course What does it sayIt reads Here may be foundthe last words of Joseph of Arimathea'He who is valiant and pure of spirit'may find the Holy Grail'in the Castle of Aaargh 'WhatThe Castle of AaarghWhat is thatHe must have died while carving itCome on - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 01:22
Of course What does it sayIt reads Here may be foundthe last...
Monty Python and the Holy... StopWho would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions threeEre the other side he seeAsk me the questions bridgekeeper I'm not afraidWhat is your name My name is Sir Lancelot of CamelotWhat is your questTo seek the Holy GrailWhat is your - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 02:10
StopWho would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these...
Monty Python and the Holy... Almighty Godwe thank thee that thou hast vouchsafed to us the most holyJesus ChristHello stuffy English knightsand Monsieur Arthur King who has the brain of a duck you knowSo we French fellows outwit you a second timeHow dare you profane this place with - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:43
Almighty Godwe thank thee that thou hast vouchsafed to us...
Monty Python and the Holy... How dare you profane this place with your presence - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:05
How dare you profane this place with your presence
Monty Python and the Holy... In the name of the Lordwe demand entrance to this sacred castleNo chance English bed wetting typesI burst my pimples at you and call your door opening request a silly thingYou tiny brained wipers of other people's bottoms - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:19
In the name of the Lordwe demand entrance to this sacred...
Monty Python and the Holy... Walk away just ignore them - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 00:04
Walk away just ignore them
Monty Python and the Holy... We shall attack at once Yes my liegeStand by for attackFrench personsToday the blood of many a valiant knight shall be avengedIn the name of God we shall not stop our fighttill each one of you lies dead and the Holy Grailreturns to those whom God has - Monty Python and the Holy Grail 02:20
We shall attack at once Yes my liegeStand by for...
Life of Brian What We are three wise menWell what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at 2 00 in the morningThat doesn't sound very wise to me - Life of Brian 00:11
What We are three wise menWell what are you doing creeping...
Life of Brian Hmm What star sign is heWell Capricorn Capricorn eh What are they likeHe is the Son of God our MessiahKing of the JewsThat's Capricorn is it No that's just himOh I was gonna say otherwise there would be a lot of them - Life of Brian 00:21
Hmm What star sign is heWell Capricorn Capricorn eh What are...
Yellowbeard Yes Twenty years ago today you were sentenced to jail - Yellowbeard 00:17
Yes Twenty years ago today you were sentenced to jail
Yellowbeard Where's the map What map - Yellowbeard 00:13
Where's the map What map
Yellowbeard When little Dan came along Who's Dan - Yellowbeard 00:09
When little Dan came along Who's Dan
Yellowbeard When little Dan was two minutes old - Yellowbeard 00:22
When little Dan was two minutes old
Yellowbeard Where's my pirating outfit - Yellowbeard 00:05
Where's my pirating outfit
Yellowbeard And needed a change of clothing I'm sure I killed the last one I raped - Yellowbeard 00:14
And needed a change of clothing I'm sure I killed the...
Yellowbeard So he can find the treasure Over my dead body - Yellowbeard 00:09
So he can find the treasure Over my dead body
Yellowbeard Look if you cut my head off it'll start to putrefy - Yellowbeard 00:11
Look if you cut my head off it'll start to putrefy
Yellowbeard Everyone will be following you - Yellowbeard 00:08
Everyone will be following you
Yellowbeard If you're my son prove it Kill this stupid old bugger - Yellowbeard 00:23
If you're my son prove it Kill this stupid old bugger
Yellowbeard But I'll kill anyone that gets in the way of me killing anyone - Yellowbeard 00:05
But I'll kill anyone that gets in the way of me killing...
Yellowbeard That's Yellowbeard I'm in disguise you stupid tart - Yellowbeard 00:06
That's Yellowbeard I'm in disguise you stupid tart
Yellowbeard You're all going after the treasure Treasure No - Yellowbeard 00:09
You're all going after the treasure Treasure No
Yellowbeard Luncheon duty - Yellowbeard 00:19
Luncheon duty
Yellowbeard If you drink enough of it Oh that explains it - Yellowbeard 00:14
If you drink enough of it Oh that explains it
Yellowbeard Father we thought you were dead - Yellowbeard 00:18
Father we thought you were dead
Yellowbeard Been out raping lad Nice work lad - Yellowbeard 00:14
Been out raping lad Nice work lad
Yellowbeard She couldn't be your mother No woman ever slept with me and lived - Yellowbeard 00:05
She couldn't be your mother No woman ever slept with me...
Yellowbeard What's happened to Daddy I killed him - Yellowbeard 00:10
What's happened to Daddy I killed him
Yellowbeard She's yours is she then Dan - Yellowbeard 00:06
She's yours is she then Dan
Yellowbeard Oh bugger me you've sodded the whole thing up - Yellowbeard 00:09
Oh bugger me you've sodded the whole thing up
Yellowbeard I had to Betraying's all part of pirating - Yellowbeard 00:16
I had to Betraying's all part of pirating
Yellowbeard With your head on my shoulders we can wreck civilization - Yellowbeard 00:06
With your head on my shoulders we can wreck civilization
Yellowbeard You are a Yellowbeard What - Yellowbeard 00:23
You are a Yellowbeard What