Clips with Jack Albertson

Lover Come Back Makes me sick we're going home next week - Lover Come Back 00:09
Makes me sick we're going home next week
Lover Come Back Let's face it Charlie Either you've got it or you haven't - Lover Come Back 00:08
Let's face it Charlie Either you've got it or you...
Lover Come Back I wonder why he grew the beard - Lover Come Back 00:39
I wonder why he grew the beard
Lover Come Back He's the last guy in the world I woulda' figured - Lover Come Back 00:05
He's the last guy in the world I woulda' figured
Kissin' Cousins I don't think anybody else up here is - Kissin' Cousins 00:11
I don't think anybody else up here is
Kissin' Cousins Mr Tatum don't you get the newspapers up here - Kissin' Cousins 00:12
Mr Tatum don't you get the newspapers up here
Kissin' Cousins Well it's part of our National Defense System - Kissin' Cousins 00:19
Well it's part of our National Defense System
Kissin' Cousins They won't be used at all unless somebody starts a war against us see - Kissin' Cousins 00:30
They won't be used at all unless somebody starts a war...
Kissin' Cousins What's the meaning of this outrage - Kissin' Cousins 00:13
What's the meaning of this outrage
Kissin' Cousins How I long for the days when all I had was a war to worry about - Kissin' Cousins 00:10
How I long for the days when all I had was a war to worry...
How to Murder Your Wife Alka dexa benza thera pota zallimine - How to Murder Your Wife 00:20
Alka dexa benza thera pota zallimine
How to Save a Marriage and... Don't ever try selling four button Italian suits - How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life 00:06
Don't ever try selling four button Italian suits
How to Save a Marriage and... You know if Lewis and Clark had carried a line of men's clothing - How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life 00:07
You know if Lewis and Clark had carried a line of men's...
How to Save a Marriage and... They didn't like the suits fine - How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life 00:10
They didn't like the suits fine
How to Save a Marriage and... Mr Slotkin why didn't you ever remarry - How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life 00:18
Mr Slotkin why didn't you ever remarry
How to Save a Marriage and... I just hope I don't end up in an old salesman's home - How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life 00:08
I just hope I don't end up in an old salesman's...
How to Save a Marriage and... Does it hurt there Oh don't touch me - How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life 00:08
Does it hurt there Oh don't touch me
How to Save a Marriage and... It's strange - How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life 00:25
It's strange
Willy Wonka & the... Charlie's lateHe works too hard for a little boyHe should have some time to playNot enough hours in the dayWith you four bedridden the last 20 yearsit takes a lot of work to keep this family goingIf only his father were aliveWhen I get my strength back - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:33
Charlie's lateHe works too hard for a little boyHe...
Willy Wonka & the... Hi everybodyWake up Charlie's homeGrandpa GeorgeGrandma GeorginaGrandma JosephineGrandpa JoeIs this your supper grandpaIt's yours tooI'm fed up with cabbage water It's not enoughIt's all we have What are you saying - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:31
Hi everybodyWake up Charlie's homeGrandpa GeorgeGrandma...
Willy Wonka & the... How about this Where did you get thatWhat difference does it make where He got it - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:08
How about this Where did you get thatWhat difference does it...
Willy Wonka & the... When bread looks like a banquet I have no right buying tobacco - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:05
When bread looks like a banquet I have no right buying...
Willy Wonka & the... After my paper route I was in front of wonka'sThere was this strange man thereI think he was a tinkerHe was standing behind me looking at the factoryJust before he left he saidNobody ever goes in and nobody ever comes outAnd right he was CharlieNot since - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 01:20
After my paper route I was in front of wonka'sThere was...
Willy Wonka & the... Stop It says the first of October That's tomorrowWe've got lots to do Comb your hair wash your face Polish your shoesI'll take care of everything We don't have much timeGrandpa on the way home today I ran into Mr Slugworth - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:17
Stop It says the first of October That's...
Willy Wonka & the... Mm This is terrificGrandpa look at Augustus Don't worry he can't drink it all - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:08
Mm This is terrificGrandpa look at Augustus Don't worry...
Willy Wonka & the... He'll never get outYes he will WatchRemember you once asked me how a bullet comes out of a gun - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:08
He'll never get outYes he will WatchRemember you once...
Willy Wonka & the... Wonka This is kind of strangeYes strange Charlie But it's fun Ha ha - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:08
Wonka This is kind of strangeYes strange Charlie But...
Willy Wonka & the... We're there WhereHereA small step for mankind but a giant step for usAll ashoreLet me off this freightWhy don't they show that stuff on TV I don't knowWhat a nightmare Daddy I do not want a boat like thisDairy creamWhipped creamCoffee cream Vanilla - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 01:04
We're there WhereHereA small step for mankind but a...
Willy Wonka & the... I JUST KNEW YOU WOULD - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:33
I JUST KNEW YOU WOULD
Willy Wonka & the... Why doesn't she listenBecause Charlie she's a nitwit - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:07
Why doesn't she listenBecause Charlie she's a...
Willy Wonka & the... Violet what are you doingYou're blowing up I feel funnyI'm not surprised What's happeningYou're like a balloon Like a blueberryCall a doctor Stick her with a pinShe'll pop It happens every timeThey all become blueberries You've done it this timeI'll break - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:20
Violet what are you doingYou're blowing up I feel...
Willy Wonka & the... Hey you did it grandpa OhOh I think I hit an air pocketYou can fly to the moon this wayLet's fly south for the winterWhy notPmanmI'm a planeGoing too high - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:21
Hey you did it grandpa OhOh I think I hit an air pocketYou...
Willy Wonka & the... The eggdicator tells the difference between a good eggand a bad eggIf it's good it's shined up and shipped over the worldBut if it's a bad eggdown the chuteAn educated eggdicator - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:21
The eggdicator tells the difference between a good eggand a...
Willy Wonka & the... Ah Mr Salt finally got what he wantedWhat's that Veruca went first - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:08
Ah Mr Salt finally got what he wantedWhat's that Veruca...
Willy Wonka & the... What did they asked for Whatever it is they can have it - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:09
What did they asked for Whatever it is they can have it
Willy Wonka & the... What's that they're filling it up withGinger ale ginger pop ginger beer beer bubblesbubble cola double cola double bubble burp a colaall that carbonated stuff that tickles your noseFew people realize the power in one of those thingsI'm sorry I asked - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:19
What's that they're filling it up withGinger ale...
Willy Wonka & the... It's got more gas in it than a politician - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:14
It's got more gas in it than a politician
Willy Wonka & the... Hey grandpaWhat was that we just went throughHsaw aknowIs that Japanese It's wonka wash spelled backwardsThat's it The journey's overFinest bath I've had in 20 years - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:15
Hey grandpaWhat was that we just went throughHsaw aknowIs...
Willy Wonka & the... It's perfectUnbelievableA miracle It's a TV dinnerIt's wonkavision It could change the world - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:09
It's perfectUnbelievableA miracle It's a TV...
Willy Wonka & the... Oh Our group's getting smaller by the minute - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:05
Oh Our group's getting smaller by the minute
Willy Wonka & the... Mr Wonka I am extraordinarily busy sirI wanted to ask about the chocolateThe lifetime supply of chocolate For CharlieWhen does he get itHe doesn't Why notBecause he broke the rulesWhat rules We didn't see any rules did weWrong sir WrongUnder section 37 b - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 01:33
Mr Wonka I am extraordinarily busy sirI wanted to ask about...
Willy Wonka & the... This is the great glass wonkavator It's an elevatorA wonkavator An elevator goes up and downBut the wonkavator can go sideways slantways backwaysAnd frontwaysAnd any ways you can think ofIt'll take you to any room by pressing one of these buttons Any - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:33
This is the great glass wonkavator It's an elevatorA...
Willy Wonka & the... Faster If we don't pick up speed we won't get throughThrough what AhaYou mean we're going Up and outThis roof is glass It'll shatter in 1000 piecesWe'll be cut to ribbons Probably - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory 00:16
Faster If we don't pick up speed we won't get...
The Poseidon Adventure Lt looks like vitamin E to me - The Poseidon Adventure 00:14
Lt looks like vitamin E to me
The Poseidon Adventure It comes from caring - The Poseidon Adventure 00:08
It comes from caring
The Poseidon Adventure Just because that deck flooded doesn't mean this one will - The Poseidon Adventure 00:13
Just because that deck flooded doesn't mean this one...
The Poseidon Adventure She has this illusion - The Poseidon Adventure 00:30
She has this illusion
The Poseidon Adventure This is no goddamn engine room - The Poseidon Adventure 00:52
This is no goddamn engine room
The Poseidon Adventure You think I'm planning on being careless - The Poseidon Adventure 00:09
You think I'm planning on being careless
The Poseidon Adventure Belle would have signalled - The Poseidon Adventure 00:31
Belle would have signalled
The Poseidon Adventure I want to stay with her a little longer - The Poseidon Adventure 00:12
I want to stay with her a little longer
The Fox and the Hound Amos Slade you trigger happy lunaticGive me that gunMy radiatorWhy you blasted femaleI'll I'll Hold it right thereWatch it That thing's loadedNow it ain't loaded - The Fox and the Hound 00:33
Amos Slade you trigger happy lunaticGive me that gunMy...
The Fox and the Hound Dagnabit woman Your thievin' fox was after my chickensRubbish and poppycockI don't believe it He wouldn't hurt a thingYou callin' me a liar you muddleheaded femaleI saw it happen Amos Slade that temper of yoursis going to get you into a lot of trouble - The Fox and the Hound 00:21
Dagnabit woman Your thievin' fox was after my...
The Fox and the Hound I saw it happen Amos Slade that temper of yoursis going to get you into a lot of troubleTemperTemper woman You ain't seen my temperIf I ever catch that fox on my property again I'll blast himAnd next time I won't miss - The Fox and the Hound 00:21
I saw it happen Amos Slade that temper of yoursis going to...