Clips with Jake Johnson

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Jurassic World Did you close the deal Looks like itVerizon Wireless presents the Indominus rexUgh that is so terribleWhy not just go the distance Claireand just let these corporations name the dinosaursThey've got all the ballparksWhy stop there Why are the West Plains - Jurassic World 00:27
Did you close the deal Looks like itVerizon Wireless...
Jurassic World Clean up your workspace It's chaoticI like to think of it as a living systemJust enough stability to keep it from collapsing into anarchy - Jurassic World 00:14
Clean up your workspace It's chaoticI like to think of...
Jurassic World Okay It's moving really fastThis is Control Put out a park wide alertHang up that damn phone pleaseSorry I'm getting new information Everything's fineLet Asset Containment capture it quietlyThe very existence of this park is predicated on our abilityto - Jurassic World 00:25
Okay It's moving really fastThis is Control Put out a...
Jurassic World Someone has to stay behindOh no I have a boyfriend - Jurassic World 00:11
Someone has to stay behindOh no I have a boyfriend
21 Jump Street I am one more black gay kid getting punched in the faceaway from a nervous breakdown Do I make myself clear - 21 Jump Street 00:08
I am one more black gay kid getting punched in the faceaway...
21 Jump Street All right let's do this Which one of you is DougLet's do that again and pretend you guys aren't weird - 21 Jump Street 00:09
All right let's do this Which one of you is...
Paper Heart Who are you instant messaging with - Paper Heart 00:33
Who are you instant messaging with
Ceremony TEDDY I made this for your wedding - Ceremony 00:07
TEDDY I made this for your wedding
No Strings Attached I'd have sex with a pioneer For sure - No Strings Attached 00:05
I'd have sex with a pioneer For sure
No Strings Attached HeyDid we Yes we did We went to college togetherYou have two gay dadsYeah I'm the man with the two gay dadsThey helped me move my boxes sophomore yearThey're the best I love them I'm super straight though - No Strings Attached 00:17
HeyDid we Yes we did We went to college togetherYou have two...
No Strings Attached Hey you know the best part about my gay dadsWhatThey're never gonna eat out my ex girlfriendsThat's trueHey I heard You and your dad are tunnel buddies huh - No Strings Attached 00:13
Hey you know the best part about my gay dadsWhatThey're...
No Strings Attached I'm gonna call every girl in my phoneuntil someone agrees to have sex with meThat's strong Toast to that ToastThat is a terrible self destructive planand we're behind you a hundred percent - No Strings Attached 00:12
I'm gonna call every girl in my phoneuntil someone...
No Strings Attached Who do you think you are the old guy from Up - No Strings Attached 00:04
Who do you think you are the old guy from Up
No Strings Attached I'm not saying Alvin and I did mushrooms togetherbut I'm not prepared to say that we didn't - No Strings Attached 00:08
I'm not saying Alvin and I did mushrooms togetherbut...
No Strings Attached Yes Look in ten years from nowyou're gonna be having sex with your wifeAnd it's gonna be in the missionary positionAnd one of you is going to be asleep Yep - No Strings Attached 00:11
Yes Look in ten years from nowyou're gonna be having...
Ride the Eagle Cheers To your dead shitty asshole mother - Ride the Eagle 00:06
Cheers To your dead shitty asshole mother
Ride the Eagle It's just that it's boring and you're going to judge me for it - Ride the Eagle 00:15
It's just that it's boring and you're going...
Ride the Eagle You know what people call a dog that bites - Ride the Eagle 00:07
You know what people call a dog that bites
Ride the Eagle You just prance your sweet cheeks all over town - Ride the Eagle 00:11
You just prance your sweet cheeks all over town
Ride the Eagle Thank you Yeah - Ride the Eagle 00:18
Thank you Yeah
Safety Not Guaranteed Can I get a couple interns - Safety Not Guaranteed 00:11
Can I get a couple interns
Safety Not Guaranteed So here's what I'm thinking We're budgeted for two rooms - Safety Not Guaranteed 00:08
So here's what I'm thinking We're budgeted...
Safety Not Guaranteed You never done coke or anything when you're studying for an exam - Safety Not Guaranteed 00:23
You never done coke or anything when you're studying...
Safety Not Guaranteed Yes It's all one Iong school year now - Safety Not Guaranteed 00:07
Yes It's all one Iong school year now
Safety Not Guaranteed Good Kenneth Calloway - Safety Not Guaranteed 00:35
Good Kenneth Calloway
Safety Not Guaranteed Here she is Look at you you went all rogue What did you get - Safety Not Guaranteed 00:36
Here she is Look at you you went all rogue What did you get
Safety Not Guaranteed So what'd he say - Safety Not Guaranteed 00:16
So what'd he say
Safety Not Guaranteed What makes you think he won't slam the door in my face too - Safety Not Guaranteed 00:33
What makes you think he won't slam the door in my face...
Safety Not Guaranteed Are you guys racist It's complicated - Safety Not Guaranteed 00:05
Are you guys racist It's complicated
Safety Not Guaranteed I don't know She was big and Iike - Safety Not Guaranteed 00:10
I don't know She was big and Iike
Safety Not Guaranteed What makes you think there's something wrong with him - Safety Not Guaranteed 00:08
What makes you think there's something wrong with him
Safety Not Guaranteed Fucking Iasers What kind of Iasers - Safety Not Guaranteed 00:07
Fucking Iasers What kind of Iasers
Safety Not Guaranteed Stay back Don't scare them This is fucking intense - Safety Not Guaranteed 00:07
Stay back Don't scare them This is fucking intense
Let's Be Cops Even the cops think we're cops Justin - Let's Be Cops 00:05
Even the cops think we're cops Justin
Let's Be Cops We're the law bitch - Let's Be Cops 00:05
We're the law bitch
Let's Be Cops I got promoted to sergeant - Let's Be Cops 00:06
I got promoted to sergeant
Let's Be Cops What are you doing - Let's Be Cops 00:28
What are you doing
Let's Be Cops That's what you get - Let's Be Cops 00:04
That's what you get
Drinking Buddies I was full of shit yesterday - Drinking Buddies 00:41
I was full of shit yesterday
Smurfs: The Lost Village Hi Grouchy Hi Smurfette Nice day huh - Smurfs: The Lost Village 00:16
Hi Grouchy Hi Smurfette Nice day huh
Win It All The fact that you're even thinking about this plan - Win It All 00:50
The fact that you're even thinking about this plan
Spider Man: Into the Spider... You need to hide your face - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:06
You need to hide your face
Spider Man: Into the Spider... We're the Spider - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:04
We're the Spider
Spider Man: Into the Spider... All right people let's do this one last timeMy name is Peter B ParkerI was bitten by a radioactive spiderAnd for the last 22 yearsI thought I was the one and only Spider ManWhat a dayI'm pretty sure you know the restYou see I saved the city fell in love I - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 02:45
All right people let's do this one last timeMy name is...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... Why do you look like Peter ParkerBecause I am Peter ParkerThen why aren't you dead And why is your hair differentWhy are you older And why is your bodya different shapePretty sure you just called me fatYou don't look so hot either kidMost superheroes - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:20
Why do you look like Peter ParkerBecause I am Peter...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... Are you a ghost NoAre you a zombie Stop itAm I a zombie You're not even closeAre you from another dimension Like a parallel universewhere things are like this universe but differentAnd you're Spider Man in that universeBut somehow traveled to this - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:17
Are you a ghost NoAre you a zombie Stop itAm I a zombie...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... Aw you have a goober Give itWait no Not so fast He called it an override keyThere's always a bypass key a virus key a who cares keyI can never rememberso I always call it a goober Give it - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:12
Aw you have a goober Give itWait no Not so fast He called it...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... What are you doingMaking you feel guilty Is it working - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:08
What are you doingMaking you feel guilty Is it working
Spider Man: Into the Spider... Mmm I love this burger So deliciousOne of the best burgers I've ever hadIn my universe this place closed six years agoI don't know why I really don'tMmmYou have money right I'm not very liquid right now - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:17
Mmm I love this burger So deliciousOne of the best burgers...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... The other Peter said he was gonna beshowing me the ropes WowYou got any Spider Man tips you can tell me nowYeah I got plentyDisinfect the maskYou're gonna wanna use baby powder in the suitheavy on the jointsYou don't want any chafing rightAnything else - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:21
The other Peter said he was gonna beshowing me the ropes...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... And it's a no on the cape I think it's coolTake that off It's disrespectfulSpider Man doesn't wear a cape - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:08
And it's a no on the cape I think it's coolTake...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... So how do we retrace Peter's stepsThat's a good questionWhat would I do if I were meGot itStep One I infiltrate the labTwo Find the head scientist's computerThat lady with the bike is the head scientistI saw her in this documentaryCool Step Three I - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:47
So how do we retrace Peter's stepsThat's a good...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... Miles How do we retrace Peter's steps That's a good questionWhat would I do if I were meGot itStep one I infiltrate the labTwo Find the head scientist's computerMiles That lady with the bike is the head scientist I saw her in this documentaryPeter Cool - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:46
Miles How do we retrace Peter's steps That's a...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... No I can't sit there and let Spider Man diewithout doing anything about itI'm not doing that againWhatMost people I meet in the workplace try to kill meso you're a nice change of pace - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:16
No I can't sit there and let Spider Man diewithout...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... Mr Fisk If we fire again this weekthere could be a black hole under BrooklynYou see this And thisThis is multiple dimensionsbeginning to crash into each otherThis is pretty standard Spider Man stakesYou get used to it Watch thisHe's gonna say You've got - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:28
Mr Fisk If we fire again this weekthere could be a black...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... Miles you gotta unstickWhat do you do to relaxRelax Okay okay okayOh for crying out loudTeenagers just the worst - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:26
Miles you gotta unstickWhat do you do to relaxRelax Okay...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... Okay I'm kinda freaking out right nowYou're supposed to be deadSurprise Okay That's a no no We don't like thatThis is fascinatingOkay that's my faceAn entirely different Peter ParkerLittle bit of a gut perhaps from dimensional warpingOh yeah yeah yeah I - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:20
Okay I'm kinda freaking out right nowYou're...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... What did you say your name wasDr Olivia OctaviusCan I assume that your friends call you Doc OckMy friends actually call me LivMy enemies call me Doc Ock - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:21
What did you say your name wasDr Olivia OctaviusCan I assume...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... He took a bagel Time to swingjust like I taught ya When did you teach me thatI didn't It's a little joke for team buildingHeyAll right you ready Of course I'm not readyI can't do this yetEverybody knows that the best way to learnis under intense life - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:20
He took a bagel Time to swingjust like I taught ya When did...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... I gotta say you're amazing manWe're a little teamMe as the teacher who could still do itYou as the student who can do it just not as goodI'm proud of us Is there something you want to say to me - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:13
I gotta say you're amazing manWe're a little...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... How many more Spider People are thereSave it for Comic ConWhat's Comic Con Whoa - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:07
How many more Spider People are thereSave it for Comic...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... You look tired PeterWell I am tiredAnd older And thicker Yeah I've heard that alreadyOh jeez Are those sweatpantsYup that's what they are - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:14
You look tired PeterWell I am tiredAnd older And thicker...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... Oh yeah I got one of these tooA little old shed where I keep my Spider gearI mean this place is pretentiousWhoaDude Was yours anything like thisMine was like thisbut take away the jeep the planeImagine it way smaller Imagine a futonI feel sad for this guy - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:46
Oh yeah I got one of these tooA little old shed where I keep...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... Hey fellasIs he in black and whiteWhere's that wind coming from We're in a basementWherever I go the wind followsAnd the wind it smells like rain - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:12
Hey fellasIs he in black and whiteWhere's that wind...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... So how did you get hereWell it's kind of a long storyMaybe not that long - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:14
So how did you get hereWell it's kind of a long...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... This kid can turn himself invisibleWatch this He can do it nowI can't do it on command He can't do it on commandBut it is cool Show 'em the zappy thing MilesCan't do it on command He can't do it on commandBut he can do so much more What else do you doJust - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:24
This kid can turn himself invisibleWatch this He can do it...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... We've all been there You know for meit was my Uncle BenFor me it was my Uncle BenjaminFor me it was my fatherFor me it was my best friendMiles the hardest thing about this job isyou can't always save everybody - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:24
We've all been there You know for meit was my Uncle...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... Hello Oh wowUm I just wonderedif we could have some more bread at table 12YeahI'm just I'm really sorryOh Don't be sorry It's just breadI wasn't there for you when you needed meMm hmm I didn't even tryThat's fine You know I should really get goingI know I - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:48
Hello Oh wowUm I just wonderedif we could have some more...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... Where you going PeterAny last wordsCan I get a minute to think about it You have a penGoodbye Peter ParkerWho did thatMiles Spider ManWow Miles You're doing it on commandIt's about time rightLook who's here You figured it outI love you I am so proud of - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:46
Where you going PeterAny last wordsCan I get a minute to...
Spider Man: Into the Spider... Guys I got itI'll go I'm the one with the gooOh you gotta be kidding meDon't watch the mouth Watch the hands - Spider Man: Into the Spider Verse 00:11
Guys I got itI'll go I'm the one with the gooOh...