Clips with Jason Segel

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Can't Hardly Wait Preston I don't know - Can't Hardly Wait 00:59
Preston I don't know
SLC Punk! You're older than anyone else here - SLC Punk! 00:21
You're older than anyone else here
SLC Punk! You're always looking for pain - SLC Punk! 00:11
You're always looking for pain
SLC Punk! You here to visit - SLC Punk! 00:22
You here to visit
SLC Punk! I wanna save the rain forests - SLC Punk! 00:07
I wanna save the rain forests
Knocked Up You guys aren't allowed to make fun of me It's not part of the rulesMartin why didn't you just listen to mewhen I was explaining the rulesYou just looked at me with that blank stare of yoursIt was like talkin' to a wax statue - Knocked Up 00:13
You guys aren't allowed to make fun of me It's not...
Knocked Up You stay here Stay here Why'Cause your face looks like a vaginaDickHey which one's the sisterHey Crockett You still partyin' with Tubbs these daysCome on man I'm gettin' it from all angles hereI don't like it anymore I know I don't eitherWas it weird when - Knocked Up 00:38
You stay here Stay here Why'Cause your face looks like...
Knocked Up Bye I gotta goSadie might have the chicken poxI had the chicken pox three timesI have no immunity to itWe don't have the heart to tell him it's herpesIt's not herpes if it's everywhere - Knocked Up 00:14
Bye I gotta goSadie might have the chicken poxI had the...
Knocked Up I can't fuckin' believe you didn't wear a bag Who does thatWhy did we go to Costco and buy a year's supply of condomsif you weren't gonna use 'em manI can't believe you did this You fucked everything upJason The real point is not to get yourself in this - Knocked Up 00:21
I can't fuckin' believe you didn't wear a bag...
Knocked Up All right I'm I'm gonna be there to rear your childYou hear that Ben Don't let him near the kidHe wants to rear your child Laughing - Knocked Up 00:09
All right I'm I'm gonna be there to rear your...
Knocked Up All right I'm gonna go make a protein shake - Knocked Up 00:05
All right I'm gonna go make a protein shake
Knocked Up Do you really want to - Knocked Up 00:09
Do you really want to
Knocked Up You know who I'd like to get pregnantis that Felicity Huffman manEver since Transamerica I can't get her out of my mind - Knocked Up 00:07
You know who I'd like to get pregnantis that Felicity...
Knocked Up Look man I didn't go to Yale so I could work 12 hours a dayI thought you went to Santa Monica City CollegeI went where I went Jason - Knocked Up 00:08
Look man I didn't go to Yale so I could work 12 hours a...
Knocked Up Fuck offJason Yeah well you still have a little dick Cartman - Knocked Up 00:06
Fuck offJason Yeah well you still have a little dick Cartman
Knocked Up What happened We got pinkeyeWere you givin' each other butterfly kisses or somethin'Mocking Laugh Very funny That's not how you get pinkeyeYou get it from poo particles makin' their way into your ocular cavitiesHey Ben How's it goin' YoUm I farted on - Knocked Up 00:50
What happened We got pinkeyeWere you givin' each other...
Knocked Up HelloHey what's up Daddy What are you doin'Just smokin' a joint drinkin' some beers You know rockin' - Knocked Up 00:10
HelloHey what's up Daddy What are you doin'Just...
Knocked Up No no I mean granted gynecology's only a hobby of minebut it sounds to me like she's crowning - Knocked Up 00:06
No no I mean granted gynecology's only a hobby of...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall You brought a gag - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:28
You brought a gag
Forgetting Sarah Marshall You don't need to put your P in a V right nowNo I don't I need to B my L on somebody's T's - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:09
You don't need to put your P in a V right nowNo I...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall I find you both very sexually attractiveLet's pump the brakes OkayI think that having sex with either of youwould be a great treat for meYou are so funnyI just got out of a five and a half year relationshipso I'm not looking for anything seriousJust - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:34
I find you both very sexually attractiveLet's pump the...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Okay do you mind not saying that over and over againYou can gag meYou brought a gag And handcuffsDo you wanna gag meKind of now - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:23
Okay do you mind not saying that over and over againYou can...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Just go with the usual stuff maybe Something dark and ominousLike losing your penis is a bad thingOh you want dark and ominous - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:13
Just go with the usual stuff maybe Something dark and...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Look Liz and I we think the world of SarahWe think she's greatOkay but everythingI'm just being honest hereEvery time she would come over to our houseshe always actedyou know like a little bitchOkay okay pump the brakesDating Sarah is not like dating Liz - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:52
Look Liz and I we think the world of SarahWe think...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall You gotta get your shit together manI'm trying to It's so hard hereBrian everywhere I look I'm reminded of her okayLike she got me thisokay because I would always leave my cereal boxes openand the cereal would get staleand so one day I came home and she - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:25
You gotta get your shit together manI'm trying to...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Hi can I have another bloody mary pleaseYou're still working on that oneIt's just an anticipatory order - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:10
Hi can I have another bloody mary pleaseYou're still...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Did she see me Is she coming over here Uh huh YupI wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shirt - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:07
Did she see me Is she coming over here Uh huh YupI wish I...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Hi What are you doing hereCame here to murder you - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:07
Hi What are you doing hereCame here to murder you
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Sarah NoIt's Rachel Jansen from the front deskHey Hey what's going on up thereI'm getting complaints about a woman crying hystericallyYeah you know what I hear her tooand it sounds like she's having such a hard timeI think it's coming from the floor above - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:31
Sarah NoIt's Rachel Jansen from the front deskHey Hey...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Hey how's it going HeyI'd just like to grab some dinner pleaseOkay great Is your wife gonna meet you NoYour girlfriendNo I don't have a girlfriendYou're just by yourself YeahSucksOkay so just one Here's your wine list and your menu Come onDo you want like - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:33
Hey how's it going HeyI'd just like to grab some...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Just to get me hands on a rock - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:14
Just to get me hands on a rock
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Its not all about you - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:08
Its not all about you
Forgetting Sarah Marshall I'm on Sex and the City What's up MirandaI'm Samantha I have sex with everyone - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:11
I'm on Sex and the City What's up MirandaI'm...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Or maybe it's a sign from God that you should be with herI love her showWhen they mix the sexuality and the violence I like it - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:13
Or maybe it's a sign from God that you should be with...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall How are things going with the ladyNot awesome She's complicated like The Da Vinci Codeyou know but harder to crack - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:12
How are things going with the ladyNot awesome She's...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall There's really only one cure for thatWhat's thatWeed You got anyNo Well then let's go surfing - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:12
There's really only one cure for thatWhat's...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall How long you lived out hereMan I don't know I quit wearing a watch when I moved out hereWow that's so cool YeahNo like my cell phone has a clock on it so I don't really need itRight so it's basically the same thingHow old are you I don't really believe in - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:29
How long you lived out hereMan I don't know I quit...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Hey look man if you're attacked by a shark - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:09
Hey look man if you're attacked by a shark
Forgetting Sarah Marshall What's up with that hatWhat are you in the Buena Vista Social ClubThis is a nice hatWhat member of the Brat Pack are youYou look like one of those guys suspected of killing JFK - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:13
What's up with that hatWhat are you in the Buena Vista...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Sarah MarshallYesHow do you know I was dating Sarah MarshallDwayne told me Chuck told meEven Rachel told meI heard about it from everybody You gotta stop talking about itIt's like The SopranosIt's overFind a new show - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:23
Sarah MarshallYesHow do you know I was dating Sarah...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Why DraculaBecause he's a man like anyone else He just wants to be lovedAnd every time he gets close to a human womanhe ends up smothering and killing herwhich is a feeling I am familiar with - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:14
Why DraculaBecause he's a man like anyone else He just...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall I thought I told you to stay back on your islandTake it easy just take it easyYeah you know what The deal was over April 9Well the deal's back on motherfuckerYou ain't the chief in this village I'm the chiefOf the idiotsRachel let me handle this I know - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:22
I thought I told you to stay back on your islandTake it easy...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall You were like one of those girls from Flavour of LoveFrom what You were - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:06
You were like one of those girls from Flavour of LoveFrom...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Hey man I'm KoonuYeah No I remember I'm Peter We took a surf lesson togetherYeah you're that guy that works with Kaiser PermanenteNo I'm Peter We had a nice talk out on the water - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:15
Hey man I'm KoonuYeah No I remember I'm Peter We...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall I saw him beat up a guy with a starfishOkay that's just ridiculous That guy was me - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:08
I saw him beat up a guy with a starfishOkay that's just...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Why don't you press your feet up against the rockand like shoot yourself offWhat like a frog I don't know PeterJust get off the fucking rock - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:11
Why don't you press your feet up against the rockand...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall I wanna stand up on a wave before I leaveI don't think you're ready yet manI'm ready to ride giants Koonu I think you're ready - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:10
I wanna stand up on a wave before I leaveI don't think...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Before you go actually Peter I just wanted to tell youI was listening to Sarah's iPod the other dayand amidst the interminable dross that's on that thingI found one track that I quite likedSo I checked what it was and it was actually one of yoursAnd it - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:41
Before you go actually Peter I just wanted to tell youI was...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall But whatever I can see why Sarah likes youNo accounting for taste I suppose In her case anywayShe was with me for five years so there you goYeah you got four on me there mateYou slept with Sarah a year agoI thought you knew Peter please don't take it - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:32
But whatever I can see why Sarah likes youNo accounting for...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Koonu call the front desk nowOkay monster man - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:07
Koonu call the front desk nowOkay monster man
Forgetting Sarah Marshall You know what If they were Sean John sweatpants it would have been fineBut because they're Costco brand it's like the worst thing I could do - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:08
You know what If they were Sean John sweatpants it would...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall It was Awful bloody filmI say it's just a ridiculous premiseWhat would happen if your mobile phone killed youI told her that when she read the scriptYeah You were the voice of reason mateI tried to be but she didn't listenGoing around killing people A - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:50
It was Awful bloody filmI say it's just a ridiculous...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall And I'm not done either - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:12
And I'm not done either
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Are you sleeping - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:15
Are you sleeping
Forgetting Sarah Marshall You know what I have a good thing going on with Racheland I want to see that throughWell maybe you could have both of them Rachel and SarahThey got on all right didn't they at dinner So maybeYou know what First of all I'm not that kind of guyAnd even if I - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:22
You know what I have a good thing going on with Racheland I...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Get hard for me Pete Get hard for meI know what I'm supposed to do Okay - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:08
Get hard for me Pete Get hard for meI know what I'm...
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Wedding in Hawaii Real original - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:05
Wedding in Hawaii Real original
Forgetting Sarah Marshall Everybody hates youEverybody wishes that you were deadBecause Peter you suckPeter you suckPeter your music is fucking terriblePeter you suckPeter you don't do anything of valuePeter you suckWrite some music but instead you sit and write these bullshit - Forgetting Sarah Marshall 00:35
Everybody hates youEverybody wishes that you were...
I Love You, Man I just wish I could take back that kiss - I Love You, Man 01:01
I just wish I could take back that kiss
I Love You, Man I think we should spend some time apart - I Love You, Man 01:55
I think we should spend some time apart
I Love You, Man This is where i jerk off - I Love You, Man 00:12
This is where i jerk off
I Love You, Man She was very nice looking - I Love You, Man 00:12
She was very nice looking
I Love You, Man Look at him crop dusting across your open house It's a disgrace - I Love You, Man 00:05
Look at him crop dusting across your open house It's a...
I Love You, Man I like it but I'm thinking it might be a little bit small - I Love You, Man 00:08
I like it but I'm thinking it might be a little bit...
I Love You, Man Hello pretty lady Anybody want a peanut - I Love You, Man 00:05
Hello pretty lady Anybody want a peanut
I Love You, Man You get home safe Pistol You got it Joban - I Love You, Man 00:23
You get home safe Pistol You got it Joban
I Love You, Man Cool Why don't you meet me at Muscle Beach at like - I Love You, Man 00:26
Cool Why don't you meet me at Muscle Beach at like
I Love You, Man That open house was understated It was classy and elegant - I Love You, Man 00:13
That open house was understated It was classy and elegant
I Love You, Man Hey no Pete Trying is having the intention to fail - I Love You, Man 00:11
Hey no Pete Trying is having the intention to fail
I Love You, Man You need a plastic bag or No I don't clean up after my dog - I Love You, Man 00:05
You need a plastic bag or No I don't clean up after my...