John C. Reilly Quotes & Movies

Guardians of the Galaxy poster

Guardians of the Galaxy Ralph

Ralph Breaks the Internet poster

Ralph Breaks the Internet Eddie

Sing poster

Sing Lisping Man

The Lobster poster

The Lobster Officer Jim Kurring

Magnolia poster

Magnolia Reed Rothchild

Boogie Nights poster

Boogie Nights Tucker Van Dyke

What's Eating Gilbert Grape poster

What's Eating Gilbert Grape Franklin

We Need to Talk About Kevin poster

We Need to Talk About Kevin Dan Brown

The Hours poster

The Hours Ralph

Wreck It Ralph poster

Wreck It Ralph Noah Dietrich

The Aviator poster

The Aviator Amos Hart

Chicago poster

Chicago Constable Frank Stamshaw

Dolores Claiborne poster

Dolores Claiborne Michael Longstreet

Carnage poster

Carnage PFC Herbert Hatcher

Casualties of War poster

Casualties of War Oliver Hardy

Stan & Ollie poster

Stan & Ollie John

Hard Eight poster

Hard Eight Eli Sisters

The Sisters Brothers poster

The Sisters Brothers Cop at Police Station

Shadows and Fog poster

Shadows and Fog Dewey Cox

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story poster

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story Dale Doback

Step Brothers poster

Step Brothers Sasquatch

Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny poster

Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny Kiyomasa Oiwa

When Marnie Was There poster

When Marnie Was There Dale 'Murph' Murphy

The Perfect Storm poster

The Perfect Storm Terry

The River Wild poster

The River Wild Gus Sinski

For Love of the Game poster

For Love of the Game Buck Bretherton

Days of Thunder poster

Days of Thunder Thug in bar

Above the Law poster

Above the Law Gus

Never Been Kissed poster

Never Been Kissed Phil Last

The Good Girl poster

The Good Girl Sgt. Storm

The Thin Red Line poster

The Thin Red Line Richard Gaddis

Criminal poster

Criminal Mr. Murray

Dark Water poster

Dark Water John

Cyrus poster

Cyrus Dr. Watson

Holmes & Watson poster

Holmes & Watson The Ghost of Stonewall Jackson

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues poster

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues Self

Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind poster

Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind Hank Marlow

Kong: Skull Island poster

Kong: Skull Island Father Tommasso

The Little Hours poster

The Little Hours Maury Slocum

Life After Beth poster

Life After Beth Clayton

The Dictator poster

The Dictator Mr. Fitzgerald

Terri poster

9 poster

9 Cal Naughton Jr.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby poster

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky... Deputy Inspector Bill Davis

Nightwatch poster

Nightwatch Young Monk

We're No Angels poster

We're No Angels Crepsley

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant poster

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant Cousin John

Entertainment poster

Entertainment Dean Ziegler

Cedar Rapids poster

Cedar Rapids Stevie

State of Grace poster

State of Grace Herman Munster

Licorice Pizza poster

Licorice Pizza Older Arnie Shankman

Anger Management poster

Anger Management Lefty

A Prairie Home Companion poster

A Prairie Home Companion Happy Jack

Gangs of New York poster

Gangs of New York Herman

Georgia poster

Georgia Pete Connelly

Hoffa poster

Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie poster

Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie Richard Wehlner

The Promotion poster

The Promotion Al

Year of the Dog poster

Year of the Dog Dr. Steve Brule

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! poster

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! Mac Forsyth

The Anniversary Party poster

The Anniversary Party Wreck-It Ralph

Once Upon a Studio poster

Once Upon a Studio Gershon Gruen

The Extra Man poster

The Extra Man The Folk Singer

An Almost Christmas Story poster

An Almost Christmas Story American Magazine Editor

Stars at Noon poster

Clips with John C. Reilly

Cirque du Freak: The...

Nice night actually - Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

Nice night actually

Cirque du Freak: The...

But whenever Mr Tiny wants something - Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

But whenever Mr Tiny wants something

Cirque du Freak: The...

Why can't you just get a cell phone - Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

Why can't you just get a cell phone

Cirque du Freak: The...

Lt's been a long night l just flitted across two states - Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

Lt's been a long night l just flitted across two states

Cirque du Freak: The...

Your mouth says no but your beard says yes - Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

Your mouth says no but your beard says yes

Cirque du Freak: The...

By the way there's a new rule You're not to leave camp anymore - Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

By the way there's a new rule You're not to leave...

Cirque du Freak: The...

After 200 years of living alone why on earth would l suddenly become lonely - Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

After 200 years of living alone why on earth would l...

Cirque du Freak: The...

Life may be meaningless but death l still have hope for - Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

Life may be meaningless but death l still have hope for

Cirque du Freak: The...

You're in danger terrible danger - Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

You're in danger terrible danger

Cirque du Freak: The...

Will it work Hypnotizing them - Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

Will it work Hypnotizing them

Cirque du Freak: The...

Oh Larten you did it - Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

Oh Larten you did it

Year of the Dog

So you were saying you had a dog who died when you were young - Year of the Dog

So you were saying you had a dog who died when you were...

Year of the Dog

So you ever been married - Year of the Dog

So you ever been married

Year of the Dog

AL It can be a real addiction - Year of the Dog

AL It can be a real addiction

DaleDale I'm leaving for the conferenceYou leave me money for pizza Dad Yeah there's 20 on the hall tableDo not order pay per view buddyBut what if I want wings You don't need wingsThat's not enough Dad - Step Brothers

DaleDale I'm leaving for the conferenceYou leave me...

I'm just saying I think you gotta think about your optionsI know that you are technically married nowbut that does not mean that they have to live hereDale I think it's time for a change for both of usDad we're men okayThat means a few thingsWe like to - Step Brothers

I'm just saying I think you gotta think about your...

Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the showerand decides to come on to me I'm looking goodI've got a luscious V of hairgoing from my chest pubes down to my ball froAnd she takes one look at me and she goesOh my GodI've had the old bull now I want the - Step Brothers

Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the showerand decides to...

I have a green beltRead it and weepI don't believe in belts - Step Brothers

I have a green beltRead it and weepI don't believe in...

I manage a baseball teamLittle League Fantasy league - Step Brothers

I manage a baseball teamLittle League Fantasy league

I remember when I had my first beerHa ha ha So funny the last time I heard thatI laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur - Step Brothers

I remember when I had my first beerHa ha ha So funny the...

Hey you awakeYeahI just want you to know I hate youSo does my dadWell that's fineBecause guess whatI hate you tooAnd this house sucks assWell the only reason you're living hereis because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hotand maybe we - Step Brothers

Hey you awakeYeahI just want you to know I hate youSo does...

You and your mom are hillbilliesThis is a house of learned doctorsYou're not a doctorYou're a big fat curly headed fuck - Step Brothers

You and your mom are hillbilliesThis is a house of learned...

Why you so sweaty I was watching Cops - Step Brothers

Why you so sweaty I was watching Cops

Your drum set's a whoreI teabagged your fucking drum setWell my drum set's a guy so that makes you gay you fucker - Step Brothers

Your drum set's a whoreI teabagged your fucking drum...

What are you doing It's Shark Week - Step Brothers

What are you doing It's Shark Week

Two you have one month to find jobs or you're out on your assesI will arrange interviews for Monday and you will goDad why are you talking to me like this I'm your sonI'm not buying that anymore - Step Brothers

Two you have one month to find jobs or you're out on...

You yelled rape at the top of your lungsMom I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a secondHe had the craziest look in his eyesAnd at one point he said Let's get it onThat was about the fighting I'm so not a raperLook I didn't touch your drum set - Step Brothers

You yelled rape at the top of your lungsMom I honestly...

This house is a fucking prison On planet BullshitIn the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks - Step Brothers

This house is a fucking prison On planet BullshitIn the...

Ah come on I love talking to you HehFrom across the room I feel like we have a thingYou and me man You're my new stepdad UnbelievableI never heard that laugh before Dad why are you acting so weird - Step Brothers

Ah come on I love talking to you HehFrom across the room I...

You know what I still hate youbut you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie magsYeah I got them from the '70s '80s and '90sIt's like masturbating in a time machine - Step Brothers

You know what I still hate youbut you got a pretty awesome...

What's up faggots What's up manYou're not gonna come down say hi What's upHi DerekWhoa calm down man I'm just jokingWow You guys I really like your guys' setup up hereWhat is your problem manMy problem Oh I don't know I don't have a problem DaleActually I - Step Brothers

What's up faggots What's up manYou're not...

Actually I have the opposite of a problemI made over 550 K last year How much did you makeIt's not about money No it's not about moneyFor me it's a little bit about moneyand I made that much money last year I am the VP of the biggestexecutive helicopter - Step Brothers

Actually I have the opposite of a problemI made over 550 K...

ListenI know that we started out as foeBut after that courageous actthat you showed me against the one they call Derekmaybe someday we could become friendsFriends who ride majestic translucent steedsshooting flaming arrows across the Bridge of HemdaleI - Step Brothers

ListenI know that we started out as foeBut after that...

Why do you have Randy Jackson's autograph on a martial arts weaponBecause I bumped into him and all I had was this samurai swordand you're not gonna not get Randy Jackson's autograph rightI would've done the exact same thing - Step Brothers

Why do you have Randy Jackson's autograph on a martial...

On the count of three name your favorite dinosaurDon't even think about it just name it Ready One two threeVelociraptorFavorite non pornographic magazine to masturbate toGood HousekeepingIf you were a chick who's the one guy you'd sleep withJohn - Step Brothers

On the count of three name your favorite dinosaurDon't...

Please stop calling me Mr Doback - Step Brothers

Please stop calling me Mr Doback

We're here to fuck shit up - Step Brothers

We're here to fuck shit up

Well Brennan you certainly have had a lot of jobsI'm a spark plugAnd Human Resources ladyOh You know it's Actually it's PamI'm sorryWell Pan No my name is PamAre you saying Pan or Pam I'm saying PamYeah I'm sorry who is this gentleman sitting behind - Step Brothers

Well Brennan you certainly have had a lot of jobsI'm a...

What do you say we interview youUh all right Yes that's a sometimes useful exercisePlease put your hand downGo aheadHow much money do you make a year before taxesOkay I'm actually not comfortable answering thatCome on We're doing the interview now not - Step Brothers

What do you say we interview youUh all right Yes that's...

Okay here's a shot out of a cannon Oprah Barbara Walters your wifeYou gotta fuck one marry one kill one Go - Step Brothers

Okay here's a shot out of a cannon Oprah Barbara...

Here's a shot out of a cannon Oprah Barbara Walters your wife - Step Brothers

Here's a shot out of a cannon Oprah Barbara Walters...

Was that a fart I don't knowI can taste itOn my tongueOkay I'll be honest with you I did fartIs that onion Onion and Onion and ketchupIt stinks And this is a small room ShitOkay now the tuxedos seem kind of fucked up - Step Brothers

Was that a fart I don't knowI can taste itOn my...

You know in that one scene in The Wizard of Ozwhen the flying monkeys pull apart the ScarecrowThat's what it was like Oh - Step Brothers

You know in that one scene in The Wizard of Ozwhen the...

Is my dad mad about the stuff that happenedRobert was very upset yesHe knows that you interviewed as a teamAnd he heard about the fartOh he did YeahYou just couldn't hold it or youNo I thought it was gonna be silent It was not silentIt just kept going and - Step Brothers

Is my dad mad about the stuff that happenedRobert was very...

We're putting the house on the marketWhere are we movingIs the house hauntedNo Nancy and I are retiringand sailing around the world on my boatWe are living the dreamWell what about usI'm sorry Robert We thought thatyou should take responsibility for your - Step Brothers

We're putting the house on the marketWhere are we...

I know it seems hard but it's the best thing for both of youWe do it because we love youDad I'm doing this because I love you fuck you - Step Brothers

I know it seems hard but it's the best thing for both...

Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus - Step Brothers

Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus

Dale I don't know how much you know about therapybut it starts by you telling me something about yourselfI work at a college as a janitoreven though I feel like I'm smarter than people that go thereSometimes I see an equation written on a blackboardlike - Step Brothers

Dale I don't know how much you know about therapybut it...

We're in the bathroom This'll just take a minuteThere's really little you can do about it Let me just hop onAah OohIt's all slippery - Step Brothers

We're in the bathroom This'll just take a...

Big question isAside from the damage to the boat which we will fixwhat'd you guys think of the presentationBrennan I think that what you did to Robert's boat was horridHaving said that I think that both of you boysshowed a lot of enthusiasm and - Step Brothers

Big question isAside from the damage to the boat which we...

Look we could bicker about this all night but what's done is done DadAre you guys gonna invest or not That's it That's it - Step Brothers

Look we could bicker about this all night but what's...

Hey Are you awakeYeahI can't believe we actually have to move out of this houseI know I feel badHey you know we don't have to whisper anymoreMom and Dad aren't hereYeah but can we keep doing it thoughIt helps me pretend that they areYou must feel just - Step Brothers

Hey Are you awakeYeahI can't believe we actually have...

It's just like Cold Case Files It's just like Cold Case FilesIt's just like Cold Case Files - Step Brothers

It's just like Cold Case Files It's just like Cold...

I'm alive Brennan I'm alive You're waking the neighborsShut up No No - Step Brothers

I'm alive Brennan I'm alive You're waking the...

Now I'm gonna play your drum set Help meClose your eyes Let the dirt just shower over youThis is your faultOh I'm exhausted I'm gonna sleep good tonightDon't you touch my drums ZombieAah Aah Zombie ZombieGet off me zombie - Step Brothers

Now I'm gonna play your drum set Help meClose your eyes...

You know what I just realizedYou've been the one dragging me downNow I'm gonna go out gonna get a job and an apartmentand then I'm gonna get Mom and Dr Doback back togetherI'm gonna be the hero and you can suck on itMy life was perfect before you came - Step Brothers

You know what I just realizedYou've been the one...

I'm gonna be honest I really need a jobAnd I will take any position as long as it doesn't involvehaving sex with old ladies for money or bear trapsThose are my two bugaboos All right got it - Step Brothers

I'm gonna be honest I really need a jobAnd I will take...

Hey Brennan It's good to see you DaleThanks for hiring our catering companyEasy decision You guys have a outstanding track recordJust like old times huh Right it really isYou still have your night vision gogglesNo no No I had to sell those to pay for car - Step Brothers

Hey Brennan It's good to see you DaleThanks for hiring...

Boats and ho's - Step Brothers

Chewbacca masks - Step Brothers

Chewbacca masks

Chewbacca masksWhoo Yeah ChewbaccaIt's okay that mine's not movie quality - Step Brothers

Chewbacca masksWhoo Yeah ChewbaccaIt's okay that...

HeyCan I ask you somethingYeah of courseYou know back when you first moved inYeahDid you touch my drum set No I didn'tNo really I won't get mad I just wanna knowI know You said you wouldn'tI'm just saying I didn't do it I didn't do it I never did itThen I - Step Brothers

HeyCan I ask you somethingYeah of courseYou know back when...

You got my passportI'm goodDon't worry not gonna be late Don't worry - Step Brothers

You got my passportI'm goodDon't worry not gonna...

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

I'll tell you what happened - Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

I'll tell you what happened

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

It's about holding hands - Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

It's about holding hands

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

Springburry ain't big enough for me no more - Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

Springburry ain't big enough for me no more

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

I think I'm doing okay for a 15 year old with a wife and a baby - Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

I think I'm doing okay for a 15 year old with a wife...

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

I am starting to think - Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

I am starting to think

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

Edith I told you I can't build you a candy house - Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

Edith I told you I can't build you a candy house

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

I'm just so glad you learned to play the guitar so good - Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

I'm just so glad you learned to play the guitar so good