Clips with Jonah Hill

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Don't Look Up You do not have clearance for this sweetheart Don't tripGot you some crackers some watersYou don't need to throw it on the floor - Don't Look Up 00:09
You do not have clearance for this sweetheart Don't...
Don't Look Up What if we have to go to the bathroomWe'll lay out some newspaper for you Grab you a can of Febreze - Don't Look Up 00:08
What if we have to go to the bathroomWe'll lay out some...
Don't Look Up There's dope stuff like material stuff like sick apartments and watchesand cars um and clothes and shitthat could all go away and I don't wanna see that stuff go awaySo I'm gonna say a prayer for that stuff Amen - Don't Look Up 00:17
There's dope stuff like material stuff like sick...
Moneyball HeyHello Who are youI'm Peter BrandWhat do you doI'm special assistant to Mark ShapiroSo what do you doMostly player analysis right nowBeen on the job long First job in baseballIt's my first job anywhereWow congrats Thank youFirst job Whose nephew are - Moneyball 01:44
HeyHello Who are youI'm Peter BrandWhat do you...
Moneyball There is an epidemic failure within the gameto understand what is really happeningAnd this leads people who run Major League Baseball teamsto misjudge their players and mismanage their teamsI apologizeGo onOkay People who run ball clubs they think in - Moneyball 01:43
There is an epidemic failure within the gameto understand...
Moneyball Where you from Pete MarylandWhere'd you go to school Yale I went to YaleWhat'd you study EconomicsI studied economicsYale economics and baseballYou're funny Pete - Moneyball 00:27
Where you from Pete MarylandWhere'd you go to school...
Moneyball Hello Hey it's Billy BeaneHey what time is it I don't knowListen would you have drafted me in the first roundWhatAfter I left you looked me up on your computerWould you have drafted me in the first roundI did yeah You were a good playerCut the crap - Moneyball 00:53
Hello Hey it's Billy BeaneHey what time is it I...
Moneyball I wanted you to see these player evaluationsthat you asked me to doI asked you to do threeYeahTo evaluate three players YeahHow many did you doForty sevenOkayActually 51 I don't know why I lied just then - Moneyball 00:26
I wanted you to see these player evaluationsthat you asked...
Moneyball It's about getting things down to one numberUsing the stats the way we read themwe'll find value in players that nobody else can seePeople are overlookedfor a variety of biased reasons and perceived flawsAge appearance personalityBill James and - Moneyball 00:46
It's about getting things down to one numberUsing the...
Moneyball Guys you're still trying to replace GiambiI told you we can't do it and we can't do itNow what we might be able to do is re create himRe create him in the aggregate The whatGiambi's on base percentage was 477Damon's on base 324 And Olmedo's was 291Add - Moneyball 00:45
Guys you're still trying to replace GiambiI told you we...
Moneyball We'll be lucky to get 60 games out of him Why do you like himBecause he gets on base - Moneyball 00:08
We'll be lucky to get 60 games out of him Why do you...
Moneyball You rather get a bullet to the head or five to the chest and bleed to deathAre those my only two options - Moneyball 00:11
You rather get a bullet to the head or five to the chest and...
Moneyball How come your boss doesn't travel with the teamHe doesn't like to mingle with the playersIs that supposed to make us easier to cut - Moneyball 00:15
How come your boss doesn't travel with the teamHe...
Moneyball This is the kind of decision that gets you firedIt isYes you're rightI may lose my jobIn which case I'm a 44 year old guy with a high school diplomaand a daughter I'd like to be able to send to collegeYou're 25 years old with a degree from Yaleand a - Moneyball 00:35
This is the kind of decision that gets you firedIt isYes...
Moneyball Every at bat's like a hand of blackjackEvery card that's dealt your odds change - Moneyball 00:07
Every at bat's like a hand of blackjackEvery card...
Moneyball Did you hear that - Moneyball 00:07
Did you hear that
Moneyball It's hard not to be romantic about baseballThis kind of thing it's fun for the fansIt sells tickets and hot dogsDoesn't mean anythingBilly we just won 20 games in a rowAnd what's the pointWe just got the recordMan I've been doing this forListen manI've - Moneyball 01:43
It's hard not to be romantic about baseballThis kind of...
Moneyball The Visalia Oaksand our 240 pound catcher Jeremy Brownwho as you know is scared to run to second baseThis was in a game six weeks agoThis guy's gonna start with a fastballJeremy's gonna take him to deep centerHere's what's interestingbecause Jeremy's - Moneyball 01:02
The Visalia Oaksand our 240 pound catcher Jeremy Brownwho as...
Moneyball It's a metaphor I know it's a metaphor - Moneyball 00:05
It's a metaphor I know it's a metaphor
Get Him to the Greek But that's not happening anymore - Get Him to the Greek 00:35
But that's not happening anymore
Get Him to the Greek Don't smile like that - Get Him to the Greek 00:14
Don't smile like that
Get Him to the Greek You ever been mind fucked before - Get Him to the Greek 00:29
You ever been mind fucked before
Get Him to the Greek What's up man - Get Him to the Greek 00:29
What's up man
Get Him to the Greek I want to fuck them two girls Do you - Get Him to the Greek 00:43
I want to fuck them two girls Do you
Get Him to the Greek Would you like me to take the Chiswick Roundabout - Get Him to the Greek 00:11
Would you like me to take the Chiswick Roundabout
Get Him to the Greek Don't be a bitch dude Let me get my smoke on - Get Him to the Greek 00:06
Don't be a bitch dude Let me get my smoke on
Get Him to the Greek Are you Paul Krugman - Get Him to the Greek 00:13
Are you Paul Krugman
Get Him to the Greek Across the mystic desert - Get Him to the Greek 00:08
Across the mystic desert
Get Him to the Greek Do you know the lyrics to African Child - Get Him to the Greek 00:07
Do you know the lyrics to African Child
Get Him to the Greek I labored under the myth of monogamy for seven years with Jackie - Get Him to the Greek 00:16
I labored under the myth of monogamy for seven years with...
Get Him to the Greek I'll just get on a plane and go back to London - Get Him to the Greek 00:49
I'll just get on a plane and go back to London
Get Him to the Greek Do you know what that word is Oh no - Get Him to the Greek 00:12
Do you know what that word is Oh no
Get Him to the Greek I feel like I'm in 2 Fast 2 Furious - Get Him to the Greek 00:07
I feel like I'm in 2 Fast 2 Furious
Get Him to the Greek Stop When's the last time you Purell d that thing - Get Him to the Greek 00:09
Stop When's the last time you Purell d that thing
Get Him to the Greek I'm alive - Get Him to the Greek 00:06
I'm alive
Get Him to the Greek This is the longest hallway of all time - Get Him to the Greek 00:10
This is the longest hallway of all time
Get Him to the Greek I'm not sucking his dick that's like 100 - Get Him to the Greek 00:07
I'm not sucking his dick that's like 100
Get Him to the Greek Nothing you say makes any sense Okay I understand that now - Get Him to the Greek 00:12
Nothing you say makes any sense Okay I understand that now
Get Him to the Greek How are you What are you wearing - Get Him to the Greek 00:12
How are you What are you wearing
21 Jump Street Get ready for a lifetime of being badass motherfuckersOh lamI really thought this job would have more car chases and explosionsand less homeless people doo dooing everywhere - 21 Jump Street 00:21
Get ready for a lifetime of being badass motherfuckersOh...
21 Jump Street Yours isn't loaded right HuhWe're supposed to unload them first rightWhat you NoThat's no fun Come on - 21 Jump Street 00:10
Yours isn't loaded right HuhWe're supposed to...
21 Jump Street Hey Melodie - 21 Jump Street 00:04
Hey Melodie
21 Jump Street Okay Look it obviously starts with You have the right to remain silentI know you've heard this before And thenI think it sounds something likeYou have the right to an attorney Well the thing Yeah rightYou have the right to remain an attorneyDid you say - 21 Jump Street 00:26
Okay Look it obviously starts with You have the right to...
21 Jump Street Sir if I have to suck somebody's dick I willIt's just I'd prefer not to - 21 Jump Street 00:09
Sir if I have to suck somebody's dick I willIt's...
21 Jump Street You some Justin BeaverMiley Cyrus looking motherfuckersCaptain SassyI know what you're thinkingAngry Black CaptainIt ain't nothing but a stupid stereotypeWell guess what motherfuckersI'm blackAnd I worked my ass off to be the captainAnd sometimes I get - 21 Jump Street 00:29
You some Justin BeaverMiley Cyrus looking...
21 Jump Street You hear that That's youDon't do it man WhyKeep that dirty dick in your pants DirtyDon't fuck no studentsDon't fuck no teachersSir I know we come off as a couple of lady killersbut I promise you we will be super professional on the jobClearly I wasn't - 21 Jump Street 00:33
You hear that That's youDon't do it man WhyKeep...
21 Jump Street That means people actually give a shitSir I just want to throw out to you that I would give a shit if he was black - 21 Jump Street 00:09
That means people actually give a shitSir I just want to...
21 Jump Street Hey Korean Jesus - 21 Jump Street 00:04
Hey Korean Jesus
21 Jump Street I mean it looks like I died in a car crashand you guys haven't moved on Rid of it - 21 Jump Street 00:06
I mean it looks like I died in a car crashand you guys...
21 Jump Street The Three Keys of Coolness in High School by JenkoOne don't try hard at anythingOkay Two make fun of people who do tryThree be handsomeFour if anyone steps to you on the first day of schoolyou punch them directly in the faceFive drive a kick ass carShit - 21 Jump Street 00:25
The Three Keys of Coolness in High School by JenkoOne...
21 Jump Street I think I shit my pants - 21 Jump Street 00:04
I think I shit my pants
21 Jump Street Okay those are GothsThose are nerdsI don't know what they areWhat the fuck are those things - 21 Jump Street 00:14
Okay those are GothsThose are nerdsI don't know what...
21 Jump Street Your grandma's vagina and there's a dick going into it - 21 Jump Street 00:05
Your grandma's vagina and there's a dick going...
21 Jump Street Is it me - 21 Jump Street 00:05
Is it me
21 Jump Street Who put this together' Are you autistic - 21 Jump Street 00:04
Who put this together' Are you autistic
21 Jump Street Stripping down cars in the Garfield High metal shopWhat Meanwhile you two were standing aroundfinger popping each other's assholesWe're not finger popping each other's assholesWhat we're doing is getting shit done - 21 Jump Street 00:15
Stripping down cars in the Garfield High metal shopWhat...
21 Jump Street When did I get stabbedThat's awesome - 21 Jump Street 00:06
When did I get stabbedThat's awesome
21 Jump Street Are you fucking kidding me? - 21 Jump Street 00:17
Are you fucking kidding me?
21 Jump Street What kind of a sick animal drawsan ejaculating penis into an 8 year old's mouthIt's arguably like an airplane throwing upYou think I don't know that's a dick and ballsI know all about dick and ballsI partied with Robert Downey Jr before he got soberwhen - 21 Jump Street 00:20
What kind of a sick animal drawsan ejaculating penis into an...
21 Jump Street You're fucking copsBut we partied together manYou bought us Taco Bell - 21 Jump Street 00:08
You're fucking copsBut we partied together manYou...
21 Jump Street Tom Hanson DEA On your kneesWhat the fuckNow FuckDoug Penhall DEA You're under arrestGuns down all of you Domingo tell themPut them downNice YesShut the fuck upYou little dweebs just ruined a five year investigationWe had no ideaYou're like an amazing - 21 Jump Street 01:04
Tom Hanson DEA On your kneesWhat the fuckNow FuckDoug...
21 Jump Street You little dweebs just ruined a five year investigationWe had no ideaYou're like an amazing actor manYou played saxophone at my sister's wedding manTough titty I fucked her tooWhatYou little turdsDo you have any idea how difficult it is to infiltrate a - 21 Jump Street 00:36
You little dweebs just ruined a five year investigationWe...
21 Jump Street Let's do this Let's make a baby - 21 Jump Street 00:04
Let's do this Let's make a baby
21 Jump Street Where'd you learn how to do that manApp chemistry bitch - 21 Jump Street 00:05
Where'd you learn how to do that manApp chemistry bitch
21 Jump Street You shot me in the dickOh my GodYesYes YesYesYou are under arrestIt definitely came out my asshole You have the right to remain silentAnything you say can and will be used against youin a court of lawYou have the right to an attorneyIf you cannot afford - 21 Jump Street 00:36
You shot me in the dickOh my GodYesYes YesYesYou are under...
21 Jump Street New assignmentSince you two cowboys love to drink boozesmoke weed with kids and fuck anything with a big ass in jeanswith low self esteemI'm gonna send you to a place where all that shit is allowedOh I love DisneylandYou two sons of bitches are going to - 21 Jump Street 00:23
New assignmentSince you two cowboys love to drink boozesmoke...
This Is the End What have you guys been doingOh we just hung out all dayAte a bunch of dirty burgers and smoked about a fucking pound of weedand played a bunch of video gamesWeed is tight Weed is tight That's awesomeThat's awesome Weed is awesomeIt was like the golfing - This Is the End 00:22
What have you guys been doingOh we just hung out all dayAte...
This Is the End A huge earthquake happens Who do they rescue firstActors Famous peopleThey'll get Clooney Sandra Bullock meIf there's room you guys'll come - This Is the End 00:11
A huge earthquake happens Who do they rescue firstActors...
This Is the End Can I have that Milky WayNo you can't have the Milky WayThat's my Milky Way There's a bunch WhatI went out this morningspecifically bought this Milky Way to eat after my partyThat's weirdIt's not weird It's my special foodI like it Back me up on that - This Is the End 00:31
Can I have that Milky WayNo you can't have the Milky...
This Is the End Guys I know it sounds really weirdbut I don't think we should let him inWhy notYeah why not I can hear you by the wayI'm sorry We just don't know you manYou could be like a looter or a rapist or a tittie fuckerLike I'm sorryLook guys we just boarded up - This Is the End 01:33
Guys I know it sounds really weirdbut I don't think we...