Clips with Josh Lawson

Mortal Kombat This is where we keepall we've learned about the dragon markingsFirst learned about this seven years agoJax and I were on a mission in Brazilto capture a wanted fugitiveWhen we got therethe target had superhuman abilitiesTore through our unit in - Mortal Kombat 01:29
This is where we keepall we've learned about the dragon...
Mortal Kombat To fight for something known - Mortal Kombat 00:34
To fight for something known
Mortal Kombat Who are youHe's Kano KanoKano whatKano none of your fucking businessWas that RussianDo I sound Russian to you you fucking idiot - Mortal Kombat 00:14
Who are youHe's Kano KanoKano whatKano none of your...
Mortal Kombat He's a mercenary with The Black Dragon clanArms dealer drug runnermurder for hirescum of the EarthI also give really good foot massages - Mortal Kombat 00:11
He's a mercenary with The Black Dragon clanArms dealer...
Mortal Kombat I was tracking another championI was lucky enough to find Kano here insteadRight after he slit the guy's throatYou know next time be more punctual - Mortal Kombat 00:10
I was tracking another championI was lucky enough to find...
Mortal Kombat You were never chosenFate has better standards than youLucky for you I don't have any standards - Mortal Kombat 00:09
You were never chosenFate has better standards than youLucky...
Mortal Kombat What about youWhere's your marking I don't have one - Mortal Kombat 00:04
What about youWhere's your marking I don't have...
Mortal Kombat Kano winsYou fucking beauty - Mortal Kombat 00:08
Kano winsYou fucking beauty
Mortal Kombat Make yourself at homeYeah I haveOh by the way you beer's shitand you're almost out of it - Mortal Kombat 00:07
Make yourself at homeYeah I haveOh by the way you...
Mortal Kombat Uh you got a pen You want to write this downGet fucked'Cause I'm not gonna help youYou kidnapped me You tied me upYou threw a knife through my fucking legon purposeAnd then that lizard thing took off half my faceLucky for me you can hardly notice it - Mortal Kombat 00:15
Uh you got a pen You want to write this downGet...
Mortal Kombat Everyone's got a priceName yours You can't afford meTwo millionThat's goodYou living in this shit holeand you got two million dollarsPig's assI have lived here my whole lifeYou piece of shit You watch your mouthTwo million dollarsYeah No fuck youFuck it - Mortal Kombat 00:45
Everyone's got a priceName yours You can't afford...
Mortal Kombat How you planning on getting us thereOh I got a friend with a planeYou got friends Eh fuck you pretty boyI'm a popular guyEveryone loves me - Mortal Kombat 00:12
How you planning on getting us thereOh I got a friend with a...
Mortal Kombat Thank you for flying Air KanoI know you had fuck all choicesAfraid time's upTime to jump out of this shit box - Mortal Kombat 00:09
Thank you for flying Air KanoI know you had fuck all...
Mortal Kombat I think I know what's going on hereYou're jealous girlieof me little markingHey I'm talking to youIf you want it so muchall you got to do is kill meTake itNow come on What do you sayYou want to dance - Mortal Kombat 00:19
I think I know what's going on hereYou're jealous...
Mortal Kombat Finally you have come to seek out Raiden'sFuck the templeWait You just shot a fireball out of your handHow'd you do thatHang on Hang the fuck onDoes that mean I'm gonna get superpowers at any point - Mortal Kombat 00:18
Finally you have come to seek out Raiden'sFuck the...
Mortal Kombat There's much to learn The fuck - Mortal Kombat 00:04
There's much to learn The fuck
Mortal Kombat Now this one really speaks to me - Mortal Kombat 00:04
Now this one really speaks to me
Mortal Kombat You know maybe your arcana is getting your ass kicked by a hat - Mortal Kombat 00:05
You know maybe your arcana is getting your ass kicked by a...
Mortal Kombat Is that the only move you know mate - Mortal Kombat 00:03
Is that the only move you know mate
Mortal Kombat I'll dumb it down for youFat lazy pigWhat did you sayTerrible fighterZero skillYou got a death wish mateCombat takes intelligenceBut youYou're like a dogA dog who fails his training classes - Mortal Kombat 00:24
I'll dumb it down for youFat lazy pigWhat did you...
Mortal Kombat Well how about I take that stupid fucking sombrero you're wearingshove it so far up your ass you start speaking Spanish - Mortal Kombat 00:08
Well how about I take that stupid fucking sombrero...
Mortal Kombat Let me ask you thisWhy would you jeopardize the goodwillof the only chance of your survivalPrincess why don't you try being one of them silent monksNo no you misunderstandHe is here to save youbecause you cannot save yourselfOh fuck here we go You're - Mortal Kombat 00:44
Let me ask you thisWhy would you jeopardize the goodwillof...
Mortal Kombat You're angryOh Fucking nothing gets by you does itGoodYou should beYou failureFailureFucking failureLet me educate you motherfucker I'm KanoI'm the black fucking dragonAnd who are you two huhYou're some fucking cave dwelling hippytwirling his anal - Mortal Kombat 00:39
You're angryOh Fucking nothing gets by you does...
Mortal Kombat Laser beamIt's better than fireballs you pussy - Mortal Kombat 00:06
Laser beamIt's better than fireballs you pussy
Mortal Kombat Well well wellYou backstabbing two faced ugly motherfuckerKabal Hey KanoIt's been a whileYou getting enough sleep mateYour eyes are a little redder than usualYou've got a big mouth for someone who's standingon the wrong side of the electric fence tough - Mortal Kombat 00:22
Well well wellYou backstabbing two faced ugly...
Mortal Kombat This is fucking tragicLook at yourselfYou used to be someone to fearYou've fallen down a long way since you led the Black DragonDon't tell me about the Black DragonI am the Black DragonWhich one's your boss Let me guess The blondeThat mask cutting off - Mortal Kombat 00:38
This is fucking tragicLook at yourselfYou used to be someone...
Mortal Kombat You know the problem with these new lightning sticksthey just don't make them like they used to - Mortal Kombat 00:10
You know the problem with these new lightning sticksthey...
Holly Slept Over I think they had a lot of sex before they had kids - Holly Slept Over 00:21
I think they had a lot of sex before they had kids
Holly Slept Over You had sex with your college roommate - Holly Slept Over 00:14
You had sex with your college roommate
Holly Slept Over ¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶ - Holly Slept Over 00:15
¶ Oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
Holly Slept Over Oh I feel like a bad husband - Holly Slept Over 00:08
Oh I feel like a bad husband