Clips with Mike Myers

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The Love Guru Well as I write in my book Stop Hitting Yourself - The Love Guru 00:19
Well as I write in my book Stop Hitting Yourself
The Love Guru I explain that people may say bad things about you - The Love Guru 00:17
I explain that people may say bad things about you
The Love Guru Jane the City of Toronto doesn't hate you - The Love Guru 00:29
Jane the City of Toronto doesn't hate you
The Love Guru I mean I didn't even ask for this job I guess it's just my fate - The Love Guru 00:30
I mean I didn't even ask for this job I guess it's...
The Love Guru Darren if your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant - The Love Guru 00:10
Darren if your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant
The Love Guru Now your entourage must stay behind - The Love Guru 00:17
Now your entourage must stay behind
The Love Guru What's wrong with shark skin - The Love Guru 00:09
What's wrong with shark skin
The Love Guru It's a problem - The Love Guru 00:16
It's a problem
The Love Guru I'd like to thank the Academy Wow these things are heavy Yeah - The Love Guru 00:09
I'd like to thank the Academy Wow these things are...
The Love Guru Tonawanda Street Tonawanda Street - The Love Guru 00:25
Tonawanda Street Tonawanda Street
The Love Guru How can you be the Love Guru if you've never been in a relationship - The Love Guru 00:24
How can you be the Love Guru if you've never been in a...
The Love Guru Rajneesh I'd like an alligator soup and make it snappy - The Love Guru 00:12
Rajneesh I'd like an alligator soup and make it snappy
The Love Guru I haven't laughed like this in such a long time - The Love Guru 00:10
I haven't laughed like this in such a long time
The Love Guru You're just afraid of intimacy or into me I see - The Love Guru 00:08
You're just afraid of intimacy or into me I see
The Love Guru What's the capital of Thailand Bangkok - The Love Guru 00:11
What's the capital of Thailand Bangkok
The Love Guru Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the incredible Miss Celine Dion - The Love Guru 00:14
Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the incredible Miss...
The Love Guru Rajneesh let's make like a baby and head out - The Love Guru 00:07
Rajneesh let's make like a baby and head out
The Love Guru Now what is it you can't face - The Love Guru 00:04
Now what is it you can't face
The Love Guru Give me a pound Lock it down - The Love Guru 00:14
Give me a pound Lock it down
Shrek Forever After Do the roar Roar - Shrek Forever After 00:04
Do the roar Roar
Shrek Forever After Unbelievable Tell me about it Those villagersI'm not talking about the villagers Shrek I'm talking about youIs this really how you want to remember the kids' first birthdayOh great So this is all my fault Yes But you know whatLet's talk about this after - Shrek Forever After 01:54
Unbelievable Tell me about it Those villagersI'm not...
Shrek Forever After So you're not gonna eat meNo thanks I already had a big bowl of curly toed weirdo for breakfast - Shrek Forever After 00:09
So you're not gonna eat meNo thanks I already had a big...
Shrek Forever After I gotta say Shrek I envy youTo live the life of an ogre no worries no responsibilitiesYou are free to pillage and terrorize as you pleaseFree That's a laugh Oh yeahSometimes I wish I had just one day to feel like a real ogre againWhy didn't you say - Shrek Forever After 00:25
I gotta say Shrek I envy youTo live the life of an ogre no...
Shrek Forever After So what day would I have to give upI don't know any day A day from your pastA day you had the flu A day you lost a petA day some meddling oaf stuck his nose where it didn't belongdestroying your business and ruining your lifeJust for an example - Shrek Forever After 00:20
So what day would I have to give upI don't know any day...
Shrek Forever After All right RumpelThis wasn't part of the dealRumpelOgreWe've got another one ladies Get himWho are youWhat are you doing in my swampLooks like a troublemakerSpread 'emNice job ladiesYou witches are making a big mistake I know my rightsYou have the right to - Shrek Forever After 01:26
All right RumpelThis wasn't part of the...
Shrek Forever After All right Rumpel what's going on What have you doneNo Shrek it's not what I've done It's what you've doneThanks to you the King and Queen signed their kingdom over to meThey would never do thatThey would if I promised them all their problems would - Shrek Forever After 01:51
All right Rumpel what's going on What have you doneNo...
Shrek Forever After I've never seen an ogre cryI'm not cryingIt's nothing to be ashamed of I cry all the timeJust thinking about my grandma or thinking about baby kittensor my grandma kissing a baby kitten or a little baby grandma kittenThat is so darn sad I said I'm not - Shrek Forever After 00:57
I've never seen an ogre cryI'm not cryingIt's...
Shrek Forever After Donkey I've read the fine printThere's nothing about an exit clause in hereWell you didn't expect him to make it easy for youHere let me show you how it's doneI didn't spend all that time around them witcheswithout picking up a few tricksYour tiny little - Shrek Forever After 00:55
Donkey I've read the fine printThere's nothing...
Shrek Forever After If Fiona and I share true love's kiss I will get my life backOK This isn't a petting zoo So where is this FionaWell that's just it you seeI don't knowYou know when I lose something I always try to retrace my stepsSo where did you leave her lastThe last - Shrek Forever After 00:38
If Fiona and I share true love's kiss I will get my...
Shrek Forever After There's a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle of the forestDon't you find that a wee bit suspicious - Shrek Forever After 00:08
There's a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle...
Shrek Forever After Welcome to the resistance ResistanceWe fight for freedom and ogres everywhereI didn't know we could do that - Shrek Forever After 00:20
Welcome to the resistance ResistanceWe fight for freedom and...
Shrek Forever After I'm poisonous I'm all poi I'll take him This order's to goHey I haven't removed his giblets yetTrust me you don't want to eat this oneI go down smooth but come out fighting - Shrek Forever After 00:14
I'm poisonous I'm all poi I'll take him This...
Shrek Forever After OK I know you don't remember me butwe're married Hear me outAnd at the birthday party with some pigs and a puppetthe villagers wanted me to sign their pitchforksand this boy kept saying Do the roarThen I punched the cakes that the pigs ate and the next - Shrek Forever After 00:21
OK I know you don't remember me butwe're married...
Shrek Forever After Why don't you just tell her what you told meAbout how you're her true love and you came from an alternate universeWell while I'm at it why don't I tell herthat you're married to a fire breathing dragonand you have little mutant donkey dragon babiesI doYou - Shrek Forever After 00:20
Why don't you just tell her what you told meAbout how...
Shrek Forever After Puss what happened to you You got so fafancy Do I know youWell where's your hat Where's your beltYour wee little bootsBoots For a cat HaBut you're Puss in BootsMaybe onceBut that is a name I have outgrownThat's not the only thing you've outgrownHey I may - Shrek Forever After 00:39
Puss what happened to you You got so fafancy Do I know...
Shrek Forever After I am not believing what I have just witnessedBack there you and FionaThere was a spark a spark inside her heartI thought was long extinguishedIt was as if for one moment Fiona had actually found her true loveI am her true love I ended her curseYou know of - Shrek Forever After 00:57
I am not believing what I have just witnessedBack there you...
Shrek Forever After I know everything about youI know you sing so beautifully that birds explodeBig deal I know that when you sign your nameyou put a heart over the I So whatI know that when you see a shooting staryou cross your fingers on both handssquinch up your nose and - Shrek Forever After 00:44
I know everything about youI know you sing so beautifully...
Shrek Forever After I don't know Not much of a storybook endingThe noble Shrek turns himself in to save a bunch of filthy ogresAll that matters is that they're freeand Fiona is safeI bet Fiona would be really touched to hear thatBut heyI guess you can tell her - Shrek Forever After 00:57
I don't know Not much of a storybook endingThe noble...
Shrek Forever After You know I always thoughtthat I rescued you from the Dragon's KeepYou didNo It was you that rescued me - Shrek Forever After 00:12
You know I always thoughtthat I rescued you from the...
Shrek the Halls It's finally here Tomorrow's Christmas Eve Got everything ready - Shrek the Halls 00:26
It's finally here Tomorrow's Christmas Eve Got...
Shrek the Halls Why didn't you say so That's super - Shrek the Halls 00:10
Why didn't you say so That's super
Shrek the Halls I don't know I better get back to the house - Shrek the Halls 00:06
I don't know I better get back to the house
Shrek the Halls Well that's a real nice way to treat your guests on Christmas - Shrek the Halls 00:24
Well that's a real nice way to treat your guests on...
Amsterdam We make the finest prosthetic glass - Amsterdam 00:12
We make the finest prosthetic glass
Scared Shrekless Oh wow Terrifying - Scared Shrekless 00:09
Oh wow Terrifying
Scared Shrekless Admit it Shrek - Scared Shrekless 00:09
Admit it Shrek
Scared Shrekless Ooh Let's do that again No - Scared Shrekless 00:09
Ooh Let's do that again No
Scared Shrekless The quicker I scare the wits out of you lot - Scared Shrekless 00:09
The quicker I scare the wits out of you lot
Scared Shrekless I hear you've been expecting me - Scared Shrekless 00:09
I hear you've been expecting me
Scared Shrekless Do I look like the kind of guy that knows a lullaby - Scared Shrekless 00:09
Do I look like the kind of guy that knows a lullaby
Scared Shrekless I'm too young to have termites - Scared Shrekless 00:09
I'm too young to have termites
Scared Shrekless Well Donkey looks like it's just you and me - Scared Shrekless 00:09
Well Donkey looks like it's just you and me
Bohemian Rhapsody Camera two No one wants to see this - Bohemian Rhapsody 00:04
Camera two No one wants to see this
Bohemian Rhapsody Are you aware that no one actually likes opera - Bohemian Rhapsody 00:06
Are you aware that no one actually likes opera
Bohemian Rhapsody BohemianRhapsodyRhapsody What is thatIt's an epic poem It goes on foreverSix bloody minutesI pity your wife if you think six minutes is foreverAnd do you know whatWe're going to release it as our singleNot possible Anything over three minutesand the radio - Bohemian Rhapsody 00:30
BohemianRhapsodyRhapsody What is thatIt's an epic poem...
Bohemian Rhapsody It's an epic poem It goes on foreverSix bloody minutesI pity your wife if you think six minutes is forever - Bohemian Rhapsody 00:08
It's an epic poem It goes on foreverSix bloody minutesI...
Bohemian Rhapsody And what on earth is it about anywayScaramoucheGalileoAnd all that Ismillah businessIshmillahBismillah - Bohemian Rhapsody 00:15
And what on earth is it about anywayScaramoucheGalileoAnd...
Bohemian Rhapsody Bismillah BullshitI paid for this record so I say what goes - Bohemian Rhapsody 00:07
Bismillah BullshitI paid for this record so I say what goes
Bohemian Rhapsody I say what goes - Bohemian Rhapsody 00:05
I say what goes
Bohemian Rhapsody Mark these wordsIf they're not carefulby the end of the yearno one will know the name QueenChristYou can take that out of our royaltiesTwat WankerYou can shove your gold disksYou made a mistake FosterArseholeYou'll never have a gold diskyou medium - Bohemian Rhapsody 00:30
Mark these wordsIf they're not carefulby the end of the...
Bohemian Rhapsody We want to do something different - Bohemian Rhapsody 00:14
We want to do something different