Clips with Woody Allen

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The Front What are you some kind of romantic - The Front 00:13
What are you some kind of romantic
The Front I like swimming No swimming's not a sport - The Front 00:10
I like swimming No swimming's not a sport
The Front Relax will you You're going off the deep end - The Front 00:08
Relax will you You're going off the deep end
The Front You come bursting in here - The Front 00:25
You come bursting in here
The Front Oh Jesus - The Front 00:23
Oh Jesus
The Front A writer looks for trouble - The Front 00:07
A writer looks for trouble
The Front Watch your step around this place - The Front 00:25
Watch your step around this place
The Front Hey I tried to get us tickets - The Front 00:19
Hey I tried to get us tickets
The Front Now this friend of yours - The Front 00:19
Now this friend of yours
The Front Yeah I still don't see why we can't fix it - The Front 00:12
Yeah I still don't see why we can't fix it
The Front Do you want a drink - The Front 00:10
Do you want a drink
The Front I'm not a writer Florence - The Front 00:16
I'm not a writer Florence
The Front Do you know Alfred Miller the writer - The Front 00:26
Do you know Alfred Miller the writer
The Front Fellas - The Front 00:25
Fellas
Annie Hall As Balzac said - Annie Hall 00:15
As Balzac said
Annie Hall You're what Grammy Hall would call a real Jew - Annie Hall 00:16
You're what Grammy Hall would call a real Jew
Annie Hall That's a polite word for what you are - Annie Hall 00:35
That's a polite word for what you are
Annie Hall Two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resortOne says The food at this place is really terribleThe other says I know and such small portionsThat's essentially how I feel about lifefull of loneliness misery suffering and unhappinessand it's all over - Annie Hall 00:43
Two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resortOne says...
Annie Hall Lately the strangest things have been going through my mindbecause I turned 40 and I guess I'm going through a life crisisI'm not worried about aging I'm not one of those charactersBut I'm balding slightly on top That's about the worst you can say about - Annie Hall 00:35
Lately the strangest things have been going through my...
Annie Hall Annie and I broke up and I still can't get my mind around thatI keep sifting the pieces of the relationship through my mindexamining my life and trying to figure out where did the screw up comeA year ago we were in love - Annie Hall 00:17
Annie and I broke up and I still can't get my mind...
Annie Hall I remember the staff at our public schoolWe had a saying Those who can't do teachand those who can't teach teach gymAnd those who couldn't do anything I think were assigned to our school - Annie Hall 00:16
I remember the staff at our public schoolWe had a saying...
Annie Hall In 1942 I had already discovered womenHe kissed meThat's the second time this month Step up hereWhat did I do Step up hereWhat did I do You should be ashamed of yourselfWhy I was just expressing a healthy sexual curiositySix year old boys don't have girls - Annie Hall 00:33
In 1942 I had already discovered womenHe kissed...
Annie Hall Sometimes I wonder where my classmates are todayI'm president of the Pinkus Plumbing CompanyI sell tallithsI used to be a heroin addict now I'm a methadone addictI'm into leather - Annie Hall 00:21
Sometimes I wonder where my classmates are todayI'm...
Annie Hall They did not take me in the armyI was 4 PIn the event of war I'm a hostage - Annie Hall 00:11
They did not take me in the armyI was 4 PIn the event of war...
Annie Hall You're a total paranoidHow am I a paranoid I pick up on those kind of thingsI was having lunch with guys from NBC so I said Did you eat yetTom Christie said No Jew Not Did youNot Did you eat but Jew eat You get it - Annie Hall 00:20
You're a total paranoidHow am I a paranoid I pick up on...
Annie Hall You keep bringing it up but I don't want to live in a citywhere the only cultural advantage is you can make a right turn on a red light - Annie Hall 00:09
You keep bringing it up but I don't want to live in a...
Annie Hall Jesus what did you do Come by way of the Panama CanalI'm in a bad mood I'm here with the Godfather cast - Annie Hall 00:08
Jesus what did you do Come by way of the Panama...
Annie Hall Has the picture started Two minutes agoThat's it Forget it I can't go inTwo minutes We've blown it alreadyI can't go in in the middleIn the middle We've only missed the titles They're in Swedish - Annie Hall 00:16
Has the picture started Two minutes agoThat's it Forget...
Annie Hall Let's see The Sorrow and the Pity We've seen itI'm not in the mood to see a four hour documentary on Nazis - Annie Hall 00:07
Let's see The Sorrow and the Pity We've seen...
Annie Hall I'm sorryI've got to see a picture exactly from start to finish 'cause I'm analThat's a polite word for what you are - Annie Hall 00:11
I'm sorryI've got to see a picture exactly from...
Annie Hall We saw the Fellini film last Tuesday It is not one of his bestIt lacks a cohesive structureYou get the feeling he's not absolutely sure what it is he wants to sayI've always felt he was essentially a technical filmmakerGranted La Strada was a great - Annie Hall 00:43
We saw the Fellini film last Tuesday It is not one of his...
Annie Hall What are you depressed about I missed my therapy I oversleptHow can you possibly oversleepThe alarm clockYou know what a hostile gesture that is to me - Annie Hall 00:12
What are you depressed about I missed my therapy I...
Annie Hall You know what a hostile gesture that is to meI know Because of our sexual problem rightEverybody in line has to know our rate of intercourse - Annie Hall 00:11
You know what a hostile gesture that is to meI know Because...
Annie Hall They're probably on their first dateProbably met by answering an ad in the New York Review of BooksThirtyish academic wishes to meet womanwho's interested in Mozart James Joyce and sodomy - Annie Hall 00:14
They're probably on their first dateProbably met by...
Annie Hall What do you mean our sexual problemI'm comparatively normal for a guy raised in BrooklynI'm sorry My sexual problem Okay My sexual problemI never read that That was Henry James' sequel to Turn of the Screw - Annie Hall 00:15
What do you mean our sexual problemI'm comparatively...
Annie Hall What I wouldn't give for a large sock with horse manure in itWhat do you do when you get stuck on a movie line with a guy like thisWait Why can't I give my opinion It's a free countryHe can Do you have to give it so loudAren't you ashamed to pontificate - Annie Hall 00:52
What I wouldn't give for a large sock with horse manure...
Annie Hall I know Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under tortureYou You kiddingThe Gestapo would take away your charge card and you'd tell 'em everything - Annie Hall 00:12
I know Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under...
Annie Hall It's always some kind of an excuse You used to think I was very sexyWhen we first started going out we had sex constantlyWe're probably listed in The Guinness Book of World Records - Annie Hall 00:11
It's always some kind of an excuse You used to think I...
Annie Hall No I'm doing my thesis On whatPolitical commitment in 20th century literatureYou're like New York Jewish left wing intellectualCentral Park West Brandeis University socialist summer campsand the father with the Ben Shahn drawingsreally strike orientedStop - Annie Hall 00:33
No I'm doing my thesis On whatPolitical commitment in...
Annie Hall Lyndon Johnson is a politicianYou know the ethics those guys have It's a notch underneath child molester - Annie Hall 00:09
Lyndon Johnson is a politicianYou know the ethics those guys...
Annie Hall Then everybody's in on the conspiracyThe FBI and the CIA and J Edgar Hoover the oil companiesthe Pentagon the men's room attendant at the White HouseI would leave out the men's room attendant - Annie Hall 00:16
Then everybody's in on the conspiracyThe FBI and the...
Annie Hall Oh my God She's rightWhy did I turn off Allison PortchnikShe was beautiful She was willing She was real intelligentIs it the old Groucho Marx jokethat I don't want to belong to any club that would have me for a member - Annie Hall 00:19
Oh my God She's rightWhy did I turn off Allison...
Annie Hall Annie there's a big lobster behind the refrigeratorI can't get it out This thing's heavyMaybe if I put a dish of butter sauce here it'll run out the other side - Annie Hall 00:12
Annie there's a big lobster behind the refrigeratorI...
Annie Hall You're pretty lucky I came along Oh really La de dahIf anyone ever told me that I'd be taking out a girlwho used expressions like la de dah - Annie Hall 00:13
You're pretty lucky I came along Oh really La de dahIf...
Annie Hall There's Henry DruckerHe has a Chair in History at PrincetonThe short man is Hershel Kaminsky He has a Chair in Philosophy at CornellTwo more chairs they got a dining room set - Annie Hall 00:12
There's Henry DruckerHe has a Chair in History at...
Annie Hall I'm so tired of spending eveningsmaking fake insights with people who work for DysenteryCommentaryI heard Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysentery - Annie Hall 00:11
I'm so tired of spending eveningsmaking fake insights...
Annie Hall Two minutes ago the Knicks are ahead 14 pointsand now they're ahead two pointsAlvy what is so fascinatingabout a group of pituitary cases trying to stuff a ball through a hoopWhat is fascinating is that it's physicalThat's one thing about - Annie Hall 00:24
Two minutes ago the Knicks are ahead 14 pointsand now...
Annie Hall It'll be great because all those Ph D s are in there discussingmodes of alienation and we'll be in here quietly humpingDon't You're using sex to express hostilityWhy do you always reduce my animal urges to psychoanalytic categorieshe said as he removed - Annie Hall 00:31
It'll be great because all those Ph D s are in there...
Annie Hall The failure of the country to get behind New York City is anti SemitismMax the city is terribly runI'm not discussing politics or economics This is foreskin - Annie Hall 00:11
The failure of the country to get behind New York City is...
Annie Hall The rest of the country looks upon New Yorklike we're left wing communist Jewish homosexual pornographersI think of us that way sometimes and I live here - Annie Hall 00:11
The rest of the country looks upon New Yorklike we're...
Annie Hall Sun is bad for you Everything our parents said was good is badSun milk red meat college - Annie Hall 00:08
Sun is bad for you Everything our parents said was good is...
Annie Hall You play very well - Annie Hall 00:23
You play very well
Annie Hall That's okay we can walk to the curb from here - Annie Hall 00:05
That's okay we can walk to the curb from here
Annie Hall This tie is a present from Grammy HallWho Grammy HallYeah my grammyWhat did you do grow up in a Norman Rockwell painting Your grammy - Annie Hall 00:14
This tie is a present from Grammy HallWho Grammy HallYeah my...
Annie Hall It's pretty silly isn't it My grammy never gave giftsShe was too busy getting raped by Cossacks - Annie Hall 00:09
It's pretty silly isn't it My grammy never gave...
Annie Hall You see an analystJust for 15 years 15 yearsI'm going to give him one more year and then I'm going to Lourdes - Annie Hall 00:10
You see an analystJust for 15 years 15 yearsI'm going...
Annie Hall Sylvia Plath Interesting poetess whose tragic suicidewas misinterpreted as romantic by the college girl mentality - Annie Hall 00:09
Sylvia Plath Interesting poetess whose tragic suicidewas...
Annie Hall Right I don't know I mean some of her poems seem neatNeat I hate to tell you this is 1975Neat went out at the turn of the century - Annie Hall 00:12
Right I don't know I mean some of her poems seem...
Annie Hall You don't have to But I'm all perspired and everythingDidn't you take a shower at the clubNo no I never shower in a public placeWhy notI don't like to get naked in front of another manI seeI don't like to show my body to a man of my gender - Annie Hall 00:22
You don't have to But I'm all perspired and...
Annie Hall You're what Grammy Hall would call a real JewThank youShe hates Jews She thinks they just make moneyBut she's the one is she ever I'm telling you - Annie Hall 00:16
You're what Grammy Hall would call a real JewThank...
Annie Hall Listen give me a kiss ReallyWhy not Because we're just going to go home laterThere's going to be all that tension We've never kissed beforeI'll never know when to make the right moveWe'll kiss now and get it over with and then we'll go eat OkayWe'll - Annie Hall 00:18
Listen give me a kiss ReallyWhy not Because we're just...
Annie Hall Corned beef pleaseI'm having pastrami on white breadwith mayonnaise tomatoes and lettuce - Annie Hall 00:10
Corned beef pleaseI'm having pastrami on white...
Annie Hall You were greatOh yeah YeahYeah I'm wrecked You're wreckedI mean it I'll never play the piano again - Annie Hall 00:15
You were greatOh yeah YeahYeah I'm wrecked You're...
Annie Hall Good Yes No that was the most fun I've had without laughing - Annie Hall 00:07
Good Yes No that was the most fun I've had without...
Annie Hall Here you want someNo I don't use any major hallucinogenicsI took a puff about five years ago at a partyand tried to take my pants off over my head - Annie Hall 00:17
Here you want someNo I don't use any major...
Annie Hall I feel that life is divided up into the horrible and the miserableThose are the two categoriesThe horrible would be like terminal cases and blind people cripplesI don't know how they get through life It's amazing to meAnd the miserable is everyone elseSo - Annie Hall 00:23
I feel that life is divided up into the horrible and the...
Annie Hall You know what you are You're polymorphously perverseWhat does that mean I don't know what that isYou're exceptional in bedbecause you get pleasure in every part of your body when I touch itLike the tip of your nose and if I stroke your teeth or your knee - Annie Hall 00:25
You know what you are You're polymorphously...
Annie Hall Love is too weak a word for what I lurve youI loave you I luff you with two f sOf course I do Don't you think I do - Annie Hall 00:14
Love is too weak a word for what I lurve youI loave you I...
Annie Hall Does this sound like a good course Modern American PoetryOr let's seemaybe I should take Introduction to the NovelJust don't take any course where they make you read Beowulf - Annie Hall 00:16
Does this sound like a good course Modern American PoetryOr...
Annie Hall What do you think Should we go to that party in South HamptonNo don't be silly What do we need other people forWe should just turn out the lights and play hide the salam or something - Annie Hall 00:15
What do you think Should we go to that party in South...