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"Airplane!" quotes

Airplane! poster
The persons and events in this film are fictitious – fortunately! A masterpiece of off-the-wall comedy, Airplane! features Robert Hays as an ex-fighter pilot forced to take over the controls of an airliner when the flight crew succumbs to food poisoning; Julie Hagerty as his girlfriend/stewardess/co-pilot; and a cast of all-stars including Robert Stack, Lloyd Bridges, Peter Graves, Leslie Nielsen, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar... and more. Their hilarious high jinks spoof airplane disaster flicks, religious zealots, television commercials, romantic love... the list whirls by in rapid succession, and the story races from one moment of zany fun to the next.

Director: Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker
Writer: Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy
Year: 1980
MetaScore: 78/100
ImdbRating: 7.7
BoxOffice: $83,453,539
Released: 02 Jul 1980
Awards: Nominated for 1 BAFTA Award3 wins & 7 nominations total
There is no stopping in the white zone - Airplane! 03:00 There is no stopping in the white zone We're all counting on you - Airplane! 00:20 We're all counting on you What are you doing here - Airplane! 00:26 What are you doing here White courtesy phone - Airplane! 00:36 White courtesy phone Would you gentlemen care to order your dinners - Airplane! 00:37 Would you gentlemen care to order your dinners Flight 2 0 9'er - Airplane! 00:44 Flight 2 0 9'er I don't have anything to say - Airplane! 02:48 I don't have anything to say It takes so many things to make love last - Airplane! 00:31 It takes so many things to make love last Nervous - Airplane! 00:11 Nervous Joey have you ever been in a - Airplane! 00:07 Joey have you ever been in a Can you fly this plane and land it - Airplane! 00:09 Can you fly this plane and land it Wait a minute I know you - Airplane! 00:36 Wait a minute I know you Excuse me - Airplane! 00:23 Excuse me Captain how soon can you land I can't tell - Airplane! 00:16 Captain how soon can you land I can't tell Randy are you all right - Airplane! 00:32 Randy are you all right Ladies and gentlemen this is your stewardess speaking - Airplane! 00:23 Ladies and gentlemen this is your stewardess speaking Would you like something to read Do you have anything light - Airplane! 00:12 Would you like something to read Do you have anything light Can I get you something - Airplane! 00:37 Can I get you something Jim never vomits at home - Airplane! 00:04 Jim never vomits at home You got a telegram from headquarters today - Airplane! 00:36 You got a telegram from headquarters today The life of everyone onboard depends upon just one thing - Airplane! 00:10 The life of everyone onboard depends upon just one thing Sure You ever been in a cockpit before - Airplane! 00:10 Sure You ever been in a cockpit before Bad news The fog is getting thicker - Airplane! 00:09 Bad news The fog is getting thicker Shana they bought their tickets - Airplane! 00:11 Shana they bought their tickets No wonder you're upset - Airplane! 00:20 No wonder you're upset Our one hope is to build this man up - Airplane! 00:15 Our one hope is to build this man up What kind of plane is it - Airplane! 00:11 What kind of plane is it Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home - Airplane! 00:05 Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home I want every light you can get poured onto that field - Airplane! 00:05 I want every light you can get poured onto that field Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking - Airplane! 00:05 Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking What is it Doctor What's going on I'm not sure - Airplane! 00:09 What is it Doctor What's going on I'm not sure It takes so many things to make love last - Airplane! 00:19 It takes so many things to make love last Because of my mistake six men didn't return from that raid - Airplane! 00:10 Because of my mistake six men didn't return from that... I won't deceive you Mr Striker - Airplane! 00:13 I won't deceive you Mr Striker That's Lieutenant Hurwitz - Airplane! 00:28 That's Lieutenant Hurwitz It was at that moment that I first realized - Airplane! 00:11 It was at that moment that I first realized Passengers certain to die - Airplane! 00:09 Passengers certain to die Mayday Mayday What the hell is that for - Airplane! 00:08 Mayday Mayday What the hell is that for Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked - Airplane! 00:13 Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get... Captain maybe we ought to turn on the searchlights now - Airplane! 00:12 Captain maybe we ought to turn on the searchlights now I haven't felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film - Airplane! 00:05 I haven't felt this awful since we saw that Ronald... Don't be a fool Striker - Airplane! 00:17 Don't be a fool Striker Let's see - Airplane! 00:18 Let's see DJ WZAZ in Chicago where disco lives forever - Airplane! 00:06 DJ WZAZ in Chicago where disco lives forever Gunderson check the radar range Anything yet - Airplane! 00:16 Gunderson check the radar range Anything yet Get that finger out of your ear - Airplane! 00:06 Get that finger out of your ear The oil pressure I forgot to check the oil pressure - Airplane! 00:09 The oil pressure I forgot to check the oil pressure No I don't have a thing to say - Airplane! 00:36 No I don't have a thing to say I've got to concentrate - Airplane! 00:23 I've got to concentrate No we can't do that The risk of a flameout's too great - Airplane! 00:10 No we can't do that The risk of a flameout's too... My orders came through - Airplane! 00:17 My orders came through He's coming right at us - Airplane! 00:04 He's coming right at us Extremely serious - Airplane! 00:31 Extremely serious Okay boys Let's get some pictures - Airplane! 00:05 Okay boys Let's get some pictures Smoking or nonsmoking Smoking please - Airplane! 00:05 Smoking or nonsmoking Smoking please It was a rough place the seediest dive on the wharf - Airplane! 00:12 It was a rough place the seediest dive on the wharf Where did you get that dress It's awful - Airplane! 00:08 Where did you get that dress It's awful Striker you listen and you listen close - Airplane! 00:12 Striker you listen and you listen close Your husband and the others are alive but unconscious - Airplane! 00:06 Your husband and the others are alive but unconscious He's all over the place - Airplane! 00:07 He's all over the place Later we'll run down the landing procedure - Airplane! 00:05 Later we'll run down the landing procedure There he is - Airplane! 00:11 There he is All right I'll need three men up in the tower - Airplane! 00:08 All right I'll need three men up in the tower Ease off Rex He hasn't flown for years - Airplane! 00:14 Ease off Rex He hasn't flown for years CONTROLLER Air Israel please clear the runway - Airplane! 00:05 CONTROLLER Air Israel please clear the runway But that's not important right now - Airplane! 00:12 But that's not important right now What can you make out of this - Airplane! 00:12 What can you make out of this Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue - Airplane! 00:10 Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue What was it we had for dinner tonight - Airplane! 00:12 What was it we had for dinner tonight Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines - Airplane! 00:06 Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines But I have an emergency call on line five from a Mr - Airplane! 00:15 But I have an emergency call on line five from a Mr I'll give him another twenty minutes - Airplane! 00:06 I'll give him another twenty minutes I flew single engine fighters in the Air Force - Airplane! 00:14 I flew single engine fighters in the Air Force Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking - Airplane! 00:08 Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking Auntie Em Uncle Henry Toto It's a twister It's a twister - Airplane! 00:06 Auntie Em Uncle Henry Toto It's a twister It's a... Do you like movies about gladiators - Airplane! 00:05 Do you like movies about gladiators Just kidding - Airplane! 00:04 Just kidding He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air - Airplane! 00:17 He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air The tower The tower - Airplane! 00:10 The tower The tower What's going on We have a right to know the truth - Airplane! 00:27 What's going on We have a right to know the truth You're a member of this crew - Airplane! 00:13 You're a member of this crew Ted What are you doing here You can't fly this plane - Airplane! 00:22 Ted What are you doing here You can't fly this plane It's a damn good thing you don't know how much he hates your guts - Airplane! 00:14 It's a damn good thing you don't know how much he... How 'bout some more coffee - Airplane! 00:10 How 'bout some more coffee There's juice in the refrigerator - Airplane! 00:06 There's juice in the refrigerator Hello We'd like you to have this flower - Airplane! 00:16 Hello We'd like you to have this flower I want the best available man on this - Airplane! 00:16 I want the best available man on this Elaine you're a member of this crew - Airplane! 00:13 Elaine you're a member of this crew R e s p e c t find out what it means to me - Airplane! 00:17 R e s p e c t find out what it means to me

Cast

Roger Murdock - Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Steve McCroskey - Lloyd Bridges
Captain Clarence Oveur - Peter Graves
Elaine Dickinson - Julie Hagerty
Ted Striker - Robert Hays