Hey, now, that's a good idea, Mel. Using little old ladies for skycaps. You keep that up....

[an elderly woman walks by carrying her luggage] Capt. Vernon Demerest: Hey, now, that's a good idea, Mel. Using little old ladies for skycaps. You keep that up. You're doing a good job. Sarah Bakersfeld Demerest: [after Vernon leaves] For my sake, be patient with him. Mel Bakersfeld: How you can live with that overage juvenile delinquent, I'll never know. Sarah Bakersfeld Demerest: There's just the two of us. If I left him, what would I have? Mel Bakersfeld: Would you have any more if he decided to leave you? Sarah Bakersfeld Demerest: He won't. The moment a girl gets too serious, he waves his wedding ring like a flag. I'm his disaster insurance. Mel Bakersfeld: More like group insurance! Sarah Bakersfeld Demerest: Thanks for caring, Mel. Don't worry. Someday he'll come home for some other reason than to just change his clothes. Mel Bakersfeld: Well, I hope so.

(WOMAN SPEAKING ITALIAN) BUS DRIVER: $2. That's highway robbery. Why the airlines don't provide free transportation, I'll never know. Look, mister, I don't own the bus. I just drive it. $2. You're holding up the line. Here. Here. VERNON: Hi, Anson. What are you doing here so early? Trying to impress your check pilot? I thought you'd give me an "A" for effort. No. We're using 324 tonight. On her last flight, number two engine gave them some trouble. I want to see what Maintenance did about it. Hope they gave us a new one. They even replaced all the wiring. Just to be on the safe side. That's the side I like to be on. What's the matter? I was just thinking about the last time you checked me out. You marked me down for not wearing a regulation shirt. I was just hoping to get even. Not a chance. Knowing how tough you can be, tonight I even polished my wings. (SIREN WAILING) Thanks, fellas. I tried to get some more help, but no luck. I only got 20 men out there. I knew you'd blow it. So I did a little phoning from my car. I got 50. Where'd you get them from? Braniff, Delta, Continental. We're not like the stiffs in the front office who wear ties and spend their time stealing passengers from each other.