So, what'll it be, Master? You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want, right? Uh,...

Genie: So, what'll it be, Master? Aladdin: You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want, right? Genie: [as William F. Buckley] Uh, almost. There are a few, uh, provisos, a, a couple of quid pro quos. Aladdin: Like? Genie: [normal] Uh, rule #1: I can't kill anybody. [cuts his head off] Genie: So don't ask. Genie: [fixes his head] Uh, rule #2: I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else. [turns into a pair of lips and kisses Aladdin] Genie: You little punim there. Genie: [turns into a cross between slimy Genie and Peter Lorre] Rule #3: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it! [he returns to normal] Genie: Other than that, you got it.

Ah, Master, there are a few addendas, some quid pro quos... Don't talk back to me, you big blue lout. You will do what I order you to do, slave. JASMINE: Jafar. I never realised how incredibly handsome you are. Mmm. That's better. Now, pussycat, tell me more about myself. You're tall, dark, well dressed... AI. AI, little buddy. Shh. Al, I can't help you. I work for Señor Psychopath now. What are you gonna do? Hey, I'm a street rat, remember? I'll improvise. JASMINE: Cute little gaps between your teeth. Go on. And your beard is so twisted.