Log-in to add movie to favourites

Movie added to favourites

Movie removed from favourites

Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Ali Wong might be seven-months pregnant, but there’s not a fetus in the world that can stop this acerbic and savage train of comedy from delivering a masterful hour of stand-up.

Year

Genre

Production

New Wave Entertainment

Homepage

https://www.netflix.com/title/80101493

Cast information not available.

No reviews yet

Be the first to share your thoughts on this movie

Explore 322 Clips

So, you better hold onto
that retainer from the third grade, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

So, you better hold onto that retainer from the third grade,

The last time I was at home
in San Francisco, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

The last time I was at home in San Francisco,

Don't ever do that with your mom. It was
like the worst experience of my life. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Don't ever do that with your mom. It was like the worst...

We were screaming and fighting
and yelling and it all came to a climax - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

We were screaming and fighting and yelling and it all came t...

Those of you under 25 - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Those of you under 25

It was this calculator
that bamboozled my generation. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

It was this calculator that bamboozled my generation.

We were all required to buy it
when we were in eight grade. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

We were all required to buy it when we were in eight grade.

It cost like $200. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

It cost like $200.

And everybody thought it was like
this Judy Jetson's laptop from the future. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

And everybody thought it was like this Judy Jetson's la...

And my mom got so emotional
about the manual - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

And my mom got so emotional about the manual

That I'm gonna have to
clean all this shit up when you die." - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

That I'm gonna have to clean all this shit up when you ...

Because according to Deepak-Oprah, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Because according to Deepak-Oprah,

To a man who now has HPV. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

To a man who now has HPV.

That will also last forever. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

That will also last forever.

No, really. I'm the lucky girl, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

No, really. I'm the lucky girl,

You wanna be a grown-ass woman,
stop dating skaters. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

You wanna be a grown-ass woman, stop dating skaters.

Stop dating skaters unless you
wanna wake up on a mattress in a kitchen. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Stop dating skaters unless you wanna wake up on a mattress i...

They're sexy on the outside,
malt liquor on the inside. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

They're sexy on the outside, malt liquor on the inside.

But my husband, I first met him
at this wedding - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

But my husband, I first met him at this wedding

And I was like, "Oh, my God,
I'm gonna trap his ass." - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

And I was like, "Oh, my God, I'm gonna trap his as...

"Going to trap his ass!" - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

"Going to trap his ass!"

So I was like, "All right, Ali,
you gotta make this dude believe - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

So I was like, "All right, Ali, you gotta make this dud...

I thought they were hipsters, OK? - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

I thought they were hipsters, OK?

That store Urban Outfitters
has made things very confusing... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

That store Urban Outfitters has made things very confusing.....

It happened in San Francisco,
when I was living there, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

It happened in San Francisco, when I was living there,

He was like, "Hey, wassup?" - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

He was like, "Hey, wassup?"

And then after we were done,
he was like, "Hey, can you drop me off?" - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

And then after we were done, he was like, "Hey, can you...

Which a lot of people are shocked by, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Which a lot of people are shocked by,

You go to any hipster neighborhood
in a major city in America - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

You go to any hipster neighborhood in a major city in Americ...

It's... too much. I don't know
what's wrong with these bitches. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

It's... too much. I don't know what's wrong w...

I get it, you know,
because being with a white dude - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

I get it, you know, because being with a white dude

You feel very picturesque
when you're with a white dude, you know. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

You feel very picturesque when you're with a white dude...

And you know, white dudes, they
teach you about a lot of cool stuff - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

And you know, white dudes, they teach you about a lot of coo...

They introduce you
to cool stuff like that - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

They introduce you to cool stuff like that

I mean, nothing makes me feel
more powerful - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

I mean, nothing makes me feel more powerful

I just feel like I'm absorbing
all of that privilege - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

I just feel like I'm absorbing all of that privilege

You know, just right there,
through the money hole and just... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

You know, just right there, through the money hole and just....

I'm, like, "I could just crush your head
at any moment, white man! - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

I'm, like, "I could just crush your head at any mo...

I could just kill you right now!
Crush those brains! - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

I could just kill you right now! Crush those brains!

But I think that for marriage, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

But I think that for marriage,

The advantage is that
you get to go home... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

The advantage is that you get to go home...

My husband, half-Filipino, half-Japanese. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

My husband, half-Filipino, half-Japanese.

I'm half-Chinese and half-Vietnamese. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

I'm half-Chinese and half-Vietnamese.

And we spend 100 percent of our time
shitting on Korean people. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

And we spend 100 percent of our time shitting on Korean peop...

It's what love is built on, you know? - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

It's what love is built on, you know?

My last boyfriend was Cuban - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

My last boyfriend was Cuban

You guys aren't Mexican?" - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

You guys aren't Mexican?"

I don't know why people
don't go for them. They're the sexiest. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

I don't know why people don't go for them. They�...

They got no body hair from the neck down. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

They got no body hair from the neck down.

Oh, my God. It's so smooth,
just like a slip and slide. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Oh, my God. It's so smooth, just like a slip and slide.

Just black fish, Tilikum,
all up in my bed every night, you know? - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Just black fish, Tilikum, all up in my bed every night, you ...

You mess with a Jewish dude
and your body is all fucked up afterwards. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

You mess with a Jewish dude and your body is all fucked up a...

It's all red and inflamed
and you're like, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

It's all red and inflamed and you're like,

And then Asian men, no body odor. None. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

And then Asian men, no body odor. None.

I think my husband and I
have a huge unspoken understanding, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

I think my husband and I have a huge unspoken understanding,

So, we're both half-fancy Asian... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

So, we're both half-fancy Asian...

And half-jungle Asian. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

And half-jungle Asian.

They get to do fancy things
like host Olympics. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

They get to do fancy things like host Olympics.

But he grew up on the East Coast, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

But he grew up on the East Coast,

He grew up like Filipino Carlton, OK? - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

He grew up like Filipino Carlton, OK?

So, he didn't know anything
about Vietnamese people - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

So, he didn't know anything about Vietnamese people

And on one of our first dates, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

And on one of our first dates,

He was like, "It's authentic Vietnamese.
I read about it on Yelp!" - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

He was like, "It's authentic Vietnamese. I read ab...

If it was legit, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

If it was legit,

When I pee, I need to see
ten gallons of bleach, an ATM machine - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

When I pee, I need to see ten gallons of bleach, an ATM mach...

We need to leave this restaurant
deaf and emotionally abused. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

We need to leave this restaurant deaf and emotionally abused...

Him and I are both total, like,
private school Asians. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Him and I are both total, like, private school Asians.

That's right, we pay $800
to shut up for a weekend. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

That's right, we pay $800 to shut up for a weekend.

Uh, we eat gluten-free, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Uh, we eat gluten-free,

We eat that lesbian bread that's like... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

We eat that lesbian bread that's like...

A thousand percent
of your daily fiber... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

A thousand percent of your daily fiber...

When you eat it, you queef
a shitty poem about... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

When you eat it, you queef a shitty poem about...

And so, it's funny, right, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

And so, it's funny, right,

But sometimes, all of this
hippy-dippy shit we do... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

But sometimes, all of this hippy-dippy shit we do...

Makes me feel like we are white people - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Makes me feel like we are white people

Like, we have these Chinese scrolls
up on the wall... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Like, we have these Chinese scrolls up on the wall...

We're like, "Oh, that seems to go
very well with our Buddha piggy bank - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

We're like, "Oh, that seems to go very well with o...

Him and I had been dating for four years - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Him and I had been dating for four years

So, you know, I just had this
wacky women's intuition. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

So, you know, I just had this wacky women's intuition.

A woman has to incept the idea
into the man's head. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

A woman has to incept the idea into the man's head.

First passively and then
if he doesn't get the message, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

First passively and then if he doesn't get the message,

You gotta threaten to leave
without ever actually leaving, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

You gotta threaten to leave without ever actually leaving,

So, you're like, "I'm just gonna
stick with this dude, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

So, you're like, "I'm just gonna stick with t...

Fine, will you marry me?" - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Fine, will you marry me?"

And look, he got me
the exact ring I wanted. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

And look, he got me the exact ring I wanted.

Maybe he saw it
on my Pinterest page or something... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Maybe he saw it on my Pinterest page or something...

That I sent to my best friend,
that I told her to send to him every day." - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

That I sent to my best friend, that I told her to send to hi...

Let me tell you something.
If a man has a Pinterest page... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Let me tell you something. If a man has a Pinterest page...

We got engaged on a Saturday. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

We got engaged on a Saturday.

I bought my wedding dress
the following Tuesday... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

I bought my wedding dress the following Tuesday...

Ali Wong: Baby Cobra poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Ali Wong might be seven-months pregnant, but there’s not a fetus in the world that can stop this acerbic and savage train of comedy from delivering a masterful hour of stand-up.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director:

Writer:

Production: New Wave Entertainment

Genre: comedy

Year: 2016

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating:

BoxOffice:

Released:

Awards:

Homepage: https://www.netflix.com/title/80101493