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'Cause if I can talk
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Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

'Cause if I can talk, I'm gonna tell you what to do

'Cause if I can talk, I'm gonna tell you what to do

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.585
'Cause if I can talk,
00:00:02.071 --> 00:00:05.038
I'm gonna tell you what to do.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
13
Timestamp in Movie
00:35:29
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
New Wave Entertainment

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Movie Summary

Ali Wong might be seven-months pregnant, but there’s not a fetus in the world that can stop this acerbic and savage train of comedy from delivering a masterful hour of stand-up.
I'm the boss all the time, so, in the bedroom, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
I'm the boss all the time, so, in the bedroom,
Because I'm the real boss. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
Because I'm the real boss.
Sheryl Sandberg, that woman who wrote Lean In, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:21
Sheryl Sandberg, that woman who wrote Lean In,
So, now, instead of saying, "You're bossy," - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:16
So, now, instead of saying, "You're bossy,"
I'm just waiting for the right moment - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:08
I'm just waiting for the right moment
I want my husband to get us to, like, a certain point financially. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
I want my husband to get us to, like, a certain point financ...
I wanna get to the point as a couple - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:09
I wanna get to the point as a couple
Know what I'm talking about? I'm talking about that Whole Foods mango. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
Know what I'm talking about? I'm talking about tha...
That $10-a-box Whole Foods mango - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:07
That $10-a-box Whole Foods mango
That's the kind of income bracket I'm striving for. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
That's the kind of income bracket I'm striving for...
That's when you know you've made it, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:08
That's when you know you've made it,
Rebecca kiwi, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
Rebecca kiwi,
I wanna be able to take a stroll on a sidewalk, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:10
I wanna be able to take a stroll on a sidewalk,
I have some useful advice for all my Asian-American brothers and sisters. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
I have some useful advice for all my Asian-American brothers...
So, I don't know if you guys can tell, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:07
So, I don't know if you guys can tell,
It's very rare and unusual - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:11
It's very rare and unusual
Just try to think of one. I dare you. There's-- None of them. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
Just try to think of one. I dare you. There's-- None of...
Once they do get pregnant, they generally disappear. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
Once they do get pregnant, they generally disappear.
Once they have a baby, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:09
Once they have a baby,
That baby's a little piece of shit. It's so annoying and boring." - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:18
That baby's a little piece of shit. It's so annoyi...