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I gotta keep him around by keeping him down
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Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

I gotta keep him aroundby keeping him down

I gotta keep him around
by keeping him down

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.128
I gotta keep him around by keeping him down.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
17
Timestamp in Movie
00:55:46
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
New Wave Entertainment

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Movie Summary

Ali Wong might be seven-months pregnant, but there’s not a fetus in the world that can stop this acerbic and savage train of comedy from delivering a masterful hour of stand-up.
People don't tell you about all this shit that goes down with your body - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:07
People don't tell you about all this shit that goes dow...
I didn't know that they get dark so that the baby can see, like, a bullseye. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
I didn't know that they get dark so that the baby can s...
And then, you know, they get big-- they get big, like fingers. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
And then, you know, they get big-- they get big, like finger...
Like, "You, you. You owe me money, you." - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:11
Like, "You, you. You owe me money, you."
But I'm not gonna be one of those crazy pregnant ladies - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:09
But I'm not gonna be one of those crazy pregnant ladies
Hopefully, if you see me in a year, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:13
Hopefully, if you see me in a year,
Now that I'm seven and a half months pregnant, my pussy's all wet again. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
Now that I'm seven and a half months pregnant, my pussy...
But it's different. It's not like when I was 18 years old, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:07
But it's different. It's not like when I was 18 ye...
And I was like, "Why is it different?" And I looked it up, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:12
And I was like, "Why is it different?" And I looke...
When it's straight up soldier glue, when it's Neosporin. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
When it's straight up soldier glue, when it's Neos...
So, you know, I-- I, in-- - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:08
So, you know, I-- I, in--
And then, I meet this dream guy, who's, like, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:08
And then, I meet this dream guy, who's, like,
Got him to propose to me. Oh, my God, then we got married, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:13
Got him to propose to me. Oh, my God, then we got married,
And, uh, two weeks into the escrow process, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:14
And, uh, two weeks into the escrow process,
And me, with my hard-earned TV money, paid it all off. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:08
And me, with my hard-earned TV money, paid it all off.
So, as it turns out, he's the one who trapped me. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:07
So, as it turns out, he's the one who trapped me.
Oh! Maybe because he went to Harvard Business School, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:11
Oh! Maybe because he went to Harvard Business School,
And now, if I don't work, we die. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
And now, if I don't work, we die.
Why else do you think I'm performing seven and a half months pregnant? - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
Why else do you think I'm performing seven and a half m...
All right, I've been Ali Wong. Have a good night, everybody. Thank you. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
All right, I've been Ali Wong. Have a good night, every...