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I want to be able to smell my fingers
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Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

I want to be able to smell my fingers when I wanna smellmy own goddamn fingers

I want to be able to smell my fingers when I wanna smell
my own goddamn fingers

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.128
I want to be able to smell my fingers
00:00:04.211 --> 00:00:06.964
when I wanna smell my own goddamn fingers.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
18
Timestamp in Movie
00:46:30
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
New Wave Entertainment

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Movie Summary

Ali Wong might be seven-months pregnant, but there’s not a fetus in the world that can stop this acerbic and savage train of comedy from delivering a masterful hour of stand-up.
Housewives, they can just scratch and sniff all day long. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
Housewives, they can just scratch and sniff all day long.
They just vacuum, scratch, sniff. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
They just vacuum, scratch, sniff.
They make a sandwich. "Uh, mmm." - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:19
They make a sandwich. "Uh, mmm."
"smell my fingers?" - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:11
"smell my fingers?"
When my husband and I were trying to have a kid, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:08
When my husband and I were trying to have a kid,
You guys doin' a lot of fuckin'?" - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:09
You guys doin' a lot of fuckin'?"
When in-- When you're in your 30s, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:07
When in-- When you're in your 30s,
You pee on these ovulation strips that tell you when the eggs are droppin'. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
You pee on these ovulation strips that tell you when the egg...
It was, like, only four days out of the month, and outside of that, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:09
It was, like, only four days out of the month, and outside o...
I want your sperm to be as pent-up, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:09
I want your sperm to be as pent-up,
So that, when they come out, it's like, 'Release the Kraken!'" - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:13
So that, when they come out, it's like, 'Release t...
Yeah, and most of the time, like, we wouldn't even have sex, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:19
Yeah, and most of the time, like, we wouldn't even have...
When somebody closes their eyes during sex, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:11
When somebody closes their eyes during sex,
When somebody closes their eyes during sex, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:16
When somebody closes their eyes during sex,
Which is fine by me, because then - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:19
Which is fine by me, because then
Where they look like they just got bit by a zombie, just... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:07
Where they look like they just got bit by a zombie, just...
Please look me in the eye and remember to come with intention, OK?" - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:13
Please look me in the eye and remember to come with intentio...
And do some of this shit that I learned in Atlanta. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
And do some of this shit that I learned in Atlanta.
And then I would turn upside down immediately afterwards... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
And then I would turn upside down immediately afterwards...
To make sure all of that Harvard nectar would just drain inside of me. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
To make sure all of that Harvard nectar would just drain ins...