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Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

If it was legit, the bathroom would doubleas a supply closet

If it was legit, the bathroom would double
as a supply closet

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.335
If it was legit,
00:00:02.418 --> 00:00:05.088
the bathroom would double as a supply closet.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
21
Timestamp in Movie
00:16:02
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
New Wave Entertainment

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Movie Summary

Ali Wong might be seven-months pregnant, but there’s not a fetus in the world that can stop this acerbic and savage train of comedy from delivering a masterful hour of stand-up.
When I pee, I need to see ten gallons of bleach, an ATM machine - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:10
When I pee, I need to see ten gallons of bleach, an ATM mach...
We need to leave this restaurant deaf and emotionally abused. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
We need to leave this restaurant deaf and emotionally abused...
Him and I are both total, like, private school Asians. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
Him and I are both total, like, private school Asians.
That's right, we pay $800 to shut up for a weekend. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
That's right, we pay $800 to shut up for a weekend.
Uh, we eat gluten-free, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:08
Uh, we eat gluten-free,
We eat that lesbian bread that's like... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
We eat that lesbian bread that's like...
A thousand percent of your daily fiber... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
A thousand percent of your daily fiber...
When you eat it, you queef a shitty poem about... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
When you eat it, you queef a shitty poem about...
And so, it's funny, right, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:07
And so, it's funny, right,
But sometimes, all of this hippy-dippy shit we do... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
But sometimes, all of this hippy-dippy shit we do...
Makes me feel like we are white people - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:08
Makes me feel like we are white people
Like, we have these Chinese scrolls up on the wall... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
Like, we have these Chinese scrolls up on the wall...
We're like, "Oh, that seems to go very well with our Buddha piggy bank - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:10
We're like, "Oh, that seems to go very well with o...
Him and I had been dating for four years - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:14
Him and I had been dating for four years
So, you know, I just had this wacky women's intuition. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
So, you know, I just had this wacky women's intuition.
A woman has to incept the idea into the man's head. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
A woman has to incept the idea into the man's head.
First passively and then if he doesn't get the message, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:07
First passively and then if he doesn't get the message,
You gotta threaten to leave without ever actually leaving, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:14
You gotta threaten to leave without ever actually leaving,
So, you're like, "I'm just gonna stick with this dude, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:16
So, you're like, "I'm just gonna stick with t...
Fine, will you marry me?" - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:16
Fine, will you marry me?"