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Ali Wong: Baby Cobra

Those of you under 25 probably don't knowwhat that calculator is

Those of you under 25 probably don't know
what that calculator is

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.835
Those of you under 25
00:00:02.918 --> 00:00:05.629
probably don't know what that calculator is.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
23
Timestamp in Movie
00:05:50
Uploaded
Nov 02, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
New Wave Entertainment

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Movie Summary

Ali Wong might be seven-months pregnant, but there’s not a fetus in the world that can stop this acerbic and savage train of comedy from delivering a masterful hour of stand-up.
It was this calculator that bamboozled my generation. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
It was this calculator that bamboozled my generation.
We were all required to buy it when we were in eight grade. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
We were all required to buy it when we were in eight grade.
It cost like $200. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
It cost like $200.
And everybody thought it was like this Judy Jetson's laptop from the future. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:07
And everybody thought it was like this Judy Jetson's la...
And my mom got so emotional about the manual - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:12
And my mom got so emotional about the manual
That I'm gonna have to clean all this shit up when you die." - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:11
That I'm gonna have to clean all this shit up when you ...
Because according to Deepak-Oprah, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:10
Because according to Deepak-Oprah,
To a man who now has HPV. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
To a man who now has HPV.
That will also last forever. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
That will also last forever.
No, really. I'm the lucky girl, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:08
No, really. I'm the lucky girl,
You wanna be a grown-ass woman, stop dating skaters. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
You wanna be a grown-ass woman, stop dating skaters.
Stop dating skaters unless you wanna wake up on a mattress in a kitchen. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:07
Stop dating skaters unless you wanna wake up on a mattress i...
They're sexy on the outside, malt liquor on the inside. - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:07
They're sexy on the outside, malt liquor on the inside.
But my husband, I first met him at this wedding - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:20
But my husband, I first met him at this wedding
And I was like, "Oh, my God, I'm gonna trap his ass." - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:06
And I was like, "Oh, my God, I'm gonna trap his as...
"Going to trap his ass!" - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:14
"Going to trap his ass!"
So I was like, "All right, Ali, you gotta make this dude believe - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:08
So I was like, "All right, Ali, you gotta make this dud...
I thought they were hipsters, OK? - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
I thought they were hipsters, OK?
That store Urban Outfitters has made things very confusing... - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:05
That store Urban Outfitters has made things very confusing.....
It happened in San Francisco, when I was living there, - Ali Wong: Baby Cobra 00:10
It happened in San Francisco, when I was living there,