"American Beauty" quotes

American Beauty poster
A sexually frustrated suburban father has a mid-life crisis after becoming infatuated with his daughter's best friend.

Director: Sam Mendes
Writer: Alan Ball
Production: N/A
Genre: drama
Year: 1999
MetaScore: 84/100
ImdbRating: 8.4
BoxOffice: $130,096,601
Released: 01 Oct 1999
Awards: Won 5 Oscars. 111 wins & 102 nominations total

213 Clips

How are you - American Beauty 00:22
How are you
Would you like some Smiley Sauce No no - American Beauty 00:15
Would you like some Smiley Sauce No no
I hope you don't mind if I play the stereo - American Beauty 00:33
I hope you don't mind if I play the stereo
Actually I'd like to fill out an application - American Beauty 00:13
Actually I'd like to fill out an application
How much do you want - American Beauty 00:35
How much do you want
Go fuck yourself psycho Shut up bitch - American Beauty 00:05
Go fuck yourself psycho Shut up bitch
I have to take a drug test every six months just to make sure I'm clean - American Beauty 00:18
I have to take a drug test every six months just to make...
What do you want - American Beauty 00:34
What do you want
The ad said this pool was lagoon like - American Beauty 00:17
The ad said this pool was lagoon like
I'm so sorry my dad was weird tonight - American Beauty 00:36
I'm so sorry my dad was weird tonight
I will sell this house today - American Beauty 00:18
I will sell this house today
There happens to be a lot about me - American Beauty 00:11
There happens to be a lot about me
Spectacular - American Beauty 00:05
Spectacular
Solved I think lagoon I think waterfall - American Beauty 00:14
Solved I think lagoon I think waterfall
Guess what I've changed And the new me whacks off when he feels horny - American Beauty 00:07
Guess what I've changed And the new me whacks off when he...
Forgive me sir for speaking so bluntly - American Beauty 00:20
Forgive me sir for speaking so bluntly
Forgive me sir for speaking so bluntly - American Beauty 00:17
Forgive me sir for speaking so bluntly
You ungrateful little brat - American Beauty 00:12
You ungrateful little brat
Oh my God What time is it - American Beauty 00:04
Oh my God What time is it
Oh my God Jane What is it - American Beauty 00:04
Oh my God Jane What is it
I know you think my dad's harmless but you're wrong - American Beauty 00:05
I know you think my dad's harmless but you're wrong
Mom do we always have to listen to this elevator music - American Beauty 00:15
Mom do we always have to listen to this elevator music
I was hoping you'd give me a bath - American Beauty 00:07
I was hoping you'd give me a bath
What is this - American Beauty 00:06
What is this
You need structure yeah - American Beauty 00:11
You need structure yeah
I'm not obsessing I'm just curious - American Beauty 00:05
I'm not obsessing I'm just curious
Will someone pass the fucking asparagus - American Beauty 00:04
Will someone pass the fucking asparagus
That was exactly what I needed - American Beauty 00:11
That was exactly what I needed
Oh my God - American Beauty 00:04
Oh my God
Man oh man - American Beauty 00:10
Man oh man
Someone really should just put him out of his misery - American Beauty 00:20
Someone really should just put him out of his misery
I refuse to be a victim - American Beauty 00:04
I refuse to be a victim
I was filming this dead bird - American Beauty 00:07
I was filming this dead bird
Who are you looking for - American Beauty 00:13
Who are you looking for
I apologize for the way things look around here - American Beauty 00:05
I apologize for the way things look around here
What the hell do you think you're doing - American Beauty 00:14
What the hell do you think you're doing
Do you party - American Beauty 00:07
Do you party
I'm in trouble - American Beauty 00:04
I'm in trouble
What a freak - American Beauty 00:20
What a freak
This is my friend Angela Hayes - American Beauty 00:36
This is my friend Angela Hayes
This is my friend Angela Hayes - American Beauty 00:29
This is my friend Angela Hayes
If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me - American Beauty 00:10
If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me
Because everything that was meant to happen does - American Beauty 00:05
Because everything that was meant to happen does
It's that psycho next door Jane what if he worships you - American Beauty 00:12
It's that psycho next door Jane what if he worships you
Sorry about my dad - American Beauty 00:35
Sorry about my dad
But your dad's actually kind of cute - American Beauty 00:30
But your dad's actually kind of cute
I feel like I've been in a coma for about 20 years - American Beauty 00:08
I feel like I've been in a coma for about 20 years
This is a 4 000 sofa upholstered in Italian silk - American Beauty 00:12
This is a 4 000 sofa upholstered in Italian silk
Christ Carolyn - American Beauty 00:27
Christ Carolyn
Lester I refuse to live like this - American Beauty 00:20
Lester I refuse to live like this
Could he be any more pathetic - American Beauty 00:13
Could he be any more pathetic
Welcome to America's Weirdest Home Videos - American Beauty 00:05
Welcome to America's Weirdest Home Videos
What's new in the world Dad - American Beauty 00:08
What's new in the world Dad
So I'm sure you can understand - American Beauty 00:36
So I'm sure you can understand
I didn't mean to scare you I just think you're interesting - American Beauty 00:05
I didn't mean to scare you I just think you're interesting
I don't think we can be friends anymore You're way too uptight about sex - American Beauty 00:12
I don't think we can be friends anymore You're way too...
You and psycho boy are fucking on a regular basis now right - American Beauty 00:15
You and psycho boy are fucking on a regular basis now right
What You're Mother of the Year You treat her like an employee - American Beauty 00:07
What You're Mother of the Year You treat her like an...
Where's your wife - American Beauty 00:37
Where's your wife
I see you're smoking pot now I'm so glad - American Beauty 00:16
I see you're smoking pot now I'm so glad
I don't think you'd fit in here - American Beauty 00:19
I don't think you'd fit in here
I need a father who's a role model - American Beauty 00:26
I need a father who's a role model
My husband Lester It's a pleasure - American Beauty 00:29
My husband Lester It's a pleasure
God I love it - American Beauty 00:13
God I love it
I'm leaving OK - American Beauty 00:10
I'm leaving OK
Hi Welcome to the neighborhood - American Beauty 00:36
Hi Welcome to the neighborhood
So Janie how was school - American Beauty 00:14
So Janie how was school
Fine You don't feel naked - American Beauty 00:08
Fine You don't feel naked
I'm serious He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out - American Beauty 00:34
I'm serious He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out
Are you scared - American Beauty 00:14
Are you scared
I am so proud of you You know I watched you very closely - American Beauty 00:07
I am so proud of you You know I watched you very closely
Can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are - American Beauty 00:05
Can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are
You total slut - American Beauty 00:12
You total slut
What makes you so sure she wants us to be there Did she ask - American Beauty 00:26
What makes you so sure she wants us to be there Did she ask
My dad thinks I pay for all this with catering jobs - American Beauty 00:09
My dad thinks I pay for all this with catering jobs
Janie's a pretty typical teenager - American Beauty 00:14
Janie's a pretty typical teenager
Don't you mess with me mister - American Beauty 00:35
Don't you mess with me mister
She's not your friend She's someone you use to feel better about yourself - American Beauty 00:06
She's not your friend She's someone you use to feel better...
It's disgusting Watch yourself Jane - American Beauty 00:07
It's disgusting Watch yourself Jane
I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist - American Beauty 00:33
I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist
Jane He's a freak Well then so am I - American Beauty 00:12
Jane He's a freak Well then so am I
That's my wife Carolyn - American Beauty 00:12
That's my wife Carolyn
You don't think it's weird and kind of fascist - American Beauty 00:10
You don't think it's weird and kind of fascist
Don't get to tell me what to do - American Beauty 00:07
Don't get to tell me what to do
In order to be successful - American Beauty 00:06
In order to be successful
I don't think there's anything worse than being ordinary - American Beauty 00:05
I don't think there's anything worse than being ordinary
I see You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated - American Beauty 00:08
I see You think you're the only one who's sexually...
Smile You're at Mister Smiley's - American Beauty 00:04
Smile You're at Mister Smiley's
This isn't life - American Beauty 00:11
This isn't life
What did he make you do - American Beauty 00:35
What did he make you do
When I was your age I flipped burgers all summer just to buy an 8 track - American Beauty 00:18
When I was your age I flipped burgers all summer just to buy...
I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility - American Beauty 00:06
I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility
Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser - American Beauty 00:28
Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser
I figured you might be able to give me some pointers I need to shape up Fast - American Beauty 00:15
I figured you might be able to give me some pointers I need...
My job consists of basically masking my contempt - American Beauty 00:33
My job consists of basically masking my contempt
Look at me - American Beauty 00:12
Look at me
Jane honey are you trying to look unattractive - American Beauty 00:09
Jane honey are you trying to look unattractive
How's Jane - American Beauty 00:33
How's Jane
Whatever Management wants you gone by the end of the day - American Beauty 00:34
Whatever Management wants you gone by the end of the day
You are so busted - American Beauty 00:11
You are so busted
Yeah well at least I'm not ugly - American Beauty 00:16
Yeah well at least I'm not ugly
You got a minute - American Beauty 00:06
You got a minute
It's like God is looking right at you just for a second - American Beauty 00:13
It's like God is looking right at you just for a second
It's a great thing when you realize - American Beauty 00:12
It's a great thing when you realize
It's a great thing when you realize - American Beauty 00:07
It's a great thing when you realize
Look I'm not paying you to do whatever it is you're doing out here - American Beauty 00:28
Look I'm not paying you to do whatever it is you're doing...
What are you doing - American Beauty 00:24
What are you doing
Whose car is that out front - American Beauty 00:10
Whose car is that out front
It's not mine - American Beauty 00:32
It's not mine
My name is Lester Burnham - American Beauty 00:36
My name is Lester Burnham
Remember those posters that said - American Beauty 00:15
Remember those posters that said
Buddy this is my Her husband - American Beauty 00:10
Buddy this is my Her husband
Your father and I were just discussing his day at work - American Beauty 00:36
Your father and I were just discussing his day at work
I was not Yes you were - American Beauty 00:37
I was not Yes you were
I've changed - American Beauty 00:23
I've changed
It's that psycho next door - American Beauty 00:35
It's that psycho next door
It's part of my job to live that image - American Beauty 00:20
It's part of my job to live that image
It's like God's looking right at you - American Beauty 00:31
It's like God's looking right at you
It's just a couch - American Beauty 00:24
It's just a couch
In order to be successful - American Beauty 00:22
In order to be successful
I'm so sorry my Dad was weird tonight - American Beauty 02:14
I'm so sorry my Dad was weird tonight
I'm serious - American Beauty 02:08
I'm serious
I'm so proud of you - American Beauty 00:22
I'm so proud of you
I'm not obsessing - American Beauty 00:14
I'm not obsessing
I'm not going to talk about his dick with you - American Beauty 00:38
I'm not going to talk about his dick with you
I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility - American Beauty 00:19
I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility
I'm leaving - American Beauty 00:13
I'm leaving
I'm in trouble - American Beauty 00:10
I'm in trouble
If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me - American Beauty 00:28
If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me
I will sell this house today - American Beauty 00:19
I will sell this house today
I think 'lagoon' - American Beauty 00:29
I think 'lagoon'
I see you're smoking pot now - American Beauty 00:40
I see you're smoking pot now
I refuse to live like this - American Beauty 01:02
I refuse to live like this
I refuse to be a victim - American Beauty 00:12
I refuse to be a victim
I need a father who's a role model - American Beauty 00:53
I need a father who's a role model
I know you think my dad's harmless - American Beauty 00:17
I know you think my dad's harmless
I don't know - American Beauty 01:14
I don't know
Don't know - American Beauty 01:12
Don't know
I was hoping you'd give me a bath - American Beauty 00:16
I was hoping you'd give me a bath
I hope you don't mind if I play the stereo - American Beauty 00:53
I hope you don't mind if I play the stereo
I was filming this dead bird - American Beauty 00:17
I was filming this dead bird
I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers - American Beauty 00:46
I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers
I don't think you'd fit in here - American Beauty 00:59
I don't think you'd fit in here
I don't think that there's anything worse than being ordinary - American Beauty 00:19
I don't think that there's anything worse than being...
I don't think we can be friends anymore - American Beauty 00:26
I don't think we can be friends anymore
I didn't mean to scare you - American Beauty 00:19
I didn't mean to scare you
You're mother of the year - American Beauty 00:18
You're mother of the year
You're at Mr - American Beauty 00:10
You're at Mr
Your father and I were just discussing his day at work - American Beauty 02:20
Your father and I were just discussing his day at work
You total slut - American Beauty 00:30
You total slut
You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated - American Beauty 00:18
You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated
You need structure - American Beauty 00:25
You need structure
You like gettin' nailed by the King - American Beauty 00:20
You like gettin' nailed by the King
I can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are - American Beauty 00:18
I can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are
I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist - American Beauty 01:38
I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist
I am naked - American Beauty 00:13
I am naked
How was school - American Beauty 00:16
How was school
He's a freak - American Beauty 00:35
He's a freak
Got a minute - American Beauty 00:12
Got a minute
First of all - American Beauty 03:18
First of all
Except for the pasta - American Beauty 01:45
Except for the pasta
Don't you mess with me - American Beauty 01:36
Don't you mess with me
Do you party - American Beauty 00:13
Do you party
Do we always have to listen to this elevator music - American Beauty 00:40
Do we always have to listen to this elevator music
Could he be any more - American Beauty 00:28
Could he be any more
But those fags make me want to puke my fucking guts out - American Beauty 00:28
But those fags make me want to puke my fucking guts out
But you don't want to be unemployed - American Beauty 00:39
But you don't want to be unemployed
Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right - American Beauty 00:51
Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser and...
At least I'm not ugly - American Beauty 00:24
At least I'm not ugly
At least once a day - American Beauty 01:24
At least once a day
Are you trying to look unattractive - American Beauty 00:23
Are you trying to look unattractive
Are you scared - American Beauty 00:22
Are you scared
And you know what - American Beauty 00:57
And you know what
And I'm just now waking up - American Beauty 00:24
And I'm just now waking up
You can almost hear it - American Beauty 02:01
You can almost hear it
You are so busted - American Beauty 00:29
You are so busted
Will someone please pass the fucking asparagus - American Beauty 00:16
Will someone please pass the fucking asparagus
Go fuck yourself - American Beauty 00:10
Go fuck yourself
Whose car is that out front - American Beauty 00:26
Whose car is that out front
Who are you looking for - American Beauty 00:34
Who are you looking for
Where did you get that - American Beauty 02:18
Where did you get that
When I was your age - American Beauty 00:44
When I was your age
When did you become so - American Beauty 00:37
When did you become so
What's wrong - American Beauty 01:06
What's wrong
Whatever it is you're doing out here - American Beauty 00:40
Whatever it is you're doing out here
What is this - American Beauty 00:15
What is this
What the hell do you think you're doing - American Beauty 00:28
What the hell do you think you're doing
What do you mean - American Beauty 01:06
What do you mean
What are you doing - American Beauty 00:41
What are you doing
What a freak - American Beauty 00:38
What a freak
Well what makes you so sure she wants us to be there - American Beauty 01:28
Well what makes you so sure she wants us to be there
Welcome to America's weirdest home videos - American Beauty 00:15
Welcome to America's weirdest home videos
Times are tight - American Beauty 02:21
Times are tight
This is my - American Beauty 00:27
This is my
This isn't life - American Beauty 00:27
This isn't life
This country is going straight to hell - American Beauty 00:20
This country is going straight to hell
The ad said this pool was lagoon like - American Beauty 00:58
The ad said this pool was lagoon like
That's my wife - American Beauty 00:29
That's my wife
That was exactly what I needed - American Beauty 00:20
That was exactly what I needed
Spec ta cular - American Beauty 00:10
Spec ta cular
Sorry about my dad - American Beauty 01:51
Sorry about my dad
Somebody should just put him out of his misery - American Beauty 00:22
Somebody should just put him out of his misery
Smarty Man - American Beauty 00:27
Smarty Man
She's not your friend - American Beauty 00:23
She's not your friend
Remember those posters that said - American Beauty 00:34
Remember those posters that said
Or you're going to turn into a real BITCH - American Beauty 00:25
Or you're going to turn into a real BITCH
My name is Lester Burnham - American Beauty 00:47
My name is Lester Burnham
My husband - American Beauty 01:02
My husband
My dad thinks I paid for all this with catering jobs - American Beauty 00:26
My dad thinks I paid for all this with catering jobs
Management wants you gone by the end of the day - American Beauty 02:30
Management wants you gone by the end of the day
Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about - American Beauty 00:37
Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten...
Look at me - American Beauty 00:28
Look at me
Janie's a pretty typical teenager - American Beauty 00:30
Janie's a pretty typical teenager

Cast

Lester Burnham - Kevin Spacey
Carolyn Burnham - Annette Bening
Jane Burnham - Thora Birch
Ricky Fitts - Wes Bentley
Angela Hayes - Mena Suvari
Buddy Kane - Peter Gallagher
Barbara Fitts - Allison Janney
Colonel Fitts - Chris Cooper
Jim Olmeyer - Scott Bakula
Jim Berkley - Sam Robards
Sale House Woman #1 - Ara Celi
Sale House Man #1 - John Cho
Sale House Man #2 - Fort Atkinson
Sale House Woman #2 - Sue Casey
Sale House Man #3 - Kent Faulcon
Sale House Women #4 - Brenda Wehle
Sale House Women #4 - Lisa Cloud
Spartanette #1 - Alison Faulk
Spartanette #2 - Krista Goodsitt
Spartanette #3 - Lily Houtkin
Spartanette #4 - Carolina Lancaster
Spartanette #5 (as Romana Leah) - Mona Leah
Spartanette #6 (as Chekesa Van Putten) - Chekesha Van Putten
Spartanette #7 - Emily Zachary
Spartanette #8 - Nancy Anderson
Spartanette #9 - Reshma Gajjar
Spartanette #10 - Stephanie Rizzo
Playground Girl #1 - Heather Joy Sher
Playground Girl #2 - Chelsea Hertford
Christy Kane - Amber Smith
Catering Boss - Joel McCrary
Mr. Smiley's Counter Girl (Janine) - Marissa Jaret Winokur
Mr. Smiley's Manager - Dennis Anderson
Firing Range Attendant - Matthew Kimbrough
Bartender - Bruce Cohen
Wedding Guest - David C. Fisher
Advertising Executive - Tom Miller
President Ronald Reagan (archive footage) - Ronald Reagan