"American Beauty" quotes

American Beauty poster

A sexually frustrated suburban father has a mid-life crisis after becoming infatuated with his daughter's best friend.

Director: Sam Mendes

Writer: Alan Ball

Production: N/A

Genre: drama

Year: 1999

MetaScore: 84/100

ImdbRating: 8.4

BoxOffice: $130,096,601

Released: 01 Oct 1999

Awards: Won 5 Oscars. 111 wins & 102 nominations total

213 Clips

How are you - American Beauty

Would you like some Smiley Sauce No no - American Beauty

Would you like some Smiley Sauce No no

I hope you don't mind if I play the stereo - American Beauty

I hope you don't mind if I play the stereo

Actually I'd like to fill out an application - American Beauty

Actually I'd like to fill out an application

How much do you want - American Beauty

How much do you want

Go fuck yourself psycho Shut up bitch - American Beauty

Go fuck yourself psycho Shut up bitch

I have to take a drug test every six months just to make sure I'm clean - American Beauty

I have to take a drug test every six months just to make...

What do you want - American Beauty

What do you want

The ad said this pool was lagoon like - American Beauty

The ad said this pool was lagoon like

I'm so sorry my dad was weird tonight - American Beauty

I'm so sorry my dad was weird tonight

I will sell this house today - American Beauty

I will sell this house today

There happens to be a lot about me - American Beauty

There happens to be a lot about me

Spectacular - American Beauty

Solved I think lagoon I think waterfall - American Beauty

Solved I think lagoon I think waterfall

Guess what I've changed And the new me whacks off when he feels horny - American Beauty

Guess what I've changed And the new me whacks off when he...

Forgive me sir for speaking so bluntly - American Beauty

Forgive me sir for speaking so bluntly

Forgive me sir for speaking so bluntly - American Beauty

Forgive me sir for speaking so bluntly

You ungrateful little brat - American Beauty

You ungrateful little brat

Oh my God What time is it - American Beauty

Oh my God What time is it

Oh my God Jane What is it - American Beauty

Oh my God Jane What is it

I know you think my dad's harmless but you're wrong - American Beauty

I know you think my dad's harmless but you're wrong

Mom do we always have to listen to this elevator music - American Beauty

Mom do we always have to listen to this elevator music

I was hoping you'd give me a bath - American Beauty

I was hoping you'd give me a bath

What is this - American Beauty

You need structure yeah - American Beauty

You need structure yeah

I'm not obsessing I'm just curious - American Beauty

I'm not obsessing I'm just curious

Will someone pass the fucking asparagus - American Beauty

Will someone pass the fucking asparagus

That was exactly what I needed - American Beauty

That was exactly what I needed

Oh my God - American Beauty

Man oh man - American Beauty

Someone really should just put him out of his misery - American Beauty

Someone really should just put him out of his misery

I refuse to be a victim - American Beauty

I refuse to be a victim

I was filming this dead bird - American Beauty

I was filming this dead bird

Who are you looking for - American Beauty

Who are you looking for

I apologize for the way things look around here - American Beauty

I apologize for the way things look around here

What the hell do you think you're doing - American Beauty

What the hell do you think you're doing

Do you party - American Beauty

I'm in trouble - American Beauty

What a freak - American Beauty

This is my friend Angela Hayes - American Beauty

This is my friend Angela Hayes

This is my friend Angela Hayes - American Beauty

This is my friend Angela Hayes

If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me - American Beauty

If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me

Because everything that was meant to happen does - American Beauty

Because everything that was meant to happen does

It's that psycho next door Jane what if he worships you - American Beauty

It's that psycho next door Jane what if he worships you

Sorry about my dad - American Beauty

Sorry about my dad

But your dad's actually kind of cute - American Beauty

But your dad's actually kind of cute

I feel like I've been in a coma for about 20 years - American Beauty

I feel like I've been in a coma for about 20 years

This is a 4 000 sofa upholstered in Italian silk - American Beauty

This is a 4 000 sofa upholstered in Italian silk

Christ Carolyn - American Beauty

Lester I refuse to live like this - American Beauty

Lester I refuse to live like this

Could he be any more pathetic - American Beauty

Could he be any more pathetic

Welcome to America's Weirdest Home Videos - American Beauty

Welcome to America's Weirdest Home Videos

What's new in the world Dad - American Beauty

What's new in the world Dad

So I'm sure you can understand - American Beauty

So I'm sure you can understand

I didn't mean to scare you I just think you're interesting - American Beauty

I didn't mean to scare you I just think you're interesting

I don't think we can be friends anymore You're way too uptight about sex - American Beauty

I don't think we can be friends anymore You're way too...

You and psycho boy are fucking on a regular basis now right - American Beauty

You and psycho boy are fucking on a regular basis now right

What You're Mother of the Year You treat her like an employee - American Beauty

What You're Mother of the Year You treat her like an...

Where's your wife - American Beauty

Where's your wife

I see you're smoking pot now I'm so glad - American Beauty

I see you're smoking pot now I'm so glad

I don't think you'd fit in here - American Beauty

I don't think you'd fit in here

I need a father who's a role model - American Beauty

I need a father who's a role model

My husband Lester It's a pleasure - American Beauty

My husband Lester It's a pleasure

God I love it - American Beauty

I'm leaving OK - American Beauty

Hi Welcome to the neighborhood - American Beauty

Hi Welcome to the neighborhood

So Janie how was school - American Beauty

So Janie how was school

Fine You don't feel naked - American Beauty

Fine You don't feel naked

I'm serious He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out - American Beauty

I'm serious He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out

Are you scared - American Beauty

I am so proud of you You know I watched you very closely - American Beauty

I am so proud of you You know I watched you very closely

Can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are - American Beauty

Can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are

You total slut - American Beauty

What makes you so sure she wants us to be there Did she ask - American Beauty

What makes you so sure she wants us to be there Did she ask

My dad thinks I pay for all this with catering jobs - American Beauty

My dad thinks I pay for all this with catering jobs

Janie's a pretty typical teenager - American Beauty

Janie's a pretty typical teenager

Don't you mess with me mister - American Beauty

Don't you mess with me mister

She's not your friend She's someone you use to feel better about yourself - American Beauty

She's not your friend She's someone you use to feel better...

It's disgusting Watch yourself Jane - American Beauty

It's disgusting Watch yourself Jane

I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist - American Beauty

I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist

Jane He's a freak Well then so am I - American Beauty

Jane He's a freak Well then so am I

That's my wife Carolyn - American Beauty

That's my wife Carolyn

You don't think it's weird and kind of fascist - American Beauty

You don't think it's weird and kind of fascist

Don't get to tell me what to do - American Beauty

Don't get to tell me what to do

In order to be successful - American Beauty

In order to be successful

I don't think there's anything worse than being ordinary - American Beauty

I don't think there's anything worse than being ordinary

I see You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated - American Beauty

I see You think you're the only one who's sexually...

Smile You're at Mister Smiley's - American Beauty

Smile You're at Mister Smiley's

This isn't life - American Beauty

This isn't life

What did he make you do - American Beauty

What did he make you do

When I was your age I flipped burgers all summer just to buy an 8 track - American Beauty

When I was your age I flipped burgers all summer just to buy...

I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility - American Beauty

I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility

Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser - American Beauty

Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser

I figured you might be able to give me some pointers I need to shape up Fast - American Beauty

I figured you might be able to give me some pointers I need...

My job consists of basically masking my contempt - American Beauty

My job consists of basically masking my contempt

Look at me - American Beauty

Jane honey are you trying to look unattractive - American Beauty

Jane honey are you trying to look unattractive

How's Jane - American Beauty

Whatever Management wants you gone by the end of the day - American Beauty

Whatever Management wants you gone by the end of the day

You are so busted - American Beauty

You are so busted

Yeah well at least I'm not ugly - American Beauty

Yeah well at least I'm not ugly

You got a minute - American Beauty

You got a minute

It's like God is looking right at you just for a second - American Beauty

It's like God is looking right at you just for a second

It's a great thing when you realize - American Beauty

It's a great thing when you realize

It's a great thing when you realize - American Beauty

It's a great thing when you realize

Look I'm not paying you to do whatever it is you're doing out here - American Beauty

Look I'm not paying you to do whatever it is you're doing...

What are you doing - American Beauty

What are you doing

Whose car is that out front - American Beauty

Whose car is that out front

It's not mine - American Beauty

My name is Lester Burnham - American Beauty

My name is Lester Burnham

Remember those posters that said - American Beauty

Remember those posters that said

Buddy this is my Her husband - American Beauty

Buddy this is my Her husband

Your father and I were just discussing his day at work - American Beauty

Your father and I were just discussing his day at work

I was not Yes you were - American Beauty

I was not Yes you were

I've changed - American Beauty

It's that psycho next door - American Beauty

It's that psycho next door

It's part of my job to live that image - American Beauty

It's part of my job to live that image

It's like God's looking right at you - American Beauty

It's like God's looking right at you

It's just a couch - American Beauty

It's just a couch

In order to be successful - American Beauty

In order to be successful

I'm so sorry my Dad was weird tonight - American Beauty

I'm so sorry my Dad was weird tonight

I'm serious - American Beauty

I'm so proud of you - American Beauty

I'm so proud of you

I'm not obsessing - American Beauty

I'm not obsessing

I'm not going to talk about his dick with you - American Beauty

I'm not going to talk about his dick with you

I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility - American Beauty

I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility

I'm leaving - American Beauty

I'm in trouble - American Beauty

If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me - American Beauty

If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me

I will sell this house today - American Beauty

I will sell this house today

I think 'lagoon' - American Beauty

I think 'lagoon'

I see you're smoking pot now - American Beauty

I see you're smoking pot now

I refuse to live like this - American Beauty

I refuse to live like this

I refuse to be a victim - American Beauty

I refuse to be a victim

I need a father who's a role model - American Beauty

I need a father who's a role model

I know you think my dad's harmless - American Beauty

I know you think my dad's harmless

I don't know - American Beauty

Don't know - American Beauty

I was hoping you'd give me a bath - American Beauty

I was hoping you'd give me a bath

I hope you don't mind if I play the stereo - American Beauty

I hope you don't mind if I play the stereo

I was filming this dead bird - American Beauty

I was filming this dead bird

I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers - American Beauty

I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers

I don't think you'd fit in here - American Beauty

I don't think you'd fit in here

I don't think that there's anything worse than being ordinary - American Beauty

I don't think that there's anything worse than being...

I don't think we can be friends anymore - American Beauty

I don't think we can be friends anymore

I didn't mean to scare you - American Beauty

I didn't mean to scare you

You're mother of the year - American Beauty

You're mother of the year

You're at Mr - American Beauty

Your father and I were just discussing his day at work - American Beauty

Your father and I were just discussing his day at work

You total slut - American Beauty

You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated - American Beauty

You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated

You need structure - American Beauty

You need structure

You like gettin' nailed by the King - American Beauty

You like gettin' nailed by the King

I can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are - American Beauty

I can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are

I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist - American Beauty

I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist

I am naked - American Beauty

How was school - American Beauty

He's a freak - American Beauty

Got a minute - American Beauty

First of all - American Beauty

Except for the pasta - American Beauty

Except for the pasta

Don't you mess with me - American Beauty

Don't you mess with me

Do you party - American Beauty

Do we always have to listen to this elevator music - American Beauty

Do we always have to listen to this elevator music

Could he be any more - American Beauty

Could he be any more

But those fags make me want to puke my fucking guts out - American Beauty

But those fags make me want to puke my fucking guts out

But you don't want to be unemployed - American Beauty

But you don't want to be unemployed

Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right - American Beauty

Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser and...

At least I'm not ugly - American Beauty

At least I'm not ugly

At least once a day - American Beauty

At least once a day

Are you trying to look unattractive - American Beauty

Are you trying to look unattractive

Are you scared - American Beauty

And you know what - American Beauty

And you know what

And I'm just now waking up - American Beauty

And I'm just now waking up

You can almost hear it - American Beauty

You can almost hear it

You are so busted - American Beauty

You are so busted

Will someone please pass the fucking asparagus - American Beauty

Will someone please pass the fucking asparagus

Go fuck yourself - American Beauty

Go fuck yourself

Whose car is that out front - American Beauty

Whose car is that out front

Who are you looking for - American Beauty

Who are you looking for

Where did you get that - American Beauty

Where did you get that

When I was your age - American Beauty

When I was your age

When did you become so - American Beauty

When did you become so

What's wrong - American Beauty

Whatever it is you're doing out here - American Beauty

Whatever it is you're doing out here

What is this - American Beauty

What the hell do you think you're doing - American Beauty

What the hell do you think you're doing

What do you mean - American Beauty

What do you mean

What are you doing - American Beauty

What are you doing

What a freak - American Beauty

Well what makes you so sure she wants us to be there - American Beauty

Well what makes you so sure she wants us to be there

Welcome to America's weirdest home videos - American Beauty

Welcome to America's weirdest home videos

Times are tight - American Beauty

Times are tight

This is my - American Beauty

This isn't life - American Beauty

This isn't life

This country is going straight to hell - American Beauty

This country is going straight to hell

The ad said this pool was lagoon like - American Beauty

The ad said this pool was lagoon like

That's my wife - American Beauty

That was exactly what I needed - American Beauty

That was exactly what I needed

Spec ta cular - American Beauty

Sorry about my dad - American Beauty

Sorry about my dad

Somebody should just put him out of his misery - American Beauty

Somebody should just put him out of his misery

Smarty Man - American Beauty

She's not your friend - American Beauty

She's not your friend

Remember those posters that said - American Beauty

Remember those posters that said

Or you're going to turn into a real BITCH - American Beauty

Or you're going to turn into a real BITCH

My name is Lester Burnham - American Beauty

My name is Lester Burnham

My husband - American Beauty

My dad thinks I paid for all this with catering jobs - American Beauty

My dad thinks I paid for all this with catering jobs

Management wants you gone by the end of the day - American Beauty

Management wants you gone by the end of the day

Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about - American Beauty

Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten...

Look at me - American Beauty

Janie's a pretty typical teenager - American Beauty

Janie's a pretty typical teenager

Cast

Lester Burnham - Kevin Spacey

Carolyn Burnham - Annette Bening

Jane Burnham - Thora Birch

Ricky Fitts - Wes Bentley

Angela Hayes - Mena Suvari

Buddy Kane - Peter Gallagher

Barbara Fitts - Allison Janney

Colonel Fitts - Chris Cooper

Jim Olmeyer - Scott Bakula

Jim Berkley - Sam Robards

Brad - Barry Del Sherman

Sale House Woman #1 - Ara Celi

Sale House Man #1 - John Cho

Sale House Man #2 - Fort Atkinson

Sale House Woman #2 - Sue Casey

Sale House Man #3 - Kent Faulcon

Sale House Women #4 - Brenda Wehle

Sale House Women #4 - Lisa Cloud

Spartanette #1 - Alison Faulk

Spartanette #2 - Krista Goodsitt

Spartanette #3 - Lily Houtkin

Spartanette #4 - Carolina Lancaster

Spartanette #5 (as Romana Leah) - Mona Leah

Spartanette #6 (as Chekesa Van Putten) - Chekesha Van Putten

Spartanette #7 - Emily Zachary

Spartanette #8 - Nancy Anderson

Spartanette #9 - Reshma Gajjar

Spartanette #10 - Stephanie Rizzo

Playground Girl #1 - Heather Joy Sher

Playground Girl #2 - Chelsea Hertford

Christy Kane - Amber Smith

Catering Boss - Joel McCrary

Mr. Smiley's Counter Girl (Janine) - Marissa Jaret Winokur

Mr. Smiley's Manager - Dennis Anderson

Firing Range Attendant - Matthew Kimbrough

Young Jane - Erin Cathryn Strubbe

Bartender - Bruce Cohen

Newscaster - Elaine Corral Kendall

Wedding Guest - David C. Fisher

Advertising Executive - Tom Miller

President Ronald Reagan (archive footage) - Ronald Reagan