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I can't even, like, defend myself
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American Vandal

I can't even, like, defend myself

I can't even, like, defend myself

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.004
I can't even, like, defend myself.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
16
Timestamp in Movie
00:31:16
Uploaded
Oct 29, 2025
Season
1
Episode
1
Genres
comedy, crime, drama
Production
3 Arts Entertainment,CBS Studios,Funny or Die,One Man Canoe,Woodhead Entertainment

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Movie Summary

A true-crime satire that explores the aftermath of a costly high school prank that left twenty-seven faculty cars vandalized with phallic images.
S01 • E02 [water flowing from faucet] - American Vandal 00:07
[water flowing from faucet]
S01 • E03 I just smoked a victory blunt for no reason, - American Vandal 00:08
I just smoked a victory blunt for no reason,
S01 • E08 Looks like you get hit pretty hard, right there. - American Vandal 00:06
Looks like you get hit pretty hard, right there.
S01 • E01 Parking lot dicks could have two nutsacks and warts, - American Vandal 00:07
Parking lot dicks could have two nutsacks and warts,
S01 • E03 [Peter] Dylan couldn't see it, but this is a big deal. - American Vandal 00:05
[Peter] Dylan couldn't see it, but this is a big deal.
S01 • E01 I don't think he was even gonna graduate. Who gives a shit about Dylan Maxwell? - American Vandal 00:06
I don't think he was even gonna graduate. Who gives a s...
S01 • E08 And it's no telling that Coach Rafferty was upset - American Vandal 00:06
And it's no telling that Coach Rafferty was upset
S01 • E03 And it's starting to seem - American Vandal 00:12
And it's starting to seem
S01 • E01 But then again, I wouldn't trust anything that Alex Trimboli says, either. - American Vandal 00:06
But then again, I wouldn't trust anything that Alex Tri...
S01 • E02 [mimics spray can hissing] - American Vandal 00:08
[mimics spray can hissing]
S01 • E01 For starters, he said he got to third base with Sara Pearson at summer camp. - American Vandal 00:06
For starters, he said he got to third base with Sara Pearson...
S01 • E02 And to think, there's still... There's still someone out there. - American Vandal 00:06
And to think, there's still... There's still someo...
S01 • E01 As you can tell from my reaction, this news is a little bit shocking. - American Vandal 00:06
As you can tell from my reaction, this news is a little bit ...
S01 • E01 Alex Trimboli claims he got a hand job from Sara Pearson? - American Vandal 00:06
Alex Trimboli claims he got a hand job from Sara Pearson?
S01 • E03 [knock on door] - American Vandal 00:06
[knock on door]
S01 • E01 Sara Pearson has hooked up with Michael Polowski, - American Vandal 00:09
Sara Pearson has hooked up with Michael Polowski,
S01 • E08 Right here, if you could draw your attention to the first page. - American Vandal 00:05
Right here, if you could draw your attention to the first pa...
S01 • E01 There is no way Alex got a hand job from Sara. - American Vandal 00:05
There is no way Alex got a hand job from Sara.
S01 • E03 [Peter] Maybe Shapiro thinks that she's doing this - American Vandal 00:06
[Peter] Maybe Shapiro thinks that she's doing this
S01 • E08 The complaint was marked "resolved," but was it? - American Vandal 00:05
The complaint was marked "resolved," but was it?