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No, I was all-state for soccer
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American Vandal

No, I was all-state for soccer, and I wanted to be the kickerfor the football team

No, I was all-state for soccer, and I wanted to be the kicker
for the football team

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.057
No, I was all-state for soccer,
00:00:02.063 --> 00:00:04.093
and I wanted to be the kicker for the football team.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
17
Timestamp in Movie
00:30:43
Uploaded
Oct 29, 2025
Season
1
Episode
8
Genres
comedy, crime, drama
Production
3 Arts Entertainment,CBS Studios,Funny or Die,One Man Canoe,Woodhead Entertainment

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Movie Summary

A true-crime satire that explores the aftermath of a costly high school prank that left twenty-seven faculty cars vandalized with phallic images.
S01 • E02 Because without that 2:21 voicemail, placing him here - American Vandal 00:07
Because without that 2:21 voicemail, placing him here
S01 • E01 I mean, I guess the worst part of this whole thing - American Vandal 00:06
I mean, I guess the worst part of this whole thing
S01 • E02 [Peter] All I know is someone is lying. - American Vandal 00:05
[Peter] All I know is someone is lying.
S01 • E03 -What's different right now? -[Peter] Dylan, - American Vandal 00:06
-What's different right now? -[Peter] Dylan,
S01 • E03 And what? Five people on YouTube are gonna think I'm innocent? - American Vandal 00:05
And what? Five people on YouTube are gonna think I'm in...
S01 • E08 I don't know how he got them, but, um, it was from tryouts. - American Vandal 00:07
I don't know how he got them, but, um, it was from tryo...
S01 • E01 I can't even, like, defend myself. - American Vandal 00:05
I can't even, like, defend myself.
S01 • E02 [water flowing from faucet] - American Vandal 00:07
[water flowing from faucet]
S01 • E03 I just smoked a victory blunt for no reason, - American Vandal 00:08
I just smoked a victory blunt for no reason,
S01 • E08 Looks like you get hit pretty hard, right there. - American Vandal 00:06
Looks like you get hit pretty hard, right there.
S01 • E01 Parking lot dicks could have two nutsacks and warts, - American Vandal 00:07
Parking lot dicks could have two nutsacks and warts,
S01 • E03 [Peter] Dylan couldn't see it, but this is a big deal. - American Vandal 00:05
[Peter] Dylan couldn't see it, but this is a big deal.
S01 • E01 I don't think he was even gonna graduate. Who gives a shit about Dylan Maxwell? - American Vandal 00:06
I don't think he was even gonna graduate. Who gives a s...
S01 • E08 And it's no telling that Coach Rafferty was upset - American Vandal 00:06
And it's no telling that Coach Rafferty was upset
S01 • E03 And it's starting to seem - American Vandal 00:12
And it's starting to seem
S01 • E01 But then again, I wouldn't trust anything that Alex Trimboli says, either. - American Vandal 00:06
But then again, I wouldn't trust anything that Alex Tri...
S01 • E02 [mimics spray can hissing] - American Vandal 00:08
[mimics spray can hissing]
S01 • E01 For starters, he said he got to third base with Sara Pearson at summer camp. - American Vandal 00:06
For starters, he said he got to third base with Sara Pearson...
S01 • E02 And to think, there's still... There's still someone out there. - American Vandal 00:06
And to think, there's still... There's still someo...
S01 • E01 As you can tell from my reaction, this news is a little bit shocking. - American Vandal 00:06
As you can tell from my reaction, this news is a little bit ...