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"American Wedding" quotes

American Wedding poster
It's the wedding of Jim and Michelle and the gathering of their families and friends, including Jim's old friends from high school and Michelle's little sister.

Director: Jesse Dylan
Writer: Adam Herz
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy
Year: 2003
MetaScore: 43/100
ImdbRating: 6.3
BoxOffice: $104,565,114
Released: 01 Aug 2003
Awards: 3 wins & 6 nominations

145 Clips

BearSteve StiflerKevin MyersJohnPaul FinchCadence FlahertyStifler's MomOfficer KrystalHarold FlahertyJennifer
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My friends and I just drove all the way from Michigan - American Wedding 00:08 My friends and I just drove all the way from Michigan You know I really love your shirt Do I know you - American Wedding 00:15 You know I really love your shirt Do I know you Hey Finch what's the capital of Thailand - American Wedding 00:05 Hey Finch what's the capital of Thailand And I'm gonna rock out with my cock out - American Wedding 00:24 And I'm gonna rock out with my cock out Oh Jim you've gotta stop masturbating It's melting your brain - American Wedding 00:17 Oh Jim you've gotta stop masturbating It's melting... Dickhead You do not send shit to my office at school - American Wedding 00:30 Dickhead You do not send shit to my office at school The first tits this guy ever saw - American Wedding 00:44 The first tits this guy ever saw It's time for me to boom boom with the bridesmaids Finch fucker - American Wedding 00:16 It's time for me to boom boom with the bridesmaids... All right Stifler Um - American Wedding 00:07 All right Stifler Um Michelle's grandmother's my mother's wedding ring - American Wedding 00:07 Michelle's grandmother's my mother's wedding... Observe the fuckin' Stif meister - American Wedding 00:16 Observe the fuckin' Stif meister Now Jim let me handle this - American Wedding 00:16 Now Jim let me handle this Well let me put it to you this way Jimbo - American Wedding 00:06 Well let me put it to you this way Jimbo I've just never walked into a room and - American Wedding 00:32 I've just never walked into a room and What are you doing here Happy fuck day ass mouth - American Wedding 00:05 What are you doing here Happy fuck day ass mouth Shit I've got a frosted ass crack Hey Finch - American Wedding 00:16 Shit I've got a frosted ass crack Hey Finch And I just see the chakras and the things I can do to her and - American Wedding 00:12 And I just see the chakras and the things I can do to her... Do you have a serving dish ready - American Wedding 00:05 Do you have a serving dish ready They're worth it Oh and if you've got some good wine too that'll score some points for you - American Wedding 00:06 They're worth it Oh and if you've got some good... Jim he's not doing it to be nice He's doing it to bone Cadence - American Wedding 00:26 Jim he's not doing it to be nice He's doing it to... Told you that guy wanted to fuck me - American Wedding 00:07 Told you that guy wanted to fuck me What do you think - American Wedding 00:27 What do you think But I will have some of that wine sir - American Wedding 00:06 But I will have some of that wine sir My dick looks like a corn dog I got cake all over my balls - American Wedding 00:08 My dick looks like a corn dog I got cake all over my balls It's on like Donkey Kong bi i itch - American Wedding 00:05 It's on like Donkey Kong bi i itch Do you have a serving dish ready - American Wedding 00:05 Do you have a serving dish ready Stifler why in the world are you focused on me - American Wedding 00:12 Stifler why in the world are you focused on me Wait Hold on Jim's getting married isn't he - American Wedding 00:30 Wait Hold on Jim's getting married isn't he It's gonna be fuckin' great Oh my God - American Wedding 00:10 It's gonna be fuckin' great Oh my God Uh the longer you can go - American Wedding 00:15 Uh the longer you can go Hoo Fuckin' right - American Wedding 00:07 Hoo Fuckin' right Back away from the animal - American Wedding 00:06 Back away from the animal What are you doing here - American Wedding 00:08 What are you doing here Honestly now Honestly would you have passed up sex with Nadia - American Wedding 00:27 Honestly now Honestly would you have passed up sex with... You hooked up with one other girl for what 10 seconds - American Wedding 00:16 You hooked up with one other girl for what 10 seconds Let's get this dress shit over with - American Wedding 00:08 Let's get this dress shit over with She's gonna wanna dance Fred Astaire kind of shit - American Wedding 00:09 She's gonna wanna dance Fred Astaire kind of shit Whatever you and Finch are pulling she seems to like you both - American Wedding 00:11 Whatever you and Finch are pulling she seems to like you... Hey Jim I cannot believe you - American Wedding 00:07 Hey Jim I cannot believe you Are you saying I'm impolite or something - American Wedding 00:11 Are you saying I'm impolite or something What is this a dance off - American Wedding 00:08 What is this a dance off Love life get paid and then get laid - American Wedding 00:08 Love life get paid and then get laid Yes I was just saying to your friends that - American Wedding 00:11 Yes I was just saying to your friends that Voltaire can suck on my balls - American Wedding 00:09 Voltaire can suck on my balls Are you happy now man Why are you here - American Wedding 00:05 Are you happy now man Why are you here Hey where are you going - American Wedding 00:06 Hey where are you going You're goddamn right I do Whoo hoo - American Wedding 00:33 You're goddamn right I do Whoo hoo I'm the happiest man in the world. - American Wedding 00:13 I'm the happiest man in the world. All right, she said she'd probably be at - American Wedding 00:09 All right, she said she'd probably be at Bitch! - American Wedding 00:05 Bitch! Hey, listen, I think we both know - American Wedding 00:10 Hey, listen, I think we both know No one has ever slapped my ass like that. - American Wedding 00:26 No one has ever slapped my ass like that. So, my mom found the dogs playing - American Wedding 00:14 So, my mom found the dogs playing He's hilarious. - American Wedding 00:13 He's hilarious. The flowers stay refrigerated until morning... - American Wedding 00:25 The flowers stay refrigerated until morning... I hope you'll be more careful with the next one. - American Wedding 00:07 I hope you'll be more careful with the next one. STIFLER: Fuckers! It's not my fault! - American Wedding 00:17 STIFLER: Fuckers! It's not my fault! Hey, flower fuckers, you there? - American Wedding 00:07 Hey, flower fuckers, you there? You know, Son, I think this is probably - American Wedding 00:11 You know, Son, I think this is probably James Emanuel Levenstein and Michelle Annabeth Flaherty, - American Wedding 00:12 James Emanuel Levenstein and Michelle Annabeth Flaherty, MAN: Let's all welcome Mr. And Mrs. Jim and Michelle Levenstein - American Wedding 00:11 MAN: Let's all welcome Mr. And Mrs. Jim and Michelle... I taught him that. - American Wedding 00:07 I taught him that. You know, Michelle, to quote someone I've learned quite a bit from, - American Wedding 00:17 You know, Michelle, to quote someone I've learned quite... That's her. - American Wedding 00:18 That's her. No way, bro. - American Wedding 00:27 No way, bro. I'm going to have a sex a with a Cadence - American Wedding I'm going to have a sex a with a Cadence Stifler's mom - American Wedding Stifler's mom Love isn't just a feeling - American Wedding Love isn't just a feeling All right, she said she'd probably be at - American Wedding 00:09 All right, she said she'd probably be at Are you saying I'm impolite or something - American Wedding 00:05 Are you saying I'm impolite or something Back away from the animal - American Wedding 00:04 Back away from the animal Bitch! - American Wedding 00:05 Bitch! But as they say we will always have Paris - American Wedding 00:10 But as they say we will always have Paris Dickhead Do not send shit to my office at school - American Wedding 00:28 Dickhead Do not send shit to my office at school Grandmotherfucker - American Wedding 00:11 Grandmotherfucker Grandmotherfucker - American Wedding 00:08 Grandmotherfucker (GUESTS EXCLAIM SOFTLY) - American Wedding 00:08 (GUESTS EXCLAIM SOFTLY) Happy fuckday assmouth - American Wedding 00:03 Happy fuckday assmouth Here's a thought Grow a sack fill it with some balls - American Wedding 00:11 Here's a thought Grow a sack fill it with some balls He's hilarious. - American Wedding 00:13 He's hilarious. He's not here. Park the cars down there where he won't see them. - American Wedding 00:06 He's not here. Park the cars down there where he won�... Hey Finch what's the capital of Thailand - American Wedding 00:07 Hey Finch what's the capital of Thailand Hey, flower fuckers, you there? - American Wedding 00:07 Hey, flower fuckers, you there? Hey, listen, I think we both know - American Wedding 00:10 Hey, listen, I think we both know Holy shit. - American Wedding 00:11 Holy shit. Honestly now would you have passed up sex with Nadia - American Wedding 00:24 Honestly now would you have passed up sex with Nadia Horny like I want to bone - American Wedding 00:04 Horny like I want to bone How did a little perv like you turn into such a great guy - American Wedding 00:12 How did a little perv like you turn into such a great guy I couldn't be happier. - American Wedding 00:13 I couldn't be happier.
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Cast

Jim Levenstein - Jason Biggs
Steve Stifler - Seann William Scott
Michelle Flaherty - Alyson Hannigan
Paul Finch - Eddie Kaye Thomas
Kevin Myers - Thomas Ian Nicholas
All Cast