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Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

In her new comedy special, Emergency Contact, Amy Schumer once again talks about her life in an uncensored and hilarious way.

Director

Amy Schumer

Year

Genre

documentary, comedy

Box Office

N/A

Production

N/A

Awards

2 nominations

Cast information not available.

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Explore 188 Clips

He's like,
"Holy fuck, were you in a fire?" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

He's like, "Holy fuck, were you in a fire?"

I got lipo, and then I, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I got lipo, and then I,

Lipo is the laziest thing
I've personally ever done. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Lipo is the laziest thing I've personally ever done.

That was my way of saying,
"I would rather have major surgery... - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

That was my way of saying, "I would rather have major s...

I feel it coming about an hour away
and that's when I combat it. You know? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I feel it coming about an hour away and that's when I c...

You ever get handed a new insecurity
when you weren't really expecting it? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

You ever get handed a new insecurity when you weren't r...

"Hey, you know who you look like?" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

"Hey, you know who you look like?"

I just got handed a new insecurity
by a trusted friend. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I just got handed a new insecurity by a trusted friend.

It's when you're feeling safe
that someone will hit you with something - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

It's when you're feeling safe that someone will hi...

You know, she goes,
"You know how you're short-waisted?" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

You know, she goes, "You know how you're short-wai...

"Like an ostrich! Cool! Okay, good! Good!" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

"Like an ostrich! Cool! Okay, good! Good!"

But I just got hit with
a new insecurity that - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

But I just got hit with a new insecurity that

I was getting acupuncture
to see if I could still feel, and, uh... - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I was getting acupuncture to see if I could still feel, and,...

He's working on me,
and with so much enthusiasm, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

He's working on me, and with so much enthusiasm,

I'll show you. On the back of my neck, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I'll show you. On the back of my neck,

I'm humped, okay.
Like a whale, or a camel. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I'm humped, okay. Like a whale, or a camel.

Found out in my 40s that
all this time I've been rocking a hump. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Found out in my 40s that all this time I've been rockin...

I said, "What do we do?" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I said, "What do we do?"

He goes, "It's called a 'widow's hump.'" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

He goes, "It's called a 'widow's...

He said, "Well, just try holding
your neck back further." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

He said, "Well, just try holding your neck back further...

"Like this?" He said, "Yeah, that's good."
"Okay, yeah. Less hump. Is this...?" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

"Like this?" He said, "Yeah, that's...

So, I know a lot of you
are sitting there thinking, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

So, I know a lot of you are sitting there thinking,

The way you'll know, is when you - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

The way you'll know, is when you

We all have some
little secret insecurity, right? Like... - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

We all have some little secret insecurity, right? Like...

Very last minute. We think we were
a last-minute fill-in. Not a big deal. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Very last minute. We think we were a last-minute fill-in. No...

We never met him before.
Right before we go in, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

We never met him before. Right before we go in,

"From who?" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I was glad she gave me a heads-up, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I was glad she gave me a heads-up,

In ten seconds in his house,
I would have been like, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

In ten seconds in his house, I would have been like,

Sometimes people give you a heads-up
for things that aren't necessary, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Sometimes people give you a heads-up for things that aren�...

Someone will be, like,
"Okay, and he's Black." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Someone will be, like, "Okay, and he's Black."...

Or, "And she's gay."
"Oh, should I eat her out?" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Or, "And she's gay." "Oh, should I eat h...

He says, "Hey, great to meet you.
No shaking hands. Covid." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

He says, "Hey, great to meet you. No shaking hands. Cov...

I said, "Sure, yeah. Great." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I said, "Sure, yeah. Great."

People just clean it up and act like
it didn't happen. Keep it moving. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

People just clean it up and act like it didn't happen. ...

I'm trying to fill the air, but I kept on
talking about vision by accident. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I'm trying to fill the air, but I kept on talking about...

I... I actually said this sentence,
okay, to a blind person. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I... I actually said this sentence, okay, to a blind person.

I said, "Is anyone watching The Watcher?" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I said, "Is anyone watching The Watcher?"

I said, "How long have you guys
been seeing each other?" Fucking fuck. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I said, "How long have you guys been seeing each other?...

I'm like,
"Let me guess, she's an old soul." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I'm like, "Let me guess, she's an old soul.&q...

Twenty-three-year-old pussy,
but what an old soul on the gal. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Twenty-three-year-old pussy, but what an old soul on the gal...

Okay? And if there's gonna be one group
of people that's really mad at me, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Okay? And if there's gonna be one group of people that&...

People ask, "Is this a dangerous time
for comedians?" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

People ask, "Is this a dangerous time for comedians?&qu...

When they ask, I'm like, "Yes." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

When they ask, I'm like, "Yes."

Like, no. Not if you're me, you know. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Like, no. Not if you're me, you know.

I'm like, "My people are like me. Okay?" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I'm like, "My people are like me. Okay?"

I think I'm just getting used to failing. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I think I'm just getting used to failing.

I don't think anybody's failed
as hard as I did, as quickly, though. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I don't think anybody's failed as hard as I did, a...

Okay? Gene. Basic.
We named him after my husband's mom, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Okay? Gene. Basic. We named him after my husband's mom,

But also, to not... - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

But also, to not...

That's why I, Amy, didn't take it. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

That's why I, Amy, didn't take it.

Google "Amy Fisher" when you get home.
And, uh, it's not good. So... - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Google "Amy Fisher" when you get home. And, uh, it...

That's where I fucked up. Okay? I, uh, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

That's where I fucked up. Okay? I, uh,

So we gave him the middle name "Attell." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

So we gave him the middle name "Attell."

We changed his middle name
as soon as we realized. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

We changed his middle name as soon as we realized.

I think it's better. We changed it
to "Fingerbang Shit-Snatch." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I think it's better. We changed it to "Fingerbang ...

They could always drive to Illinois.
Just recommending. But, uh... - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

They could always drive to Illinois. Just recommending. But,...

Yeah. People love giving
pregnant women advice, don't they? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Yeah. People love giving pregnant women advice, don't t...

The whole time I was pregnant, I have
this one friend, she'd always tell me, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

The whole time I was pregnant, I have this one friend, she&#...

Upward humpback Jew.
That's my resting pose, right here. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Upward humpback Jew. That's my resting pose, right here...

You know, some women feel like they failed
if they don't give birth vaginally. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

You know, some women feel like they failed if they don'...

And the only thing that really comforts me - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

And the only thing that really comforts me

I don't know what it is. When I take
a bath, I feel like I fill up. You know? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I don't know what it is. When I take a bath, I feel lik...

But they tell you,
no matter how you give birth, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

But they tell you, no matter how you give birth,

They say, "Now, listen,
you cannot have sex for six weeks." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

They say, "Now, listen, you cannot have sex for six wee...

"His foot got caught on my intestines
on the way out." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

"His foot got caught on my intestines on the way out.&q...

I had this awful condition while I was
pregnant called hyperemesis gravidarum. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I had this awful condition while I was pregnant called hyper...

I was so relieved when I was diagnosed,
it was like six months in. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I was so relieved when I was diagnosed, it was like six mont...

I was like, "Okay, we know what it is.
What do we do?" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I was like, "Okay, we know what it is. What do we do?&q...

"But if your husband wants,
we have chewable Viagra." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

"But if your husband wants, we have chewable Viagra.&qu...

Because, sometimes, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Because, sometimes,

I have severe endometriosis. Very painful. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I have severe endometriosis. Very painful.

A debilitating disease.
About 10% of women have that. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

A debilitating disease. About 10% of women have that.

There are no studies.
But if your dick curves slightly one way, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

There are no studies. But if your dick curves slightly one w...

Any dick-mergency,
the Paw Patrol is on the way! - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Any dick-mergency, the Paw Patrol is on the way!

Wanted to lose those last three pounds,
am I right, ladies? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

Wanted to lose those last three pounds, am I right, ladies?

It was a big surgery. They took out
my uterus, they found cysts in my ovaries. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

It was a big surgery. They took out my uterus, they found cy...

But the craziest thing they found - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

But the craziest thing they found

It's such a fun New York moment
right after that surgery. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

It's such a fun New York moment right after that surger...

I was walking around
feeling sorry for myself, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I was walking around feeling sorry for myself,

One of them recognized me and goes, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

One of them recognized me and goes,

He goes, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

"You should get it back!"
I'm like, "That's not..." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

"You should get it back!" I'm like, "Tha...

The only way I can describe
how much better I feel, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

The only way I can describe how much better I feel,

And the one grandpa gets the golden ticket - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

And the one grandpa gets the golden ticket

We had a medical emergency
in the audience last weekend on the road. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

We had a medical emergency in the audience last weekend on t...

It was very strange.
I learned a lot about my crowd. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

It was very strange. I learned a lot about my crowd.

It was in the balcony.
This guy was having a seizure. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

It was in the balcony. This guy was having a seizure.

I didn't follow up. But I'm assuming,
you know, I would have heard. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I didn't follow up. But I'm assuming, you know, I ...

This is when I learned about my crowd,
because I was like, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

This is when I learned about my crowd, because I was like,

Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

In her new comedy special, Emergency Contact, Amy Schumer once again talks about her life in an uncensored and hilarious way.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Amy Schumer

Writer: Amy Schumer

Production: N/A

Genre: documentary, comedy

Year: 2023

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 5.4

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 13 Jun 2023

Awards: 2 nominations

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