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Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

"CBD?" I'm like, "I need heroin, okay?" Fucking melatonin. Get outta here

"CBD?" I'm like, "I need heroin, okay?" Fucking melatonin. Get outta here

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.046
"CBD?"
00:00:02.543 --> 00:00:04.337
I'm like, "I need heroin, okay?"
00:00:06.255 --> 00:00:08.257
Fucking melatonin. Get outta here.
Duration
9 seconds
Views
34
Timestamp in Movie
00:27:02
Uploaded
Apr 13, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

In her new comedy special, Emergency Contact, Amy Schumer once again talks about her life in an uncensored and hilarious way.
We all know the advice, right? They said, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:13
We all know the advice, right? They said,
"That's crazy." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
"That's crazy."
"Why not just 15 minutes before you go to bed, power down?" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
"Why not just 15 minutes before you go to bed, power do...
I need to be staring into the abyss of my phone - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:09
I need to be staring into the abyss of my phone
They found that social media is harmful to young girls. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
They found that social media is harmful to young girls.
Since we've been in town, I saw this group of girls, maybe 12 years old. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
Since we've been in town, I saw this group of girls, ma...
Like, see how my leg looks if you look straight on? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Like, see how my leg looks if you look straight on?
At this point, the photographer gets in a tree, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
At this point, the photographer gets in a tree,
Maybe twice if we had a school dance. Right? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Maybe twice if we had a school dance. Right?
Somebody's dad had a camera. It was like, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
Somebody's dad had a camera. It was like,
We didn't know our angles. They'd say, "Cheese!" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
We didn't know our angles. They'd say, "Chees...
We didn't have oat milk, or almond milk, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
We didn't have oat milk, or almond milk,
You'd have a grilled-cheese sandwich - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
You'd have a grilled-cheese sandwich
Here's a good thing. You are definitely vaccinated for chicken pox. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:07
Here's a good thing. You are definitely vaccinated for ...
With neighbors who had them, just... - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
With neighbors who had them, just...
You're missing out on an important character-building experience. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
You're missing out on an important character-building e...
We're all crying. "I'm a whore!" - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:09
We're all crying. "I'm a whore!"
I'm still really close with my girls from high school. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
I'm still really close with my girls from high school.
Like, I text them in this intimate way I would never text my husband. You know? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
Like, I text them in this intimate way I would never text my...
"Your ass in those jeans tonight, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:11
"Your ass in those jeans tonight,