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If Chris ever got a text like that from me
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Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

If Chris ever gota text like that from me, he'd think I was fucking kidnapped.He'd call...

If Chris ever got
a text like that from me, he'd think I was fucking kidnapped.
He'd call the police

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.044
If Chris ever got a text like that from me,
00:00:03.127 --> 00:00:05.063
he'd think I was fucking kidnapped. He'd call the police.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
30
Timestamp in Movie
00:32:54
Uploaded
Apr 13, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

In her new comedy special, Emergency Contact, Amy Schumer once again talks about her life in an uncensored and hilarious way.
And, uh, I was like, "What if we text all of our husbands - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:12
And, uh, I was like, "What if we text all of our husban...
And we did it, and we got such different responses from these dudes. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
And we did it, and we got such different responses from thes...
My husband wrote back the fastest, okay, and he just wrote, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:07
My husband wrote back the fastest, okay, and he just wrote,
And my friend Jess' husband, we declared the loser - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
And my friend Jess' husband, we declared the loser
My friend Caroline's husband said, uh, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
My friend Caroline's husband said, uh,
But the winner, we declared, was my friend Andrea's husband, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
But the winner, we declared, was my friend Andrea's hus...
I love my girls. They're all teachers and nurses from Long Island. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
I love my girls. They're all teachers and nurses from L...
Holy shit. Thank you, teachers. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Holy shit. Thank you, teachers.
It was so fun having them there. And they were so excited. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
It was so fun having them there. And they were so excited.
Just... We just get used to shit so quick, don't we? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Just... We just get used to shit so quick, don't we?
These girls, at first they're so starstruck. They're like, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:12
These girls, at first they're so starstruck. They'...
I've only been married for five years, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
I've only been married for five years,
I think marriage is finding someone - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:07
I think marriage is finding someone
Find someone who can fucking stand you. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
Find someone who can fucking stand you.
Especially during the pandemic when we were all just home, just... - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Especially during the pandemic when we were all just home, j...
"No. No." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
"No. No."
Oh, we went to see Top Gun. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
Oh, we went to see Top Gun.
Do you know that Tom Cruise does all his own Scientology? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Do you know that Tom Cruise does all his own Scientology?
But... This is why I like being married because it's, you know, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:10
But... This is why I like being married because it's, y...
But I'm like, "Can I have your wallet? I still want to see Top Gun." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:10
But I'm like, "Can I have your wallet? I still wan...