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Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

I've only been married for five years, but this is what I thinkmarriage is so far

I've only been married for five years, but this is what I think
marriage is so far

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.052
I've only been married for five years,
00:00:02.585 --> 00:00:04.378
but this is what I think marriage is so far.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
30
Timestamp in Movie
00:35:41
Uploaded
Apr 13, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

In her new comedy special, Emergency Contact, Amy Schumer once again talks about her life in an uncensored and hilarious way.
I think marriage is finding someone - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:07
I think marriage is finding someone
Find someone who can fucking stand you. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
Find someone who can fucking stand you.
Especially during the pandemic when we were all just home, just... - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Especially during the pandemic when we were all just home, j...
"No. No." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
"No. No."
Oh, we went to see Top Gun. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
Oh, we went to see Top Gun.
Do you know that Tom Cruise does all his own Scientology? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Do you know that Tom Cruise does all his own Scientology?
But... This is why I like being married because it's, you know, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:10
But... This is why I like being married because it's, y...
But I'm like, "Can I have your wallet? I still want to see Top Gun." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:10
But I'm like, "Can I have your wallet? I still wan...
Half a block later, he's back walking next to me. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Half a block later, he's back walking next to me.
So, I just can't wrap my head around this story. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
So, I just can't wrap my head around this story.
If you don't know who I mean, this is Alec Baldwin's wife. Okay? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
If you don't know who I mean, this is Alec Baldwin'...
And I met her years ago, backstage at SNL. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
And I met her years ago, backstage at SNL.
Alec was like, "I want you to meet my wife." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
Alec was like, "I want you to meet my wife."
She is a tiny Disney princess, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
She is a tiny Disney princess,
Look like Ben Roethlisberger from most angles. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Look like Ben Roethlisberger from most angles.
"I'm Hilaria from Espania." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
"I'm Hilaria from Espania."
You might have seen her on a morning show doing a cooking demonstration - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:24
You might have seen her on a morning show doing a cooking de...
And they named them all, I'm not sure, but, very Spanish names - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:10
And they named them all, I'm not sure, but, very Spanis...
And all of this would be fine and beautiful, except... - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
And all of this would be fine and beautiful, except...
...that Hilaria - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
...that Hilaria