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Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact

"Your ass in those jeans tonight, what?" "When can we be together again?"

"Your ass in those jeans tonight, what?" "When can we be together again?"

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.252
"Your ass in those jeans tonight,
00:00:04.128 --> 00:00:05.504
what?"
00:00:08.299 --> 00:00:10.301
"When can we be together again?"
Duration
11 seconds
Views
28
Timestamp in Movie
00:32:41
Uploaded
Apr 13, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

In her new comedy special, Emergency Contact, Amy Schumer once again talks about her life in an uncensored and hilarious way.
If Chris ever got a text like that from me, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:07
If Chris ever got a text like that from me,
And, uh, I was like, "What if we text all of our husbands - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:12
And, uh, I was like, "What if we text all of our husban...
And we did it, and we got such different responses from these dudes. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
And we did it, and we got such different responses from thes...
My husband wrote back the fastest, okay, and he just wrote, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:07
My husband wrote back the fastest, okay, and he just wrote,
And my friend Jess' husband, we declared the loser - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
And my friend Jess' husband, we declared the loser
My friend Caroline's husband said, uh, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
My friend Caroline's husband said, uh,
But the winner, we declared, was my friend Andrea's husband, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
But the winner, we declared, was my friend Andrea's hus...
I love my girls. They're all teachers and nurses from Long Island. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
I love my girls. They're all teachers and nurses from L...
Holy shit. Thank you, teachers. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Holy shit. Thank you, teachers.
It was so fun having them there. And they were so excited. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
It was so fun having them there. And they were so excited.
Just... We just get used to shit so quick, don't we? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Just... We just get used to shit so quick, don't we?
These girls, at first they're so starstruck. They're like, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:12
These girls, at first they're so starstruck. They'...
I've only been married for five years, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
I've only been married for five years,
I think marriage is finding someone - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:07
I think marriage is finding someone
Find someone who can fucking stand you. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:06
Find someone who can fucking stand you.
Especially during the pandemic when we were all just home, just... - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Especially during the pandemic when we were all just home, j...
"No. No." - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
"No. No."
Oh, we went to see Top Gun. - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:08
Oh, we went to see Top Gun.
Do you know that Tom Cruise does all his own Scientology? - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:05
Do you know that Tom Cruise does all his own Scientology?
But... This is why I like being married because it's, you know, - Amy Schumer: Emergency Contact 00:10
But... This is why I like being married because it's, y...