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That's how I realized
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Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage

That's how I realized the guy that invented locksinside of a house must've been...

That's how I realized the guy that invented locks
inside of a house must've been caught
masturbating by his wife one too many times

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.543
That's how I realized
00:00:02.543 --> 00:00:04.337
the guy that invented locks inside of a house
00:00:04.337 --> 00:00:06.881
must've been caught masturbating by his wife
00:00:06.881 --> 00:00:08.716
one too many times.
Duration
9 seconds
Views
28
Timestamp in Movie
00:08:29
Uploaded
Jul 08, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
New Wave Entertainment,Comedy Dynamics

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Movie Summary

Half Mick, half WOP, hard-headed comedian Andrew Santino returns to his Chicago hometown for a stand-up special with the authentic taste of a city made of Italian beef, Old Style and deep dish. Shot at the historic Vic Theater, Santino touches on everything from growing up thinking he was black and a disgust with bachelorette parties, to his bouts with severe acne and male porn stars envy.
I'm gonna put locks inside the house." - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:05
I'm gonna put locks inside the house."
"We have locks on the outside of the house - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:05
"We have locks on the outside of the house
There's no criminals inside of this house." - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:11
There's no criminals inside of this house."
Anyway, I love being from this city, - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:05
Anyway, I love being from this city,
It's a little bit difficult, but the big difference is, like, - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:09
It's a little bit difficult, but the big difference is,...
That's why I'm out there. What are you talking about?" - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:05
That's why I'm out there. What are you talking abo...
It is. There's a lot of stuff that isn't better, - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:07
It is. There's a lot of stuff that isn't better,
Feels like 68." - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:06
Feels like 68."
That's hope circulating in your body. - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:05
That's hope circulating in your body.
I'll drop this bullshit gig and go do that tonight. - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:05
I'll drop this bullshit gig and go do that tonight.
Back to you guys, man. It's nice, really nice out. - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:05
Back to you guys, man. It's nice, really nice out.
Like, you're never surprised by anything in Chicago, - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:06
Like, you're never surprised by anything in Chicago,
There's, like, a week when it's like, - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:07
There's, like, a week when it's like,
[applause] - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:09
[applause]
So I feel bad for homeless people in Chicago, - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:05
So I feel bad for homeless people in Chicago,
And I'll always do that, - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:08
And I'll always do that,
You don't have a calendar." - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:07
You don't have a calendar."
I'm sure there's half-smoked cigarettes - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:05
I'm sure there's half-smoked cigarettes
They can move about, man. You know the birds? - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:04
They can move about, man. You know the birds?
When they leave, follow those guys. - Andrew Santino: Home Field Advantage 00:04
When they leave, follow those guys.