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Like, when I was a little kid, every year on my birthday
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Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All

Like, when I was a little kid,every year on my birthday, my dad would take me into the...

Like, when I was a little kid,
every year on my birthday, my dad would take me into the kitchen, put me up against the kitchen wall
and make a little mark to measure my girth

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.836
Like, when I was a little kid, every year on my birthday,
00:00:03.919 --> 00:00:05.921
my dad would take me into the kitchen,
00:00:06.588 --> 00:00:09.003
put me up against the kitchen wall and make a little mark
00:00:09.008 --> 00:00:11.427
to measure my girth.
Duration
12 seconds
Views
50
Timestamp in Movie
00:29:37
Uploaded
Apr 02, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Above Average Productions

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Movie Summary

Anthony Jeselnik presents his boundary-pushing comedy to the masses in this stand-up special.
Although I do get angry when people try to talk to me about sex. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:06
Although I do get angry when people try to talk to me about ...
And he says, "Anthony, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:25
And he says, "Anthony,
When I was growin' up, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:06
When I was growin' up,
One day, my little brother went into the backyard, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:08
One day, my little brother went into the backyard,
'Cause the next day, I went out, and I found my dog, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:07
'Cause the next day, I went out, and I found my dog,
But my brother, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:05
But my brother,
Last year, my parents lost all of their money in a Ponzi scheme. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:07
Last year, my parents lost all of their money in a Ponzi sch...
My family didn't have a lot of money when I was growin' up. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:05
My family didn't have a lot of money when I was growin&...
It is exactly like a regular firefighter. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:06
It is exactly like a regular firefighter.
So every night, around bedtime, she calls me - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:10
So every night, around bedtime, she calls me
So finally, after months of this, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:08
So finally, after months of this,
She said, "Anthony, what's the matter with you?" - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:14
She said, "Anthony, what's the matter with you?&qu...
And look, maybe, maybe I'm being too harsh. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:07
And look, maybe, maybe I'm being too harsh.
I have trouble sleeping sometimes too. Like the other night. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:06
I have trouble sleeping sometimes too. Like the other night.
The other night, I'm lying in bed, and I cannot fall asleep. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:05
The other night, I'm lying in bed, and I cannot fall as...
I'm just staring out my bedroom window for hours. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:06
I'm just staring out my bedroom window for hours.
And I swear, I saw my next-door neighbor murder his wife in their kitchen - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:11
And I swear, I saw my next-door neighbor murder his wife in ...
Like, I don't think he saw me, but he sure as shit heard me clappin'. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:07
Like, I don't think he saw me, but he sure as shit hear...
Now, here's a joke I like a lot. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:06
Now, here's a joke I like a lot.
My cousin Randy - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:07
My cousin Randy