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Someone stole my lunch every single day
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Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All

Someone stole my lunch every single day, even though I clearly hadmy name written on it

Someone stole my lunch every single day, even though I clearly had
my name written on it

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.877
Someone stole my lunch every single day,
00:00:02.096 --> 00:00:06.013
even though I clearly had my name written on it.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
55
Timestamp in Movie
00:22:57
Uploaded
Apr 01, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Above Average Productions

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Movie Summary

Anthony Jeselnik presents his boundary-pushing comedy to the masses in this stand-up special.
And I was pretty sure I knew who did it. I just couldn't prove it. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:05
And I was pretty sure I knew who did it. I just couldn'...
So, one day before work, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:07
So, one day before work,
And I put them in my food, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:08
And I put them in my food,
And as soon as he did, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:06
And as soon as he did,
Last day job I ever had, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:20
Last day job I ever had,
If there's one thing I'm getting sick of after 20 years of stand-up comedy, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:08
If there's one thing I'm getting sick of after 20 ...
I always say I do the shows for free. You pay me to travel. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:07
I always say I do the shows for free. You pay me to travel.
Two nights ago, I fly from New York City to Milwaukee. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:06
Two nights ago, I fly from New York City to Milwaukee.
Two-and-a-half-hour flight. It's direct. It should be easy. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:06
Two-and-a-half-hour flight. It's direct. It should be e...
The woman sitting next to me has a 100-pound dog - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:07
The woman sitting next to me has a 100-pound dog
And I say, "Excuse me, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:06
And I say, "Excuse me,
This woman, I swear to God, she rolls her eyes at me, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:22
This woman, I swear to God, she rolls her eyes at me,
I'm happy to report by the time we landed, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:07
I'm happy to report by the time we landed,
Air travel has gotten so uncomfortable in the past few years. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:06
Air travel has gotten so uncomfortable in the past few years...
But everyone I know who flies a lot like I do, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:06
But everyone I know who flies a lot like I do,
Everyone's got their own unique trick to make flying easier for them. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:05
Everyone's got their own unique trick to make flying ea...
Like, I'm friends with a very wealthy married couple. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:05
Like, I'm friends with a very wealthy married couple.
And whenever they fly, their trick is - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:08
And whenever they fly, their trick is
That way, worst-case scenario, one of those planes crashes, - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:09
That way, worst-case scenario, one of those planes crashes,
If I'm being honest, I don't actually have any married friends. - Anthony Jeselnik: Bones and All 00:07
If I'm being honest, I don't actually have any mar...