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Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward

And you might be thinking, "Anthony, how could you drop a baby?" You ever held a baby?

And you might be thinking, "Anthony, how could you drop a baby?" You ever held a baby?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.835
And you might be thinking, "Anthony,
00:00:03.293 --> 00:00:05.996
how could you drop a baby?"
00:00:06.463 --> 00:00:07.923
You ever held a baby?
Duration
8 seconds
Views
55
Timestamp in Movie
00:18:45
Uploaded
Jun 05, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
A24

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Movie Summary

Forging his own comedic boundaries, Anthony Jeselnik revels in getting away with saying things others can't in this stand-up special shot in New York.
Should you ask, "Anthony, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:08
Should you ask, "Anthony,
The only negative, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:07
The only negative,
People try to shame you when you drop their baby... - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
People try to shame you when you drop their baby...
...even though I almost always make it look like an accident. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
...even though I almost always make it look like an accident...
And then scoop it right back up before anybody sees you? - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
And then scoop it right back up before anybody sees you?
No shit, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
No shit,
You just hand the baby back and no one is the wiser. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
You just hand the baby back and no one is the wiser.
One of my friends come up and said, "Anthony, I got to go to the bathroom. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
One of my friends come up and said, "Anthony, I got to ...
Will you hold my baby?" - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Will you hold my baby?"
Held that baby 30, 45 seconds, a personal best. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Held that baby 30, 45 seconds, a personal best.
I'll be honest, I don't really understand - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
I'll be honest, I don't really understand
I think it's unfair, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
I think it's unfair,
One of my next-door neighbor's kids is climbing a tree on their property. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:06
One of my next-door neighbor's kids is climbing a tree ...
Falls out of the tree - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Falls out of the tree
Now I'm being told I've got to get myself a lawyer... - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
Now I'm being told I've got to get myself a lawyer...
Two years old, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:10
Two years old,
Anytime she sees me, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Anytime she sees me,
You get to laugh at what I said, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
You get to laugh at what I said,
And then you get a second laugh when you picture me... - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
And then you get a second laugh when you picture me...
And most people when they picture it, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:07
And most people when they picture it,