To watch in HD, get ClipCafe PRO
Murder-suicide is a victimless crime
Please log in to add to collections.
Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward

Murder-suicide is a victimless crime as long as you don't leave behindany kids

Murder-suicide is a victimless crime as long as you don't leave behind
any kids

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.878
Murder-suicide is a victimless crime
00:00:03.961 --> 00:00:06.672
as long as you don't leave behind any kids.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
42
Timestamp in Movie
00:46:41
Uploaded
Jun 05, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
A24

Want This Clip in HD?

Upgrade for HD/4K downloads and unlimited access. Upgrade now →

Movie Summary

Forging his own comedic boundaries, Anthony Jeselnik revels in getting away with saying things others can't in this stand-up special shot in New York.
Now, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:06
Now,
And if you've been on the fence about me tonight, one way or another, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:06
And if you've been on the fence about me tonight, one w...
Allow me to knock you clean the fuck off. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
Allow me to knock you clean the fuck off.
A couple of months ago, I took a friend of mine to get an abortion. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:06
A couple of months ago, I took a friend of mine to get an ab...
Get on board right now if you are going to. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Get on board right now if you are going to.
This is a very long, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
This is a very long,
I took my friend to get an abortion. Don't worry, guys, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:07
I took my friend to get an abortion. Don't worry, guys,
Ever helped someone to get an abortion. It's a big favor. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
Ever helped someone to get an abortion. It's a big favo...
Not an easy favor, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Not an easy favor,
Don't get me wrong, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Don't get me wrong,
The whole time I'm driving her, I'm just thinking to myself, "God damn. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
The whole time I'm driving her, I'm just thinking ...
And, yes, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:07
And, yes,
If you don't want your baby, you can still have your baby delivered. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
If you don't want your baby, you can still have your ba...
Leave it outside any fire station in the country... - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Leave it outside any fire station in the country...
Far as I'm concerned, they've been heroes since before 9/11. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
Far as I'm concerned, they've been heroes since be...
Now people hear me tell this story - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:11
Now people hear me tell this story
You would help someone like that, Anthony. You're a good friend." - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:06
You would help someone like that, Anthony. You're a goo...
Great friends pick you up - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Great friends pick you up
Now, I have given this a lot of thought, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Now, I have given this a lot of thought,
And I still don't know if it had been my baby, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:06
And I still don't know if it had been my baby,