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Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward

One thing, one thing that always makes me happy

One thing, one thing that always makes me happy

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:01.876
One thing,
00:00:03.998 --> 00:00:04.879
one thing that always makes me happy.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
47
Timestamp in Movie
00:39:44
Uploaded
Jun 05, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
A24

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Movie Summary

Forging his own comedic boundaries, Anthony Jeselnik revels in getting away with saying things others can't in this stand-up special shot in New York.
I love it when old married couples die - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:07
I love it when old married couples die
I will clip that out of the newspaper every time I see it. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
I will clip that out of the newspaper every time I see it.
To me, there is just nothing more romantic - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:07
To me, there is just nothing more romantic
I mean, don't get me wrong, guys, I like all of the suicides. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
I mean, don't get me wrong, guys, I like all of the sui...
I think I got really into suicide just after college, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:08
I think I got really into suicide just after college,
...end up committing suicide." - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:06
...end up committing suicide."
Most of those were wrong numbers." - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:06
Most of those were wrong numbers."
My point here is this: - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:06
My point here is this:
You should all believe me when I tell you that I know my suicide - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:08
You should all believe me when I tell you that I know my sui...
Doctor-assisted suicide? Get that weak shit out of here. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Doctor-assisted suicide? Get that weak shit out of here.
"Oh, my God, what could I have done to save my friend Jeff?" - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:10
"Oh, my God, what could I have done to save my friend J...
You just think, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
You just think,
...why murder-suicide is so great. Guys, listen to me. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
...why murder-suicide is so great. Guys, listen to me.
Is practically a victimless crime. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Is practically a victimless crime.
You've got to be married, otherwise you seem nuts, but... - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:06
You've got to be married, otherwise you seem nuts, but....
...you are allowed to murder your spouse, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:08
...you are allowed to murder your spouse,
You trying to tell me there are those among you who are still skeptical? - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
You trying to tell me there are those among you who are stil...
You saying there are people here right now who still don't believe me - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:08
You saying there are people here right now who still don...
But if you're walking down the street, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:12
But if you're walking down the street,
-"Have a good day, sir." Right? - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
-"Have a good day, sir." Right?