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Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward

Should you ask, "Anthony, why would anyoneever let you hold their baby?" The answer is...

Should you ask, "Anthony, why would anyone
ever let you hold their baby?" The answer is simple

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.046
Should you ask, "Anthony,
00:00:02.544 --> 00:00:05.463
why would anyone ever let you hold their baby?"
00:00:06.422 --> 00:00:07.757
The answer is simple.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
41
Timestamp in Movie
00:19:12
Uploaded
Jun 05, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
A24

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Movie Summary

Forging his own comedic boundaries, Anthony Jeselnik revels in getting away with saying things others can't in this stand-up special shot in New York.
The only negative, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:07
The only negative,
People try to shame you when you drop their baby... - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
People try to shame you when you drop their baby...
...even though I almost always make it look like an accident. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
...even though I almost always make it look like an accident...
And then scoop it right back up before anybody sees you? - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
And then scoop it right back up before anybody sees you?
No shit, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
No shit,
You just hand the baby back and no one is the wiser. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
You just hand the baby back and no one is the wiser.
One of my friends come up and said, "Anthony, I got to go to the bathroom. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
One of my friends come up and said, "Anthony, I got to ...
Will you hold my baby?" - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Will you hold my baby?"
Held that baby 30, 45 seconds, a personal best. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Held that baby 30, 45 seconds, a personal best.
I'll be honest, I don't really understand - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
I'll be honest, I don't really understand
I think it's unfair, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
I think it's unfair,
One of my next-door neighbor's kids is climbing a tree on their property. - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:06
One of my next-door neighbor's kids is climbing a tree ...
Falls out of the tree - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Falls out of the tree
Now I'm being told I've got to get myself a lawyer... - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
Now I'm being told I've got to get myself a lawyer...
Two years old, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:10
Two years old,
Anytime she sees me, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
Anytime she sees me,
You get to laugh at what I said, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:05
You get to laugh at what I said,
And then you get a second laugh when you picture me... - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:04
And then you get a second laugh when you picture me...
And most people when they picture it, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:07
And most people when they picture it,
In fact, - Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward 00:07
In fact,