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Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart

I was like, "That's unreasonable.Now, zero now." You do this to yourself.I just took it....

I was like, "That's unreasonable.
Now, zero now." You do this to yourself.
I just took it. Took it

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.461
I was like, "That's unreasonable. Now, zero now."
00:00:04.587 --> 00:00:07.173
You do this to yourself. I just took it. Took it.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
45
Timestamp in Movie
00:39:48
Uploaded
Apr 01, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Comedian Ari Shaffir tackles controversial topics like terrorism, gun violence, racism, and more in his stand-up special. With a darkly humorous approach, he explores unexpected perspectives on sensitive social and political issues.
Took the whole thing. Just-- I just put it on the bottom shelf of the cart, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:08
Took the whole thing. Just-- I just put it on the bottom she...
[laughs] - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:09
[laughs]
So the regular part of the cart, that's just like, yo, you pay for that. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
So the regular part of the cart, that's just like, yo, ...
And then there's this bottom shelf that, I don't know if you even noticed it. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
And then there's this bottom shelf that, I don't k...
That's where all your free stuff goes. That's where all your-- - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:09
That's where all your free stuff goes. That's wher...
Here's the worst-case-- - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
Here's the worst-case--
You got all your paid stuff, all your free stuff, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:09
You got all your paid stuff, all your free stuff,
Then some clerk, he sees you, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
Then some clerk, he sees you,
He goes, "Excuse me." - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:20
He goes, "Excuse me."
I really do. I know a lot of comedians come with a message - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:07
I really do. I know a lot of comedians come with a message
Start small. Like there's no reason to pay for a banana in this town. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
Start small. Like there's no reason to pay for a banana...
Just get the banana at Starbucks, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:09
Just get the banana at Starbucks,
They'll see you, assume you're late for a meeting, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
They'll see you, assume you're late for a meeting,
Yeah. Let me tell you guys a stereotype about white people - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
Yeah. Let me tell you guys a stereotype about white people
We all look like the type of person that brought a banana from home. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
We all look like the type of person that brought a banana fr...
[chuckles] - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
[chuckles]
If you had a police lineup with a white guy, a Black guy, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:19
If you had a police lineup with a white guy, a Black guy,
But until that happens, man, you make excellent decoys. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
But until that happens, man, you make excellent decoys.
If I'm in CVS and three brothers walk in, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
If I'm in CVS and three brothers walk in,
I just turned invisible. All right. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
I just turned invisible. All right.