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Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart

Black people, you gotta be white someday.It rules so fucking hard

[laughs] Black people, you gotta be white someday.
It rules so fucking hard

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.918
[laughs]
00:00:04.712 --> 00:00:08.048
Black people, you gotta be white someday. It rules so fucking hard.
Duration
9 seconds
Views
26
Timestamp in Movie
00:40:07
Uploaded
Apr 01, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Comedian Ari Shaffir tackles controversial topics like terrorism, gun violence, racism, and more in his stand-up special. With a darkly humorous approach, he explores unexpected perspectives on sensitive social and political issues.
So the regular part of the cart, that's just like, yo, you pay for that. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
So the regular part of the cart, that's just like, yo, ...
And then there's this bottom shelf that, I don't know if you even noticed it. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
And then there's this bottom shelf that, I don't k...
That's where all your free stuff goes. That's where all your-- - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:09
That's where all your free stuff goes. That's wher...
Here's the worst-case-- - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
Here's the worst-case--
You got all your paid stuff, all your free stuff, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:09
You got all your paid stuff, all your free stuff,
Then some clerk, he sees you, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
Then some clerk, he sees you,
He goes, "Excuse me." - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:20
He goes, "Excuse me."
I really do. I know a lot of comedians come with a message - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:07
I really do. I know a lot of comedians come with a message
Start small. Like there's no reason to pay for a banana in this town. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
Start small. Like there's no reason to pay for a banana...
Just get the banana at Starbucks, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:09
Just get the banana at Starbucks,
They'll see you, assume you're late for a meeting, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
They'll see you, assume you're late for a meeting,
Yeah. Let me tell you guys a stereotype about white people - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
Yeah. Let me tell you guys a stereotype about white people
We all look like the type of person that brought a banana from home. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
We all look like the type of person that brought a banana fr...
[chuckles] - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
[chuckles]
If you had a police lineup with a white guy, a Black guy, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:19
If you had a police lineup with a white guy, a Black guy,
But until that happens, man, you make excellent decoys. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
But until that happens, man, you make excellent decoys.
If I'm in CVS and three brothers walk in, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
If I'm in CVS and three brothers walk in,
I just turned invisible. All right. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
I just turned invisible. All right.
You could be like, "I'm stealing!" Like, "Not right now." - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:22
You could be like, "I'm stealing!" Like, &quo...
And it's all fucking political too. Goddamn, I hate that shit so much. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
And it's all fucking political too. Goddamn, I hate tha...