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Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart

The whole sport is 12-year-oldsin bathing suits stretching

[laughs] The whole sport is 12-year-olds
in bathing suits stretching

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.334
[laughs]
00:00:02.335 --> 00:00:05.588
The whole sport is 12-year-olds in bathing suits stretching.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
53
Timestamp in Movie
00:05:15
Uploaded
Apr 01, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Comedian Ari Shaffir tackles controversial topics like terrorism, gun violence, racism, and more in his stand-up special. With a darkly humorous approach, he explores unexpected perspectives on sensitive social and political issues.
[chuckles] - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
[chuckles]
Pedophiles, yeah. [laughs] - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:18
Pedophiles, yeah. [laughs]
Yeah. I wanna see it bad too. I really wanna see it bad. I wanna see-- - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:07
Yeah. I wanna see it bad too. I really wanna see it bad. I w...
[audience laughs and groans] - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
[audience laughs and groans]
I just want to hear the announcer go, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:17
I just want to hear the announcer go,
I like when they mess up at the end too. That's my favorite. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
I like when they mess up at the end too. That's my favo...
The part nobody cares about. You know? - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
The part nobody cares about. You know?
If I tell you, "Picture gymnastics in your head," - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
If I tell you, "Picture gymnastics in your head,"
And that's the part that ruins it? Oh, that's so funny to me. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
And that's the part that ruins it? Oh, that's so f...
When they're up there and most of the way through, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
When they're up there and most of the way through,
You could be like, "Not a single broken bag today." - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:08
You could be like, "Not a single broken bag today."...
If you're a lawyer, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:11
If you're a lawyer,
And, uh, they're up there too, doing all their flips, - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:07
And, uh, they're up there too, doing all their flips,
"I'm crushing this. I'm gonna win Olympic gold. This is a ten-point-oh." - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:12
"I'm crushing this. I'm gonna win Olympic gol...
"Fuck!" - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:09
"Fuck!"
They just wanna cry. We're like, "Ah! Do the hands first." - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:06
They just wanna cry. We're like, "Ah! Do the hands...
Yeah, we're all at home, going, "You fucking bitch." - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:09
Yeah, we're all at home, going, "You fucking bitch...
[audience applauds] - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:14
[audience applauds]
Here's how I do it. Here's how I stay away from negative shit and stay positive. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
Here's how I do it. Here's how I stay away from ne...
I-- For the last five years, I have not read or watched the news. - Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart 00:05
I-- For the last five years, I have not read or watched the ...