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Dr. Evil:Gentlemen, I have a plan. It's called blackmail. The Royal Family of Britain are the wealthiest landowners in the world. Either The Royal Family pays us an exorbitant amount of money, or we make it seen that Prince Charles has had an affair outside of marriage and therefore would have to divorce!Number Two:Prince Charles *did* have an affair. He admitted it, and they are now divorced.Dr. Evil:Right, people you have to tell me these things, okay? I've been frozen for thirty years, okay? Throw me a frickin' bone here! I'm the boss! Need the info.Dr. Evil:Okay no problem. Here's my second plan. Back in the 60's, I had a weather changing machine that was, in essence, a sophisticated heat beam which we called a "laser." Using these "lasers," we punch a hole in the protective layer around the Earth, which we scientists call the "Ozone Layer." Slowly but surely, ultraviolet rays would pour in, increasing the risk of skin cancer. That is unless the world pays us a hefty ransom.Number Two: That also already has happened.Dr. Evil:Shit. Oh hell, let's just do what we always do. Hijack some nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage. Yeah? Good! Gentlemen, it has come to my attention that a breakaway Russian Republic called Kreplachistan will be transferring a nuclear warhead to the United Nations in a few days. Here's the plan. We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for... ONE MILLION DOLLARS!Number Two:Don't you think we should ask for *more* than a million dollars? A million dollars isn't exactly a lot of money these days. Virtucon alone makes over 9 billion dollars a year!Dr. Evil:Really? That's a lot of money.Dr. Evil:Okay then, we hold the world ransom for...Dr. Evil:One... Hundred... BILLION DOLLARS!
Full Transcript
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Gentlemen
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I have a plan
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it's called blackmail
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As you know the royal family of Britain
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are the wealthiest landowners in the world
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Either the royal family pays us an exorbitant amount of money
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or we make it seem that
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Prince Charles has had an affair outside of marriage
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and therefore would have to divorce
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Prince Charles did have an affair
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He admitted it and they are now divorced
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Right OK people you have to tell me these things
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I've been frozen for 30 years OK
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Throw me a fricking bone here
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I'm the boss Need the info
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OK no problem Here's my second plan
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Back in the '60s I developed a weather changing machine
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which in essence a sophisticated heat beam which we called a laser
00:01:09.025 --> 00:01:13.208
Using these lasers we punch a hole in the protective layer
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around the world which we call the ozone layer
00:01:17.958 --> 00:01:21.625
Slowly but surely ultraviolet rays would pour in
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increasing the risk of skin cancer
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That is unless the world pays us a hefty ransom
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That also already has happened
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Shit
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Oh hell let's just do what we always do
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Hijack some nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage Good
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Gentlemen it's come to my attention
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that a breakaway Russian republic
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Kreplachistan is about to transfer a nuclear warhead
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to the United Nations in a few days Here's the plan
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We get the warhead and hold the world ransom for
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1 million
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Don't you think we should maybe ask for more than 1 million
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1 million isn't exactly a lot of money these days
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Virtucon alone makes over 9 billion a year
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Really
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That's a lot more OK then we hold the world ransom for
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Movie Summary
A world-class playboy and part-time secret agent from the 1960s emerges after thirty years in a cryogenic state to battle with his nemesis Dr. Evil.

