I thought it might pass,but it became an insecurity, which grew intoa raging madness...

I thought it might pass,
but it became an insecurity, which grew into
a raging madness within me. I could never tell whether these feelings
were because of him or whether they always existed deep down. Did it all happen because I was giving off
some vibe I wasn't aware of? Or did what happen make me this way? I would feel like
everyone who looked at me could see what I was going through. Like they were peering into my soul, seeing the rape
and the doubts and the confusion. Like my eyes were these windows onto the most tightly-held secret
of my life. I would dream of killing him, chopping his cock off or his tongue out,
whichever had done me the most damage, and burning his body to the ground. So after months
of hate and anger and confusion, I was left with no choice. [uneasy music continues] [moaning on laptop] [Donny] Oh, fuck