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Being John Malkovich

One day at work, unsuccessful puppeteer Craig finds a portal into the head of actor John Malkovich. The portal soon becomes a passion for anybody who enters its mad and controlling world of overtaking another human body.

Director

Spike Jonze

Year

Genre

comedy, drama, fantasy

Box Office

$22,863,596

Production

PolyGram Filmed Entertainment,Propaganda Films,Single Cell Pictures

Awards

Nominated for 3 Oscars. 48 wins & 79 nominations total

Craig Schwartz

Lotte Schwartz

Derek Mantini

Father at Puppet Show

Daughter at Puppet Show

Woman in Elevator

Octavia Spencer

Floris

Dr. Lester

Maxine Lund

Catherine Keener

Wendy

Captain Mertin

Tiny Woman

John Horatio Malkovich

Cab Driver

Guy in Restaurant

First J.M. Inc. Customer

Don (as Reggie Hayes)

Reginald C. Hayes

Charlie

Sad Man in Line

Mr. Hiroshi

Bill M. Ryusaki

Larry the Agent

Johnson Heyward

Malkovich's Mother

Boy Malkovich

Drunk at Bar

Gregory Sporleder

Girl Creeped Out by Malkovich

Emily

Lester's Friend

Jacqueline BenoÃ®t

Lester's Friend (as William N. Buck)

Lester's Friend

Christine D. Coleman

Lester's Friend

Lester's Friend (as Audrey Gelfand)

Lester's Friend

Lester's Friend

Sylvester Jenkins

Lester's Friend

Lester's Friend

Lester's Friend

Ralph W. Spaulding

Lester's Friend

Lester's Friend

Ballet Dancer

Ballet Dancer

Marlowe Bassett

Ballet Dancer

Jennifer Canzoneri

Ballet Dancer

Ballet Dancer

Denise Dabrowski

Ballet Dancer (as Kristin D'Andrea)

Ballet Dancer

Charlene Grimsley

Ballet Dancer

Christine Krejer

Ballet Dancer

Ballet Dancer

Yvonne Montelius

Ballet Dancer

Jessica Neuberger

Ballet Dancer

Ballet Dancer

Elizabeth Rivera

Ballet Dancer

Chelsa Sjostrom

Featured Character Voice (voice)

Featured Character Voice (voice)

Featured Character Voice (voice)

Michelle Madden

Featured Character Voice (voice)

Featured Character Voice (voice)

Featured Character Voice (voice)

Locker Room Bully

Cab Driver

Self (archive footage)

Bartender

Eddie L. Fauria

Christopher Bing

Lester's Friend

Jester Hairston

Self at Awards Ceremony (archive footage)

Self (archive footage)

Self (archive footage)

Willy Loman (archive footage)

Student

Derek Mantini's Assistant for Emily Dickinson Puppet

Student Puppeteer

Sean Penn

Brad Pitt

Dancing Malkovich

Self (archive footage)

Austin (archive footage)

Mr. Malkovich Sr.

Trevor Lawrence Young

View All Cast

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Explore 176 Clips

Craig Schwartz John Malkovich Lotte Schwartz Guy In Restaurant Maxine Lund Floris Charlie John Horatio Malkovich Larry The Agent Dr. Lester First J.m. Inc. Customer Woman In Elevator Lester's Friend Cab Driver Sad Man In Line

Craig, honey, it's time for bed. - Being John Malkovich

Craig, honey, it's time for bed.

Craig, honey, time to get up. - Being John Malkovich

Craig, honey, time to get up.

'And on the lighter side of the news, in Westchester County today 'puppeteer Derek Mantini thrilled onlookers as he performed "The Belle of Amherst" 'with a 60-foot Emily Dickinson puppet.' 'How dreary to be somebody. - Being John Malkovich

'And on the lighter side of the news, in Westchester...

Gimmicky bastard - Being John Malkovich

Gimmicky bastard

You don't know how lucky you are, being a monkey. - Being John Malkovich

You don't know how lucky you are, being a monkey.

'While we enjoy the pleasures of an uneasy love 'and abandon ourselves to fornication, 'we were spared God's severity.' 'Say no more, I beg you, and cease from complaints like these 'which are so far removed from the true depths of love.' Look, a puppet s - Being John Malkovich

'While we enjoy the pleasures of an uneasy love...

'Even during the celebration of Mass'when our prayers should be pure'lewd visions of these pleasures take such a hold upon my unhappy soul'that my thoughts are on their very wantonness'instead of my prayers ''Sometimes my thoughts are betrayed by the - Being John Malkovich

'Even during the celebration of Mass'when our...

Uh, Craig! - Being John Malkovich

Seven and a half, right? - Being John Malkovich

Seven and a half, right?

Seven and a half. - Being John Malkovich

Seven and a half.

Welcome to Lestercorp How may we meet your filing needsNo no UmMy name's Craig Schwartz and I have an interview with Dr LesterOh Please have a seat Mr Juarez SchwartzPardon SchwartzI'm I'm sorry I have no idea what you're saying to me right nowMy name is - Being John Malkovich

Welcome to Lestercorp How may we meet your filing needsNo no...

Mr Juarez? - Being John Malkovich

It's just a little mix up with your secretaryMy name is Craig Schwartz I tried to explain that to herShe's not my secretaryShe's what they call an executive liaison AhAnd I'm not banging her if that's what you're implying - Being John Malkovich

It's just a little mix up with your secretaryMy name is...

Ah. Well, now... Tell me, Dr Schwartz, what do you feel you can bring to Lestercorp? Uh, well, sir, - Being John Malkovich

Ah. Well, now... Tell me, Dr Schwartz, what do you feel you...

Tell me which of these two letters comes firstThis one or this oneThe symbol on the left is not a letter sirDamn you're goodI was trying to trick you I see - Being John Malkovich

Tell me which of these two letters comes firstThis one or...

The symbol on the left is not a letter, sir. - Being John Malkovich

The symbol on the left is not a letter, sir.

Floris, get Guinness on the phone. - Being John Malkovich

Floris, get Guinness on the phone.

You see she's got her doctoratein speech impedimentology from Case Western - Being John Malkovich

You see she's got her doctoratein speech...

I apologize if you can't understand a word I'm saying - Being John Malkovich

I apologize if you can't understand a word I'm...

You got the job. - Being John Malkovich

You got the job.

Moving story, huh? - Being John Malkovich

Moving story, huh?

Listen, I'm Craig Schwartz. - Being John Malkovich

Listen, I'm Craig Schwartz.

Shut up! - Being John Malkovich

So, honey, have you thought any more about us having a baby? - Being John Malkovich

So, honey, have you thought any more about us having a baby?

I was thinking about what you were saying the other day - about the orientation film being bullshit. - Being John Malkovich

I was thinking about what you were saying the other day -...

Here's the thingIf you ever got meyou wouldn't have a clue what to do with me - Being John Malkovich

Here's the thingIf you ever got meyou wouldn't...

I wasn't... - Being John Malkovich

Here's the thing - Being John Malkovich

Here's the thing

Ooh what magic those fingers could work on the right cabinet MmMaybe you could alphabetise meAnd don't forgetcomes before - Being John Malkovich

Ooh what magic those fingers could work on the right cabinet...

Don't toy with Floris Schwartz Oh noIf I was 80 years younger I'd box your earsI wasn't toying with her sir I wouldn'tPardon me How old are you sir 105Carrot juice and lots of itI swear sometimes it's not worth it I piss orangeAnd I have to piss sitting - Being John Malkovich

Don't toy with Floris Schwartz Oh noIf I was 80 years...

Ah to be a young man again eh SchwartzMaybe then Floris would care for meBut the elderly have so much to offer sir They're our link with historyI don't wanna be your goddamn link damn yaI want to feel Floris's naked thighs next to mineI want my body to - Being John Malkovich

Ah to be a young man again eh SchwartzMaybe then Floris...

Listen to Lester's sexual fantasies and drink carrot juice for a whileYou know it's a job thing really - Being John Malkovich

Listen to Lester's sexual fantasies and drink carrot...

Yeah. So, I'll talk to you later, OK? Yeah. You too. Gotta go back to work. OK, bye. Hi. Do you know - Being John Malkovich

Yeah. So, I'll talk to you later, OK? Yeah. You too....

Hi Do you know that I don't even know your name or where you workYeah - Being John Malkovich

Hi Do you know that I don't even know your name or...

If I can guess your name in three triesyou have to come have a drink with me tonightWhy notOKYou look like aBarRuBell LuL CarolTa ShanSusannEmm ilyMar larMaax ine M M MaxineYeah Who told youNobody told me That just came outDon't you think Isn't that odd - Being John Malkovich

If I can guess your name in three triesyou have to come have...

OK meet me at The Stuck Pig seven o'clockIf you're late I walk - Being John Malkovich

OK meet me at The Stuck Pig seven o'clockIf you're...

Nubile BlondeWet with desire Me in leatherA harness if you likeAnd all eyes Craig are upon me as I speakLadies I beginam the love god Eros They like thatintoxicate youMy spunk is to you manna from heavenDr Lester this is all really fascinating and - Being John Malkovich

Nubile BlondeWet with desire Me in leatherA harness if you...

Buy you a drink Maxine MaxineAre you marriedYeah But enough about me Yeah - Being John Malkovich

Buy you a drink Maxine MaxineAre you marriedYeah But enough...

I don't know what it is about you I just My titsNo No no no NoNo it's your energy your attitude the way you carry yourselfYou're not a fag are youNo I am really attracted to youam really attracted to you Christ you are a fagOK well we can share recipes if - Being John Malkovich

I don't know what it is about you I just My titsNo No...

I'm a puppeteer - Being John Malkovich

I'm a puppeteer

- H6Y- - H6Y- I'm sorry I'm so late. - Being John Malkovich

- H6Y- - H6Y- I'm sorry I'm so late.

- How was your evening? - Being John Malkovich

- How was your evening?

Tell me, Craig, why do you love puppeteering? - Being John Malkovich

Tell me, Craig, why do you love puppeteering?

It's good in here, Craig. - Being John Malkovich

It's good in here, Craig.

You're not somebody I could get interested in, Craig. - Being John Malkovich

You're not somebody I could get interested in, Craig.

Yeah. Yeah. What's the file number? Yep. - Being John Malkovich

Yeah. Yeah. What's the file number? Yep.

Oh, you know what? - Being John Malkovich

Oh, you know what?

The Broadhurst Theatre pleaseHey say uh ain't you that actor guyYesJohn uh What is uh John um uhUh don't tell me MaplethorpeMalkovich Malkovich Right right OK - Being John Malkovich

The Broadhurst Theatre pleaseHey say uh ain't you that...

Hey, say, uh... - Being John Malkovich

Hey, say, uh...

OK yeah I thought you were all right in that one movieThank youThe one where you played a jewel thiefI never played a jewel thief NoWho am I thinking of I don't knowJust uhNo no I'm pretty sure it was you - Being John Malkovich

OK yeah I thought you were all right in that one movieThank...

Yeah. Absolutely, doll. Yeah, I'm just about to close up. Wanna meet at the Pig in twenty minutes? C - Being John Malkovich

Yeah. Absolutely, doll. Yeah, I'm just about to close...

There's a tiny door in my office MaxineIt's a portal and it takes you inside John MalkovichYou see the world through John Malkovich's eyesand then after about 15 minutes you're spit outinto a ditch on the side of the New Jersey TurnpikeSounds great Who - Being John Malkovich

There's a tiny door in my office MaxineIt's a...

You see the world through John Malkovich's eyesand then after about 15 minutes you're spit outinto a ditch on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike - Being John Malkovich

You see the world through John Malkovich's eyesand then...

Do you see what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is - Being John Malkovich

Do you see what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is

I don't see how I could go on living my life the way I've lived it before. - Being John Malkovich

I don't see how I could go on living my life the way...

Yeah? 'So I've been thinking, is this Malkovich fellow appealing?' Maxine! - Being John Malkovich

Yeah? 'So I've been thinking, is this Malkovich...

'I need you for this Craigy You're my man on the inside 'You need meI'm your man'Sure whatever ' - Being John Malkovich

'I need you for this Craigy You're my man on the...

We don't know the significance of this thingIt might be dangerous to toy with'Well I'll protect you doll face - Being John Malkovich

We don't know the significance of this thingIt might be...

Who was that? - Being John Malkovich

Yeah but Craig I don't understand There's notThere's no such thing as a hole or a portal into somebody's brain - Being John Malkovich

Yeah but Craig I don't understand There's...

I was inside John Malkovich looking out - Being John Malkovich

I was inside John Malkovich looking out

I'm scared. - Being John Malkovich

It's wet. - Being John Malkovich

That's nice. - Being John Malkovich

Craig! Craig, I gotta go back! - No! - Maybe tomorrow. - No, no, no...! I gotta go back now! - We'll - Being John Malkovich

Craig! Craig, I gotta go back! - No! - Maybe tomorrow. - No,...

It's like everything made sense, you know? - Being John Malkovich

It's like everything made sense, you know?

So tell me, Lotte, can you understand a word I'm saying? - Being John Malkovich

So tell me, Lotte, can you understand a word I'm...

Dr Lester, would you mind just pointing me in the direction of the restroom? - Being John Malkovich

Dr Lester, would you mind just pointing me in the direction...

I think it's kind of sexy that John Malkovich has a portal you knowSort of like it's like he's a vaginaIt's sort of vaginal like he has ahe has a penis and a vaginaIt's sort of likeMalkovich's feminine sideI like that - Being John Malkovich

I think it's kind of sexy that John Malkovich has a...

I've been going over and over my experience last night CraigIt was amazingI've decidedthat I'm a transsexualI know it's the craziest thing Craig What are you fucking nutsNo It's just that for the first time everything just felt rightI've got to make - Being John Malkovich

I've been going over and over my experience last night...

Don't stand in the way of my actualisation as a man - Being John Malkovich

Don't stand in the way of my actualisation as a man

Davey, it's Max. - Being John Malkovich

Davey, it's Max.

- Yeah? - 'Mr John Malkovich?' - Yeah. - Being John Malkovich

- Yeah? - 'Mr John Malkovich?' - Yeah.

'My nipples are at attention General Malkovich sir ' - Being John Malkovich

'My nipples are at attention General Malkovich sir...

You're not gonna meet her there? - Being John Malkovich

You're not gonna meet her there?

How was it? - Being John Malkovich

- Excuse me. - Being John Malkovich

You're so beautifulThe way you're looking at me I mean at him at usI've never been looked at like this by a woman beforeI think I'm sweating - Being John Malkovich

You're so beautifulThe way you're looking at me I...

Now when you say that I can be somebody else what do you mean exactlyWell we mean exactly thatWe can put you inside someone else's body for 15 minutesCan I be anybody that I wanna beWell youActually You can be John MalkovichThat's perfectIt's my second - Being John Malkovich

Now when you say that I can be somebody else what do you...

OK. You gotta crawl in there. Oh, my God. - Being John Malkovich

OK. You gotta crawl in there. Oh, my God.

No, that's what I'm saying. - Being John Malkovich

No, that's what I'm saying.

You're my friends. - Being John Malkovich

You're my friends.

So much snow. - Being John Malkovich

- This the bedroom? - Being John Malkovich

- This the bedroom?

And the ones who don't go after what they want, well, who gives a shit about them anyway? - Being John Malkovich

And the ones who don't go after what they want, well,...

Lotte CraigI just I don't find you attractive hmAnd Lotte I'm smitten with youI am but only when you're in MalkovichWhen I looked into his eyes last night I could feel you peering outReally YeahBehind the stubble and the too prominent brow and the male - Being John Malkovich

Lotte CraigI just I don't find you attractive hmAnd...

J.M. Inc. 'Hi. It's Lotte. 'I'd like very much to see you again. 'Can you call him and invite yourse - Being John Malkovich

J.M. Inc. 'Hi. It's Lotte. 'I'd like...

Thanks so much for having me over, sugarplum. - Being John Malkovich

Thanks so much for having me over, sugarplum.

So do... do you enjoy being an actor? - Being John Malkovich

So do... do you enjoy being an actor?

Hi. Hi. Oh. Oh, boy! Yeah! - Being John Malkovich

Hi. Hi. Oh. Oh, boy! Yeah!

Being John Malkovich poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

One day at work, unsuccessful puppeteer Craig finds a portal into the head of actor John Malkovich. The portal soon becomes a passion for anybody who enters its mad and controlling world of overtaking another human body.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Spike Jonze

Writer: Charlie Kaufman

Production: PolyGram Filmed Entertainment,Propaganda Films,Single Cell Pictures

Genre: comedy, drama, fantasy

Year: 1999

MetaScore: 90/100

ImdbRating: 7.8

BoxOffice: $22,863,596

Released: 03 Dec 1999

Awards: Nominated for 3 Oscars. 48 wins & 79 nominations total

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