"Being John Malkovich" quotes

Being John Malkovich poster
A puppeteer discovers a portal that leads literally into the head of movie star John Malkovich.

Director: Spike Jonze
Writer: Charlie Kaufman
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, drama, fantasy
Year: 1999
MetaScore: 90/100
ImdbRating: 7.8
BoxOffice: $22,863,596
Released: 03 Dec 1999
Awards: Nominated for 3 Oscars. 48 wins & 79 nominations total

73 Clips

I've gotta know the truth - Being John Malkovich 00:17
I've gotta know the truth
I've fallen in love - Being John Malkovich 00:34
I've fallen in love
I've been going over and over my experience last night - Being John Malkovich 02:39
I've been going over and over my experience last night
I've always wondered what it would be like to have a penis - Being John Malkovich 00:19
I've always wondered what it would be like to have a penis
It isn't just playing with dolls - Being John Malkovich 00:22
It isn't just playing with dolls
I'm a puppeteer - Being John Malkovich 00:17
I'm a puppeteer
If I can guess your name in three tries - Being John Malkovich 00:57
If I can guess your name in three tries
I thought you were alright in that one movie - Being John Malkovich 00:40
I thought you were alright in that one movie
I was thinking about what you were saying the other day - Being John Malkovich 00:44
I was thinking about what you were saying the other day
It's time for bed - Being John Malkovich 00:20
It's time for bed
I think it's kinda sexy that John Malkovich has a portal - Being John Malkovich 00:36
I think it's kinda sexy that John Malkovich has a portal
I need you for this - Being John Malkovich 00:17
I need you for this
I made him move his arm across your girlfriend's glorious tit - Being John Malkovich 00:47
I made him move his arm across your girlfriend's glorious...
I just I don't find you attractive - Being John Malkovich 01:04
I just I don't find you attractive
I was inside John Malkovich lookin' out - Being John Malkovich 00:15
I was inside John Malkovich lookin' out
I have seen a world that NO man should see - Being John Malkovich 00:27
I have seen a world that NO man should see
I don't understand - Being John Malkovich 00:27
I don't understand
I don't know what it is about you - Being John Malkovich 00:57
I don't know what it is about you
You're nuts to let a girl go that calls you Lotte - Being John Malkovich 00:23
You're nuts to let a girl go that calls you Lotte
You're not someone I could get interested in - Being John Malkovich 00:40
You're not someone I could get interested in
You're so beautiful - Being John Malkovich 00:33
You're so beautiful
You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes - Being John Malkovich 00:36
You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes
You overrated piece of shit - Being John Malkovich 00:27
You overrated piece of shit
Hot lesbian witches - Being John Malkovich 00:15
Hot lesbian witches
Here's the thing - Being John Malkovich 00:23
Here's the thing
Gimmicky bastard - Being John Malkovich 00:10
Gimmicky bastard
Get Guinness on the phone - Being John Malkovich 00:16
Get Guinness on the phone
Even during the celebration of mass - Being John Malkovich 01:17
Even during the celebration of mass
Don't toy with Floris - Being John Malkovich 01:00
Don't toy with Floris
Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man - Being John Malkovich 00:17
Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man
Don't forget about me - Being John Malkovich 00:21
Don't forget about me
Do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is - Being John Malkovich 00:19
Do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is
Do you have any idea what it's like to have two people look at you - Being John Malkovich 00:41
Do you have any idea what it's like to have two people look...
Did you call me Lotte - Being John Malkovich 00:11
Did you call me Lotte
Be all that someone else can be - Being John Malkovich 00:13
Be all that someone else can be
Are you John Malkovich - Being John Malkovich 00:52
Are you John Malkovich
And there are lies - Being John Malkovich 00:21
And there are lies
And he was with her - Being John Malkovich 00:11
And he was with her
And all I ask in return is the opportunity to do my work - Being John Malkovich 00:46
And all I ask in return is the opportunity to do my work
Ah to be a young man again - Being John Malkovich 02:08
Ah to be a young man again
After a fashion - Being John Malkovich 01:17
After a fashion
You get to be John Malkovich for 15 minutes - Being John Malkovich 00:27
You get to be John Malkovich for 15 minutes
You fell in love with her first - Being John Malkovich 00:37
You fell in love with her first
With all due respect - Being John Malkovich 00:51
With all due respect
Why do you love puppetering - Being John Malkovich 01:16
Why do you love puppetering
Why do you do this to yourself - Being John Malkovich 00:16
Why do you do this to yourself
Why are these ceilings so low - Being John Malkovich 00:29
Why are these ceilings so low
Which of these two letters comes first - Being John Malkovich 00:32
Which of these two letters comes first
What magic those fingers could work on the right cabinet - Being John Malkovich 00:29
What magic those fingers could work on the right cabinet
What have I become - Being John Malkovich 00:17
What have I become
What happens when a man goes through his own portal - Being John Malkovich 00:17
What happens when a man goes through his own portal
Wet with desire - Being John Malkovich 01:19
Wet with desire
Welcome to Lestercorp - Being John Malkovich 01:14
Welcome to Lestercorp
We were spared God's severity - Being John Malkovich 00:48
We were spared God's severity
We don't know the significance of this thing - Being John Malkovich 00:26
We don't know the significance of this thing
Was ever woman in this humour won - Being John Malkovich 00:21
Was ever woman in this humour won
This is so good - Being John Malkovich 00:43
This is so good
There's a tiny door in my office - Being John Malkovich 02:58
There's a tiny door in my office
The weird thing is - Being John Malkovich 00:57
The weird thing is
The puppeteer told me he loved me today - Being John Malkovich 00:23
The puppeteer told me he loved me today
Are you married - Being John Malkovich 00:19
Are you married
The Broadhurst Theater - Being John Malkovich 00:17
The Broadhurst Theater
Something was making me talk - Being John Malkovich 00:44
Something was making me talk
Seven and a half - Being John Malkovich 00:15
Seven and a half
Please have a seat - Being John Malkovich 00:36
Please have a seat
Or where you work - Being John Malkovich 00:20
Or where you work
Now when you say that I can be somebody else - Being John Malkovich 00:56
Now when you say that I can be somebody else
Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate - Being John Malkovich 00:21
Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic...
My nipples are at attention - Being John Malkovich 00:16
My nipples are at attention
My name is Craig Schwartz - Being John Malkovich 00:19
My name is Craig Schwartz
Meet you in Malkovich in one hour - Being John Malkovich 00:14
Meet you in Malkovich in one hour
Meet me at the Stuck Pig - Being John Malkovich 00:15
Meet me at the Stuck Pig
Listen to Lester's sexual fantasies and drink carrot juice for awhile - Being John Malkovich 00:24
Listen to Lester's sexual fantasies and drink carrot juice...

Cast

Craig Schwartz - John Cusack
Lotte Schwartz - Cameron Diaz
Derek Mantini - Ned Bellamy
Father at Puppet Show - Eric Weinstein
Daughter at Puppet Show - Madison Lanc
Woman in Elevator - Octavia Spencer
Floris - Mary Kay Place
Dr. Lester - Orson Bean
Maxine Lund - Catherine Keener
Wendy - K.K. Dodds
Captain Mertin - Byrne Piven
Tiny Woman - Judith Wetzell
John Horatio Malkovich - John Malkovich
Cab Driver - Kevin Carroll
Guy in Restaurant - Willie Garson
First J.M. Inc. Customer - W. Earl Brown
Don (as Reggie Hayes) - Reginald C. Hayes
Charlie - Charlie Sheen
Sad Man in Line - Gerald Emerick
Mr. Hiroshi - Bill M. Ryusaki
Larry the Agent - Carlos Jacott
Johnson Heyward - Richard Fancy
Malkovich's Mother - Patti Tippo
Boy Malkovich - Daniel Hansen
Drunk at Bar - Gregory Sporleder
Girl Creeped Out by Malkovich - Mariah O'Brien
Emily - Kelly Teacher
Lester's Friend - Jacqueline Benoît
Lester's Friend (as William N. Buck) - William Buck
Lester's Friend - Christine D. Coleman
Lester's Friend - Jeanne Diehl
Lester's Friend (as Audrey Gelfand) - Audrey Gelfund
Lester's Friend - Yetta Ginsburg
Lester's Friend - Sylvester Jenkins
Lester's Friend - Roy C. Johnson
Lester's Friend - Eddie J. Low
Lester's Friend - Ralph W. Spaulding
Lester's Friend - David Wyler
Lester's Friend - Flori Wyler
Ballet Dancer - Kevin Lee
Ballet Dancer - Marlowe Bassett
Ballet Dancer - Jennifer Canzoneri
Ballet Dancer - Kristie Cordle
Ballet Dancer - Denise Dabrowski
Ballet Dancer (as Kristin D'Andrea) - Kristin Condon
Ballet Dancer - Charlene Grimsley
Ballet Dancer - Christine Krejer
Ballet Dancer - Erica Long
Ballet Dancer - Yvonne Montelius
Ballet Dancer - Jessica Neuberger
Ballet Dancer - Sara Rifkin
Ballet Dancer - Elizabeth Rivera
Ballet Dancer - Chelsa Sjostrom
Featured Character Voice (voice) - Pamela Hayden
Featured Character Voice (voice) - Jayne Hess
Featured Character Voice (voice) - Michelle Madden
Featured Character Voice (voice) - Greg O'Neill
Featured Character Voice (voice) - Neil Ross
Featured Character Voice (voice) - Bill Wittman
Locker Room Bully - Lance Bangs
Cab Driver - Kacee DeMasi
Self (archive footage) - Andy Dick
Bartender - Eddie L. Fauria
Christopher Bing - David Fincher
Lester's Friend - Jester Hairston
Self at Awards Ceremony (archive footage) - Isaac Hanson
Self (archive footage) - Taylor Hanson
Self (archive footage) - Zac Hanson
Willy Loman (archive footage) - Dustin Hoffman
Student - Victor Isaac
Derek Mantini's Assistant for Emily Dickinson Puppet - Spike Jonze
Student Puppeteer - James Murray
Sean Penn - Sean Penn
Brad Pitt - Brad Pitt
Dancing Malkovich - Patrick Ryan
Self (archive footage) - Winona Ryder
Austin (archive footage) - Gary Sinise
Mr. Malkovich Sr. - Trevor Lawrence Young