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"Being John Malkovich" quotes

Being John Malkovich poster
One day at work, unsuccessful puppeteer Craig finds a portal into the head of actor John Malkovich. The portal soon becomes a passion for anybody who enters its mad and controlling world of overtaking another human body.

Director: Spike Jonze
Writer: Charlie Kaufman
Production: N/A
Year: 1999
MetaScore: 90/100
ImdbRating: 7.8
BoxOffice: $22,863,596
Released: 03 Dec 1999
Awards: Nominated for 3 Oscars. 48 wins & 79 nominations total
What have I become - Being John Malkovich 00:09 What have I become No no no What are you doing What are you doing - Being John Malkovich 00:11 No no no What are you doing What are you doing You fell in love with her first - Being John Malkovich 00:15 You fell in love with her first What happens when a man goes through his own portal - Being John Malkovich 00:08 What happens when a man goes through his own portal After a fashion - Being John Malkovich 00:35 After a fashion You get to be John Malkovich for 15 minutes - Being John Malkovich 00:10 You get to be John Malkovich for 15 minutes Something was making me talk - Being John Malkovich 00:18 Something was making me talk This is so good - Being John Malkovich 00:23 This is so good Was ever woman in this humour won - Being John Malkovich 00:08 Was ever woman in this humour won You're so beautiful - Being John Malkovich 00:19 You're so beautiful I've been going over and over my experience last night - Being John Malkovich 01:08 I've been going over and over my experience last night I was inside John Malkovich   lookin' out - Being John Malkovich 00:05 I was inside John Malkovich lookin' out I don't understand - Being John Malkovich 00:10 I don't understand We don't know the significance of this thing - Being John Malkovich 00:11 We don't know the significance of this thing I need you for this - Being John Malkovich 00:12 I need you for this I thought you were alright in that one movie - Being John Malkovich 00:22 I thought you were alright in that one movie The Broadhurst Theater - Being John Malkovich 00:27 The Broadhurst Theater The puppeteer told me he loved me today - Being John Malkovich 00:09 The puppeteer told me he loved me today Listen to Lester's sexual fantasies and drink carrot juice for awhile - Being John Malkovich 00:07 Listen to Lester's sexual fantasies and drink carrot... Why do you do this to yourself - Being John Malkovich 00:05 Why do you do this to yourself I've always wondered what it would be like to have a penis - Being John Malkovich 00:06 I've always wondered what it would be like to have a... Meet me at the Stuck Pig - Being John Malkovich 00:08 Meet me at the Stuck Pig Don't forget about me - Being John Malkovich 00:09 Don't forget about me Or where you work - Being John Malkovich 00:06 Or where you work Gimmicky bastard - Being John Malkovich 00:04 Gimmicky bastard Lookin' great Flo - Being John Malkovich 00:06 Lookin' great Flo Get Guinness on the phone - Being John Malkovich 00:07 Get Guinness on the phone And he was with her - Being John Malkovich 00:12 And he was with her I'm a puppeteer - Being John Malkovich 00:06 I'm a puppeteer Are you married - Being John Malkovich 00:10 Are you married I've gotta know the truth - Being John Malkovich 00:08 I've gotta know the truth Do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is - Being John Malkovich 00:07 Do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes - Being John Malkovich 00:10 You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes I made him move his arm across your girlfriend's glorious tit - Being John Malkovich 00:22 I made him move his arm across your girlfriend's... My nipples are at attention - Being John Malkovich 00:06 My nipples are at attention It's just a little mix up with your secretary My name is Craig Schwartz - Being John Malkovich 00:14 It's just a little mix up with your secretary My name... Seven and a half - Being John Malkovich 00:05 Seven and a half Ah to be a young man again - Being John Malkovich 00:47 Ah to be a young man again Be all that someone else can be - Being John Malkovich 00:05 Be all that someone else can be What magic those fingers could work on the right cabinet - Being John Malkovich 00:14 What magic those fingers could work on the right cabinet I apologize if you can't understand a word I'm saying - Being John Malkovich 00:04 I apologize if you can't understand a word I'm... Wet with desire - Being John Malkovich 00:42 Wet with desire My name is Craig Schwartz - Being John Malkovich 00:09 My name is Craig Schwartz You're not someone I could get interested in - Being John Malkovich 00:15 You're not someone I could get interested in Don't toy with Floris - Being John Malkovich 00:30 Don't toy with Floris I was thinking about what you were saying the other day - Being John Malkovich 00:12 I was thinking about what you were saying the other day Why are these ceilings so low - Being John Malkovich 00:15 Why are these ceilings so low Did you call me Lotte - Being John Malkovich 00:16 Did you call me Lotte You see she's got her doctorate - Being John Malkovich 00:07 You see she's got her doctorate Suck my dick - Being John Malkovich 00:04 Suck my dick I don't know what it is about you - Being John Malkovich 00:27 I don't know what it is about you Here's the thing - Being John Malkovich 00:10 Here's the thing If I can guess your name in three tries - Being John Malkovich 00:53 If I can guess your name in three tries Do you have any idea what it's like to have two people look at you - Being John Malkovich 00:18 Do you have any idea what it's like to have two people... I just   I don't find you attractive - Being John Malkovich 00:31 I just I don't find you attractive Hey Malkovich think fast - Being John Malkovich 00:04 Hey Malkovich think fast I've fallen in love - Being John Malkovich 00:12 I've fallen in love You're nuts to let a girl go that calls you Lotte - Being John Malkovich 00:06 You're nuts to let a girl go that calls you Lotte Which of these two letters comes first - Being John Malkovich 00:17 Which of these two letters comes first It isn't just playing with dolls - Being John Malkovich 00:11 It isn't just playing with dolls Why do you love puppetering - Being John Malkovich 00:48 Why do you love puppetering Hot lesbian witches - Being John Malkovich 00:06 Hot lesbian witches Great to see you - Being John Malkovich 00:13 Great to see you You see I've been very lonely - Being John Malkovich 00:08 You see I've been very lonely The weird thing is - Being John Malkovich 00:20 The weird thing is I have seen a world that NO man should see - Being John Malkovich 00:08 I have seen a world that NO man should see Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man - Being John Malkovich 00:05 Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man Meet you in Malkovich in one hour - Being John Malkovich 00:05 Meet you in Malkovich in one hour With all due respect - Being John Malkovich 00:32 With all due respect Maxine - Being John Malkovich 00:22 Maxine There's a tiny door in my office - Being John Malkovich 00:58 There's a tiny door in my office Ma Sheen - Being John Malkovich 00:07 Ma Sheen Are you John Malkovich - Being John Malkovich 00:27 Are you John Malkovich I think it's kinda sexy that John Malkovich has a portal - Being John Malkovich 00:22 I think it's kinda sexy that John Malkovich has a... And there are lies - Being John Malkovich 00:08 And there are lies You overrated piece of shit - Being John Malkovich 00:11 You overrated piece of shit Malkovich Malkovich - Being John Malkovich 00:04 Malkovich Malkovich It's time for bed - Being John Malkovich 00:20 It's time for bed Even during the celebration of mass - Being John Malkovich 01:17 Even during the celebration of mass

Cast

Craig Schwartz - John Cusack
Lotte Schwartz - Cameron Diaz
Derek Mantini - Ned Bellamy
Father at Puppet Show - Eric Weinstein
Daughter at Puppet Show - Madison Lanc