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Hey let's do it on his dining room tableThen we'll make him eat an omelette off of itNoShut up you overrated sack of shit
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Being John Malkovich

Shut up, you overrated piece of shit

Maxine:Let's have sex on his table and then make him eat an omelette off of it.John Malkovich:NO!Craig Schwartz:Shut up, you overrated piece of shit

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.629
Hey let's do it on his dining room table
00:00:04.754 --> 00:00:06.631
Then we'll make him eat an omelette off of it
00:00:06.756 --> 00:00:08.999
No
00:00:08.174 --> 00:00:11.052
Shut up you overrated sack of shit
Available in 6 languages
Duration
12 seconds
Views
1,186
Timestamp in Movie
01:18:25
Uploaded
Mar 09, 2026
Genres
comedy, drama, fantasy
Production
PolyGram Filmed Entertainment,Propaganda Films,Single Cell Pictures

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Movie Summary

One day at work, unsuccessful puppeteer Craig finds a portal into the head of actor John Malkovich. The portal soon becomes a passion for anybody who enters its mad and controlling world of overtaking another human body.

Actors

Cameron Diaz
Lotte Schwartz
Cameron Diaz
Yes? Hi, Dr Lester. It's Lotte Schwartz. Craig's wife. Oh! Yes. Oh, my God. You'll catch your death - Being John Malkovich 00:19
Yes? Hi, Dr Lester. It's Lotte Schwartz. Craig's...
Here you are, my dear. - Being John Malkovich 00:55
Here you are, my dear.
My name is Craig Schwartz - Being John Malkovich 00:09
My name is Craig Schwartz
Everyone, this is Lotte. - Being John Malkovich 00:08
Everyone, this is Lotte.
Do a puppet show for me, Craig, honey. - Being John Malkovich 00:17
Do a puppet show for me, Craig, honey.
This is something that I call. - Being John Malkovich 00:09
This is something that I call.
That was incredible! - Being John Malkovich 00:16
That was incredible!
You see Maxine it isn't just playing with dollsOh my darling it's so much moreIt's playing with people - Being John Malkovich 00:11
You see Maxine it isn't just playing with dollsOh my...
So lovely I've always wondered what it would be like to have a penis - Being John Malkovich 00:06
So lovely I've always wondered what it would be like to...
Dr Lester, you've been so kind to me and trusting. - Being John Malkovich 00:38
Dr Lester, you've been so kind to me and trusting.
Hey JohnGreat to see you Sorry about the cunt at receptionThis is my fiancee Maxine Oh great to see you MaxineSorry about the cunt at reception Please have a seat - Being John Malkovich 00:16
Hey JohnGreat to see you Sorry about the cunt at...
Mm. Can I get you anything? Coffee? Water? No, thank you. - Teresa, get me chicken soup. - 'OK.' Chi - Being John Malkovich 00:13
Mm. Can I get you anything? Coffee? Water? No, thank you. -...
Larry? Uh... I want to get right to the point. From now on, I'm no longer an actor. I'm a puppeteer. - Being John Malkovich 00:13
Larry? Uh... I want to get right to the point. From now on,...
And I would like to redirect my career so that from now on the name John Malkovich will be synonymous with puppets. - Being John Malkovich 00:19
And I would like to redirect my career so that from now on...
Honey? Maxine? Maxine? I'm busy. Maxine, honey, it's on! - Being John Malkovich 00:15
Honey? Maxine? Maxine? I'm busy. Maxine, honey,...
'Yeah there's the truth and there are lies'and uh art always tells the truth even when it's lying ' - Being John Malkovich 00:08
'Yeah there's the truth and there are...
No no no What are you doing What are you doing - Being John Malkovich 00:11
No no no What are you doing What are you doing
Like that, little girl? - Being John Malkovich 00:11
Like that, little girl?
He called our bluff. - Being John Malkovich 00:18
He called our bluff.
If I can't have you, no one will. - Being John Malkovich 00:18
If I can't have you, no one will.