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as I reached into my pockets
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Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle

As I reached into my pockets, grabbed onto 658 tickets like they were a hot rattlesnake,...

as I reached into my pockets, grabbed onto 658 tickets like they were a hot rattlesnake, threw them in the air and went,
"Read 'em and weep, motherfuckers!"

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.167
...as I reached into my pockets,
00:00:04.044 --> 00:00:08.339
grabbed onto 658 tickets
00:00:08.424 --> 00:00:10.634
like they were a hot rattlesnake,
00:00:10.718 --> 00:00:14.555
threw them in the air and went, "Read 'em and weep, motherfuckers!"
Duration
16 seconds
Views
40
Timestamp in Movie
00:34:34
Uploaded
Mar 08, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

It follows Bert Kreischer as he spills on bodily emissions, being bullied by his kids and the end to his family's escape room outing.
"Let's fucking go!" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
"Let's fucking go!"
Principal sees this, makes a beeline to my wife, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:14
Principal sees this, makes a beeline to my wife,
"Sugar, he hasn't even started." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
"Sugar, he hasn't even started."
"Honey, honey, there's nine more prizes and his shirt's still on." - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:12
"Honey, honey, there's nine more prizes and his sh...
Prize number six, a mom unwittingly in the back - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:13
Prize number six, a mom unwittingly in the back
You either absolutely loved what was going on, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:08
You either absolutely loved what was going on,
And if you hated it, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
And if you hated it,
...were unhappy with the outcome of their day, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:08
...were unhappy with the outcome of their day,
Look, when he called prize 12, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
Look, when he called prize 12,
And as he called the number, I go to hit the first "Suck it" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:07
And as he called the number, I go to hit the first "Suc...
Ten drunks dads are pounding on the table going, "Recount! Recount!" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:12
Ten drunks dads are pounding on the table going, "Recou...
They're like, "That's what you get, fat boy!" - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:13
They're like, "That's what you get, fat boy!&...
And then I spent the rest of the night drunk, shirtless with my ears pierced... - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
And then I spent the rest of the night drunk, shirtless with...
...holding 11 prizes, walking up to parents, going, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:16
...holding 11 prizes, walking up to parents, going,
That she got the... She doesn't always get the joke, you know? - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
That she got the... She doesn't always get the joke, yo...
I'm on a flight with my wife to Burlington, Vermont. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
I'm on a flight with my wife to Burlington, Vermont.
If you do not know who that is, - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:08
If you do not know who that is,
That little act will make this leg explode. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:06
That little act will make this leg explode.
And this arm will break in half right here and spin in circles. - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
And this arm will break in half right here and spin in circl...
Big racist. Now he said... - Bert Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle 00:05
Big racist. Now he said...